I had a ding ding! moment today. I realized that liking a guy gives me bad anxiety.. it turns me into someone I do not want to be.. someone who obsessively checks their phone, is less interested in self improvement and lower self esteem. I realized that personally, at this point in my life, despite how much I try, I do NOT have the ability to not be a pickmeisha, that is simply a fact. I’ve been going about FDS all wrong and almost for show... I follow the basic rules; never text first, initiate plans or pay but I’m a fraud. I secretly think about a guy CONSTANTLY and have noticed today how quickly my mood/day changes when he calls/texts (which is often I may add.) All this time is being stolen from investing in myself and it hit me like a brick today. Know yourself. If you do not have the ability to date right now without loosing yourself, no matter how supposedly great the guy is, take a pause, step far far back. Your life is not full and you are not ready if he is occupying your mind and can impact your life with his attention. Ive always considered myself to be emotionally mature/independent but wow, I have so much work to do on myself before I’m ready to give my time or place in my life to anyone and there is no shame in admitting that.