So I’ve been watching Married at First Sight because I’m bored and inside all the time due to quarantine. At first I liked the premise of the show because it’s somewhat wholesome reality tv (or so I thought). I’ve watched about three seasons and I’ve noticed a pattern. Most of the couples will end up having conflict and the women usually have strict boundaries. When they stick to these boundaries, the counselors tell them “marriage is hard,” “you need to open up to him,” “you just don’t communicate well enough.”

They rarely tell the men in these situations to be more thoughtful or think before acting. The burden is always placed on the women. I’ve seen the counselors basically gaslights these women and tell them that the reason they’re single is because of x character trait and that they’ll never be happy married if they don’t lower their boundaries and expectations.

This show really illustrates how marriage is always the woman’s burden. She shoulders the relationship and if it fails it’s mostly her fault for not trying hard enough. Even if the man in question is lying or conniving, there will always be a therapist/counselor to tell you to communicate better. It really shows that this idea of communicating isn’t necessarily about learning to engage with your partner, but about keeping the woman preoccupied, thus stopping her from thinking of an exist plan.