NEVER ask a guy out!

InterestingMango0 · 2020-12-15T10:51:05+00:00

The comments are oddly FDS. I’m surprised majority of commenters are against the “ask him out” strategy.

2020-12-15T10:51:58+00:00

I used to think that because I wouldn’t agree to a date with a man who didn’t interest me, no man would agree to a date with a girl that didn’t interest him either. LMAO did that get me played. most of the time, men will say yes because why say no to free sex and attention?

cupittycakes · 2020-12-15T11:02:57+00:00

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pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-12-15T14:21:04+00:00

There really are fewer things more slowly soul destroying than forever pushing that Boulder up the hill with someone, only to get that “take you or leave you” feeling from them. This is exactly what’s happened every time I’ve pursued a man and driven all major and minor relationship milestones, including my ex husband. You ask them out, you bring up the DTR talk, you kiss first, you say “I love you”, you press to move in together, you beg to finally meet their friends/family, you bring up marriage etc etc etc. all while they dig their heels in with dumb excuses. Only to finally be met with a limp, weak, lukewarm “marriage” and the distinct feeling that they wish they could do better than you, but you’ll do.

Sewud · 2020-12-15T12:47:50+00:00

Yeah guys just will hide the fact that they don't like you to get access to sex. Doesn't change anything for them, they don't get attached and can leave at any time.

2020-12-15T11:26:18+00:00

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aellope · 2020-12-15T10:13:41+00:00

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balladwilds · 2020-12-15T16:07:14+00:00

damn women are waking up. I love it.

Mind-Objective · 2020-12-15T14:56:38+00:00

Met my ex on bumble, an app that requires women to initiate. The fella decided to ask later if I want to go to his city (which was three hours away mind you) to see him; I declined. Initiated conversation with him a year later which was stupid on my end because he even acknowledged that he treated me like shit but I still came back. First date I drove over to his state to see him. First in person serious conversation to resolve a problem guess who drove over. Post break up guess who was suggested to drive over if they want a serious serious conversation. Had the audacity later to act up, saying I never loved him or did anything to show him that I care, when I refused.

See a pattern? The guy got comfortable with me putting in a lot of the work. Don’t act stupid.

Previous-Focus-2013 · 2020-12-15T19:06:17+00:00

Girls, READ NOT YOUR MOTHERS RULES

Yes, this is my exact experience with dating engineers or nerdy IT guys.

They are not shy to reach out when they need some and will gladly accept sex/date

Realized this when they went cold after sex for 2 weeks and said "oh, did you expect smtn?"....after acting like he's so into me/ talking every day for 3 weeks, confessing feeling while drunk, going out with me every time I asked if he wants to go out. We settled on FWB but he barely texted me Cause he’s not sure once he got sex, never outright just tell me he's not interested because FREE SEX

All ended up in me not putting out and them going ghost

Destroyed my self-esteem over these dudes in my early 20es

They are all emotionally stunted.

ariel_1234 · 2020-12-15T15:03:08+00:00

Where is this mythical place with 50 attractive men?

BasieSkanks · 2020-12-15T21:54:10+00:00

Yeah, asking men out is a dead end for women. The best dates I've had have been when the guy has taken all the initiative in terms of asking me out, setting a date and time and coming up with the activity. It never worked when I did all that work. Men will say yes to whatever is available most of the time, even if it's not what they really want, and they will gladly admit it. I currently have an acquaintance who is semi-orbiting me at the moment and wants to sleep with him, even though both he and I know that I am not physically his type. He admitted it to my face. If I was to make the first move, I know for a fact he would say yes, but he would be saying yes because I am available, not because he really wants me.

yangoseed · 2020-12-15T18:16:28+00:00

I just had a conversation with a guy coworker of mine last night and it 100% reinforced this. He says he never turns down a date even if he’s not interested because it’s free food/experience. YIKES. He also openly said he plays the “nice guy” role...that was all the validation I needed to stick to my guns on never initiating again.

tiavarga · 2020-12-15T20:41:15+00:00

This ☝🏻so much this 👏🏻

_boring_daven_ · 2020-12-15T19:33:52+00:00

“When a girl asks you out, you say yes” - my guy friend 😓

yesmme · 2020-12-15T17:50:24+00:00

I was never, ever a fan of approaching a guy and asking him out because it never works out in the end. I’ve had model friends ask men out. I had a friend who was a part time model, rich, intelligent, and was studying law at the time. This woman was so hot that she attracted rockstars. Many asked her out but she also liked asking men out. It never worked out for her whenever she did. One boyfriend even cheated on her.

Even on OLD when I still used it, I expected that my matches would message me and if they didn’t, they were not men I wanted to date. Sometimes I would get lazy and not check my profiles and I would end up getting notifications from someone I matched with awhile before. If it took that long for them to initiate a conversation, I couldn’t even bother with them because it tells me that whatever they had before messaging me didn’t work out.

ladyyninjaa · 2020-12-15T22:08:45+00:00

This 100 times over!!

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-12-15T17:50:12+00:00

I would say don't even volunteer your number. Make him do that work.

Terrible-Charity · 2020-12-15T18:39:21+00:00

Learned the hard way

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2020-12-16T09:06:48+00:00

its true on the few occasions ive ~made the first moove~ they disclose they have a gf, BUT offer to take my number anyway- or go on to say how thier gf has been a real bitch of late, and or keep flirting and Im just like nope no thanks, but the implication is always there - And its like they think they are a still good guy, coz they were honest. Ones that have not been in a relaysh DTF and Ghost and the sex is always always complete and utter garbage obviously because they see it as a no effort boner bonus round. Never. Ask. Out. A. Guy. not even a shy one, who wants to date a shy guy anyway like dude grow up.

2020-12-16T11:21:14+00:00

So here's my issue with "never ask a man out": although I agree with it, at the same time I think a lot of women who think this are making the mistake of seeing themselves through men's eyes and reinforcing unhealthy beliefs about themselves.

I've made my interest clear to men before (without asking them out), but just because the idiot will assume interest is desperation doesn't mean it's true. He's operating under stereotypes and gross misogynistic beliefs about women. If he thinks it's too forward or aggressive then that reeks of emotional immaturity on his part. If it's just because he thinks he needs to chase you, that means he's fucking immature. There is no chase in mutual reciprocation, I'm not a fucking mouse and he's no cat. In all these cases, he's wrong and you dodged a bullet. You didn't do anything wrong.

I wont ask a man out, but I sure as hell will be clear with my emotions. No games.

The many men I've been clear with who "ran away" after the fact always came crawling back when I responded in kind. Why? Because I'm first showing interest and if they don't return it then I am no longer interested. I don't like people who are scared of clear emotions and I think very low of them when they assume that I'll chase harder or I'm obsessed with them. Even lower if they think I can't handle rejection or if they are afraid of telling me no. And I think the lowest of them when they want me when I don't want them, it tells me they hate themselves.

Me showing interest doesn't mean I'm easy. Oh no, the work hadn't even begun. But if they want to assume that, they've filtered themselves out without me needing to do much of anything.

Fucking losers.

The long and the short of it is: if they like the chase, they don't like me. Next.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk and make sure you hit the subscribe button. Xoxo

Edit: and can I just fucking say what's wrong with wanting a relationship? Lets shame men for wanting just sex instead of virtually telling women to stop expressing emotions and desires. Men suck, kthx.

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Title	NEVER ask a guy out!
Author	greenteaapplepie69
Upvotes	645
Comments	39
Date	December 15, 2020 10:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kdj522/never_ask_a_guy_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-ask-a-guy-out.499143 https://theredarchive.com/post/499143

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