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thatsrightmytype11
[–]chatrebelleFDS Newbie159 points160 points161 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's like we make men better but they make us worse and people seem to think that's normal.
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No lies detected.
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Confirmed they're parasites sucking the life force out of women.
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist94 points95 points96 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Low value men do not change for any women. They just find a woman/women who will accommodate their bullshit, or end up alone.
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
wow, the truth
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you realise this, you start to feel a sense of relief. You realise that you’re not the problem - their dysfunctional way of thinking and behaving is. Do you think that a man just woke up one morning and thought, “I’m just going to be an asshole to nycgirlhere?” LVM are practiced at being low value. They’ve done it to women before, and they will do it women after you.
[–]Bubbly-ManufacturerFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re welcome realizing how much you traumatized me made you a “ better” person . 😒
[–]jjlew922FDS Apprentice30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She needs to get in touch with her anger for being used as a placeholder. Wake up woman.
[–]greensciencegeekFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, I am not a lesson for someone to learn!
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope. 💅
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
FUCKING NO. I’ve done that, but I’m over it. Why should I waste my youth fixing someone?
Ladies, if you spend too much time fixing someone else, you will look back in your life and realize that you never had time to work on yourself.
Stay strong, Queen. 🌺😎👸
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really hope whoever dates my ex right now really has a better time than I did, because I don’t want any woman to have to go through what I did.
[–]NonRedittorFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. We are not rehabilitation centers
[–]hexchromosomeFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think the quote "women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men" fits here.
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men do NOT change, they just find someone who is more willing to put up with their crap. Perhaps the woman had an even worse relationship before and in comparison thinks he is great. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure!
[–]DJSparksalotFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is a valid thing to address imo. Avoiding this is the goal but this mindset can trap people in abusive relationships. My bff and I have been friends since Kindergarten and were both abused and grew up to be pickmes.
We both got into years long abusive relationships in our early 20s. I bounced last year after wasting 3 years. I put in work on that relationship but I know it all was worthless and the cost was sunk on him. It's been a year of getting my head on straight and thanks in part to this sub spelling it out for me and in part to maturing I'm aware of the nature of most men and will not again settle for less than I'm worth.
She on the other hand is 6 years in and kept on a short leash totally wrapped around his finger. She for the last 6 years has dealt with being alienated from friends, cheated on, and beaten and believes that it's her fault and she deserves it & if she just learns to be the perfect gf he will change. I've tried to convince her to leave even before leaving my own ex and she moved into my house briefly this January before going back, only to come back to mine this week. After he smashed her phone in a drunken rage and physically attacked her.
But even after this I can see him weaseling his way into making her feel responsible for it. That his emotional issues made him do it and he's just a SadBoiTM who needs her to rescue him because he's too incompetent to save himself without her.
Trying again to convince her yesterday she said something about how she's done so much for him and all of that work will be for nothing. I tried to explain sunk cost to her but don't know if my words were lost on her. Even though he's garbage she's done things to improve his life and isn't comfortable walking away from that which she has dedicated herself to for years because he gives her just enough validation to think that the work she's putting in will eventually be appreciated.
I know she's making bad choices now by always thinking the best of him and the worst of herself and continuing to waste her time on him when frankly I'm afraid what's next is him killing her. But I really want to communicate to her and other women in her position not to subscribe to the sunk cost fallacy and to walk away from the years you invested knowing that you gained nothing and that the only thing you can do to protect yourself at that point is to stop investing more.
Maybe they really did level up at your cost (most don't, my ex didn't. But for months I thought I had as he was gallivanting around with the girl he cheated on me with happy as a clam acting like world's best bf on social media before I blocked them. But from what I hear from mutual friends he's regressed to being the same abusive alchoholic asshole he was during our relationship, so just take them being in a "better" position because of you but without you with a grain of salt.) But if you have the courage to walk away at least what you gained is a lesson on behavior not to tolerate.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's so sad when this happens! there are so many stories of abused victims eventually getting killed and I hope your friend sees the light before she becomes a statistic. It's sad when a woman truly feels she needs to change a man for some reason. I literally point out to my friend she has this habit of trying to make her partners better but like its not her place and if they don't want to don't bother. Why do women want to set themselves on fire to keep losers warm? I never understand because I rather someone become better because I influenced it but I don't want to force the change.
[–]lilithdianaraFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This kind of mentality breeds more pickmes
[–]Whateverbabe2FDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is true, but not for personal relationships. It's not okay to take advantage of people like that.
So big shout out to all my past therapists, doctors, nurses, mentors, bosses, etc. I love you and thanks so much for helping me!
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i'm actually writing a thank you card to my therapist from years ago because of this comment. she changed my life for the better, permanently!
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh, this is probably what some of his many girlfriends think.
They're in for a rude awakening. He's not better. Lol
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
imagine saying this to men! HA!
Yes, if you are a licensed therapist.
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ooops forgot which sub I was on and almost accidentally downvoted
[–]FlamingDragonQueenFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I interpreted this as just knife the men and then I wen to the comments and was like oh
[–]throwawayyyyyynowwwFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He made me better for the next. Jokes on him!
[–]lacyvultureFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cope
[–]burntbpdFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤒🤒🤒
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[–]chatrebelleFDS Newbie159 points160 points161 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sage_PlanterFDS Disciple51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CassieGreen85FDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist94 points95 points96 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BasieSkanksRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bubbly-ManufacturerFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jjlew922FDS Apprentice30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greensciencegeekFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist40 points41 points42 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]everythingandloveFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NonRedittorFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hexchromosomeFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randomgirlimokFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DJSparksalotFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lilithdianaraFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Whateverbabe2FDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LevelTurbulentFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alpha_AriesFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]myousernameRuthless Strategist1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FlamingDragonQueenFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawayyyyyynowwwFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lacyvultureFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burntbpdFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link