We know this applies to romantic relationships with men. And no lurkers, I don’t mean “acting uninterested and being childish”.

This’ll be (if he wanted to he would) but what they would… goes hard as diamonds when it comes to other men. I need that kind of motivation from a male partner because I’ve seen many be very capable of going all out. Only, for favor of other men.

Difference is, women aren’t requiring the gauntlet to be run to receive our love. Cause it’d be crazy to ask them to swallow a gold fish for a date w a woman. Do they subconsciously require hardship to truly value a relationship? Maybe.

I mean not easy to be or feel good enough for. Excited to better themselves to be considered. Not easy to continue to deserve membership. Very easy to be ejected from the organization/inner circle/perks/favor/trust/ LOVE/ a continuing relationship for the future.

Ever intimately known a man pledging a fraternity:

The humiliation they know they’ll endure and are super ready for it because IT’S WORTH IT! Sleep deprivation, sexual embarrassment, alcohol poising, torture of other men & women, basic underling lowly treatment. They know it’s coming and they are clawing to be allowed the privilege of this to be loved by these other men eventually.

Country clubs:

They must be vouched for by a member. After that the other men vote on him. They do a background check, vet his family background and how likely they are to embarrass the organization or act unsavory. Men will jump through hoops and pay thousands in order to be part of a country club. They instruct their loved ones on how to behave when vetted (which they will be) they will better themselves in many ways in order to secure a spot. Because they care and they want it. They value it.

Secret societies: You know what they are if you’ve known someone in it or trying to be & grown ass men from 30-90 years old value being a part of this more than they value their children, wives or even parents.

Watching a friends husband be emotionally abusive to her for years and scramble to be seen as a worthy candidate was the last straw for me. I had to get yalls perspective. He agonized about every outfit. Thought day and night about his criminal record. Planned dates to take high up members on to get to know them. Genuinely cared and valued this relationship with these other men he didn’t even know.

I’ve never ever in my life seen a man care hard like what I’ve described here toward a woman. Ever. I’ve never seen a man value or care for a woman the way I’ve seen them value and care for these male relationships. What is this? Does it take the hunger games for a man to find value in a person or relationship?

One thing is for sure and it’s something we should learn from. Men do not accept other men (in these situations) without extreme effort and hardship.

Edit: this is very USA centric. If you know of other versions of this non US based, please share.