Please help me get over it

thighsmatch · 2020-07-11T16:11:39+00:00

Don’t gaslight yourself. If his lack of attention was making you feel anxious and sad then you did the right thing. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? And he might actually be a good guy, and that is why he isn’t breadcrumbing you and stringing you along. Perceived rejection like that hurts (I’m going through it right now too!) but it is overall better to clear up heart space to meet the right one.

Caedere01 · 2020-07-11T16:03:41+00:00

If you weren't satisfied with what he was doing then you did the right thing. There is no such thing as "too hasty" when it comes to dropping a dude who is paying zero attention to you. Also, don't question yourself because of these things, if something doesn't feel right you don't need to continue it.

Rough-Tree · 2020-07-11T16:59:23+00:00

I'm going to paraphrase something relevant from a Greg Behrendt interview:

What do intentions look like? You know what you look like when you want something, you're not to be stopped. When a guy is hungry, do you think he sits around going "I'm hungry, I wish I could get a sandwich, I would love a sandwich right now" No, he goes and gets the sandwich.

If he wanted you, he would go get you. But he doesn't. Don't chase someone who doesn't want you.

Howslap · 2020-07-11T17:04:33+00:00

It sounds like he was making you feel sad, insecure, and unimportant. And those are completely valid reasons to break things off with someone. I'm sorry to say that when a man stops communicating regularly it is 99.9% because his attentions are on another woman. And even if that's not the case with this dude, you dont want to be with someone who makes you feel like you are not a priority. I definitely think you've done the right thing. Stay strong and don't second guess yourself queen!

veruscka · 2020-07-11T16:29:41+00:00

He has no reason not to call/text you. The quarantine probably just expedited what was inevitable. You did the right thing!

terribletimingtoday · 2020-07-11T17:20:11+00:00

One of the simplest statements I've heard on this is: "They will text/call/email/Skype/Zoom/Duo/meet you if they WANT to do it."

A text takes two seconds to send. Unless he's in a place where he cannot carry a phone with him, he's actively making the choice to NOT text you day after day. And, if he is in a place like that, it takes two seconds to send a text before or after he's no longer in that spot.

If someone is interested in you they will make the time for you!! Yes, it hurts when they just basically drop off or ghost you, but that means they weren't your person. He's not your guy. That's all. Your guy won't do this. He will make the time to talk to you.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-07-11T17:17:05+00:00

Don’t grieve the man he never was. You are always 100 so don’t give him half your time when he was only pretending to be invested. You don’t suddenly lose interest in your friends after so long do you? Nope, so the only thing he lost interest in was his plan to play you

chickenery · 2020-07-11T18:17:35+00:00

If you’re not sure, put yourself in his shoes. Ask yourself: if you met a man who ticked all your boxes, was attractive, was a HVM in every way, and you saw potential in the relationship, would you just blow him off for days on end? Would you stop responding to his texts and saying you’ve been busy? Would the quarantine cause you to lose all interest?

I’m guessing the answer is no. He’s not texting and calling because he’s not fully interested. Block and move on.

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-07-11T16:02:12+00:00

I feel like there really aren't going to be a lot of situations where a HVM doesn't show his willingness to communicate and desire to keep a relationship going with you. The fact communication dropped off tells me he probably wasn't a HVM, so you didn't make a mistake.

43rdaccount · 2020-07-11T17:35:24+00:00

i agree with what everyone is saying here: if he wanted to bond with you, he would! and the fact that he wasnt is proof enough that he did not want to bond with you. u deserve better and in the meantime enjoy your single self!!

he will most probably hit you up after quarantine, but i wouldnt give him a chance: everyone is affected by quarantine yet we are still in contact with our friends, family and loved one, so dont let him dump all the blame on q !!! no free passes, treat dating like a job interview, no room for mistakes

MissKinkykittykat · 2020-07-11T21:16:24+00:00

I've just had an almost identical experience. You did the right thing and don't go back.

I thought I'd met a HVM two months before lockdown. He was handsome, intelligent, attentive and very giving (never let me pay, cooked me gourmet meals). Then the communication became one sided. People have more free time than ever for texting/calling.

I'm not chasing a man. He's either interested and shows it or he can fuck right off.

Jasmineof-Agrabah · 2020-07-11T19:46:56+00:00

I guy that likes you will never make you doubt

sexxxybae · 2020-07-11T20:30:10+00:00

Heard that a lot of guys did this. They feel if they aren't having sex or the potential of it, they just stopped talking to girls they were in the start of dating.

AverageToHot · 2020-07-11T17:57:50+00:00

The way you get over it is redirecting your focus on improving yourself, so that you feel more confident in who you are and how you’re able to get a higher quality guy.

2020-07-11T19:53:24+00:00

Um no, after two months he should be acting very very attentive he’s still trying to win you over.

2020-07-11T17:56:35+00:00

He lost his interest over time (probably for another girl) and it has nothing to do with you.
Spend time with your loved ones and do stuff you enjoy to take your mind off him.

heliodrome · 2020-07-11T18:52:22+00:00

You weren’t too hasty. I have to agree with the ladies that he is not interested to pursue you and you did the right thing. They will sometimes put up a fight and gaslight you, if you’re breaking up with them. They are trying to control the situation. Block and delete.

swatir24 · 2020-07-12T02:57:53+00:00

You don't need to rationalise your actions to yourself. It didn't feel right and so you broke up. That is reasonable enough.

Title	Please help me get over it
Author	simuwa
Upvotes	80
Comments	21
Date	July 11, 2020 3:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hpbvxr/please_help_me_get_over_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/please-help-me-get-over-it.704276 https://theredarchive.com/post/704276

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