Question: while our assumption may be that "everyone" is looking for a partner to love, do you think many men are actually looking for a partner to hate?

gfcacdista · 2020-09-06T09:58:22+00:00

To sleep with, cook and clean for them, for sure.

elainejay82 · 2020-09-06T10:06:36+00:00

Absolutely. Some men see strong, wonderful women and see it as a challenge to wear them down and break them over time. They're sick... but it's very real that they exist. Some men have no love in their hearts at all and can only project the hate they feel for themselves onto a partner. They aren't capable of anything else. Like emotionally/mentally/neurologically/physically not capable of empathy nor love.

These types are very real and you don't realize it 'till one of them scares the bejesus out of you. Ladies messing around with dating truly need to understand these types are out there and that they are good at duping you and hiding their true nature for as long as it takes to get you hooked.

MixWide · 2020-09-06T11:52:59+00:00

Why would anybody assume that everyone is looking for a partner to love?

Our entire culture pushes the idea that boys and men deserve a woman who will serve him, who will do his chores and bear his children and be beautiful for him and provide sexual satisfaction for him.

Even historically there was no requirement that he actually love her as a human individual, only that he financially provide for her and possibly fight off other males who would try to attack her, and these days women are expected to work and kick ass for themselves while wearing a full face of make-up and 6 inch heels (EMPOWERFUL!).

My experience has been that most men don't want a partner at all, because most men have never learned to view women as full human persons in the first place. They are not capable of envisioning a romantic partnership. They are capable of a sort of paternalistic love when it comes to women, perhaps, but not the form of love that happens between equals.

Platipus6 · 2020-09-06T12:09:24+00:00

A disturbingly high percentage of single men aren't looking for love, or hate. They don't even think that what they're doing is hateful. The longer they're single, or the more resentful they feel about being dumped, the more they invest in "getting revenge", getting what they're "owed" and taking it out on the next woman they meet.

They legitimately think that all the time, effort and money they spent on the last woman was a pointless investment, and it went into the "woman monolith", so now they can extract their returns from the same monolith. Or all the time they spent being rejected and lonely, while you were having a grand old time with Chad, it's their turn and they need to even the score. They need to catch up.

Beware the man who bumbles and fumbles in bed regarding your pleasure, orgasm, wants and needs. He's playing catch-up until it's "fair".

The man who moans about his ex being a gold-digger, or making him "do all the housework". He plans to share nothing, and do nothing. He's already paid, and the idea of women's work is humiliating.

Men's definition of "fair" is 'what benefits him'.

Men are looking for a 'fair' relationship, where they receive all the benefits without lifting a finger. They don't see this as hate. It's simply fair.

While life is completely neutral and he's getting exactly what he deserves, (nothing), he wails "it's not fair".

0kfornow · 2020-09-06T12:01:55+00:00

[deleted]

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-09-06T14:41:08+00:00

I don’t think men look for a women to love. And I don’t think they consciously consider what they do as hate because it is so normal.

They look for a woman to fuck. And fucking for them is about lust and ego. They want to feel desired even though they are not desirable and make no effort to be so. So they come to us to make them feel a certain way that’s all. They are at their core, users. We are not people to them.

When they set out to find a wife they look for submissive pickmeshas that will do all the cooking, cleaning, and fuck him whenever he wants, without ever complaining about his behavior. If she does all that and passes every test he will consider bestowing the gift of a committed relationship upon her. This is the goal of women, to marry and serve a NVM man. To have his children and stay chained in the kitchen.

So his “love” is the prize and she has to compete with all the imaginary women that are vying for his marriage proposal. So he can be choosy on which wife/servant he picks. Maybe he will grow tired of this one after a couple years of dating and want something new even if she did everything “right”. And he has every right to do so, he is a man after all. He worked hard getting that 40hr job. He’s entitled to upgrade.

This is all very intentional and there is no excuse for it. I don’t see it as anything other than abusive and hateful. They are raised this way.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2020-09-06T11:23:50+00:00

I don't know, but I think hatred is inevitable if you get into relationship with somebody who resents you from the very start. It's inevitable if you get involved with somebody with poor emotional maturity. If he uses scapegoating to take the heat off himself, you will be the #1 target for it in his life.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-09-06T14:01:03+00:00

Men hate women. The reasons are well known. But they want MUhhh SEXsss, and fleshlight and hookers don't give them the ego boost and external validation that a willing woman does.

So they hate the entities that provide and deprive them of muhh sexxs.

If you are a woman, and a man is interested in you, he already hates you for being a woman.

2020-09-06T12:44:30+00:00

Absolutely. Part of why going to therapy needs to be normalised. First long term abusive relationship was with a boy whose mother stood by as he was beaten by his step-dad. He hates women with a firey passion, and ya know what, I can't imagine how horrifying that sort of childhood could have been. Second long term abusive relationship was with a boy whose neglectful and abusive mother became ill and at a shockingly young age he was required to be "her hands and feet" and yeah... I can't even begin to describe what he went through.

They hate women and expected a mother figure (financisl support, cooking, cleaning, etc) who they could fuck when they want and punch in the back of the head or yell at.

But when you're an adult and have access to free therapy and you refuse because "i dun waaaaannnnnaaaa das laaaame" then it's on YOU at that point. You don't get to be violent, aggressive and demeaning towards women because you can't bother to take advantage of free mental health support and treatment.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-09-06T17:46:25+00:00

Men just want the benefits that society tells them their entitled to. Think about it. Women are groomed that they only hold value in relationships with men. If she can catch a man and convince him to leave his bachelor lifestyle, she’s won the ultimate prize.

Men on the other hand aren’t raised to be husbands and fathers. So they aren’t looking for relationships unless they want to use a woman.

I’ve seen videos on YouTube where the men were ask what do you bring to the table/ what’s a good husband. They couldn’t explain for shit what that meant except for gay men. One guy said men don’t think about that stuff. Yeah because it’s not pushed on them from day 1.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2020-09-06T15:59:32+00:00

They're looking for free labour and sex. Hence the term bangmaid

Verysoftbun · 2020-09-06T19:07:34+00:00

I have thought about this and observed it a lot.

I think people who have a lot of anger, ECT need a target to exercise the anger on. They practice it in their head but have no outlet for it. They have to live with it until they can find a target to "justify" the anger on.

I think that's why a lot of men will act like women are more stupid/annoying than they actually are, because then they can justify exercising their bad behavior on that woman. It has nothing to do with the woman.

For example, if I met a person who was stupid I wouldn't then go "ok time to point out their behavior, mock them, ECT." I'd go. Huh that's sure an idiot. But I'd keep it to myself. I'd avoid them if they were dangerous and maybe I'd give gentle suggestions. But I wouldn't then hang around them more and verbally abuse them.

Abusive people like to have a punching bag friend. Think Gaston and lefou. They need someone to f El superior to.

I think men seek out women who are too insecure to stand up for themselves and who maybe are a little unwise and then use that as an excuse to practice their already existing abuse on, but pretend that they aren't like this usually, that the woman brings it out.

It's why stuff happens like a woman making a tiny mistake and then the man using it to fly off the handle.

A friend's sister talked to a man who complemented her shirt. The husband got so mad he flipped out, tried to fight the man. When they got home he threatened her with a gun, threatened to kill himself, had a mental breakdown.

Healthy people don't do that.

Don't let anyone practice their abuse on you. There's never anything you could do that justify it. If they really didn't like your behavior, or you did do something actually had, the healthy thing for them to do would be to leave you. NOT stick around and use it as an excuse to hurt you.

ItsFreezen · 2020-09-06T16:50:19+00:00

Yes I think so. Men are looking for women to hate to punish them for what their exes did to them.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-06T17:07:26+00:00

When my ex tried to get me back by claiming he really loved me, I said "that's funny because towards the end it felt like you hated me". It really did. There was nothing left to try and save by the time I left. Why be in a relationship with someone who acts like they hate most everything about you?

thedollparts · 2020-09-06T15:14:29+00:00

A lot of them are looking for partners to submit to servitude with little pushback. Some are also looking for ego boosters and easy sex.

Acy931 · 2020-09-06T20:34:54+00:00

Based only on my experience they are looking for someone to be around, like not to love or hate just someone to sit there and not question their way or life, or ask them to change anything about themselves.

NottodayScrote · 2020-09-06T16:23:02+00:00

Idk. I've noticed most men go for women who bring stress and drama to their life. People say its because they like a challenge ect. I think they also see these types of women as take no sht typed being more likely to protect their offspring

Kitty015 · 2020-09-07T00:24:48+00:00

Most men are only looking for a hole in which to nut.

havingababypenguin · 2020-09-06T17:38:19+00:00

Did you just read, Men who hate women and the Women that Love Them?

Title	Question: while our assumption may be that "everyone" is looking for a partner to love, do you think many men are actually looking for a partner to hate?
Author	0kfornow
Upvotes	124
Comments	48
Date	September 6, 2020 9:48 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/injdvo/question_while_our_assumption_may_be_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/question-while-our-assumption-may-be-that-everyone.173762 https://theredarchive.com/post/173762

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