typing this on a phone, apologies in advance if this becomes a wall of text! ~

I had a dangerously low self esteem for most of my life. I met someone a few years ago who treated me very coldly, and though I tried to do everything to make him stick around, he ended up cheating on and leaving me for someone at his job. It absolutely destroyed me.

Around that time, I met someone new. He was definitely LVM status financially speaking, but overall, he was fun and nice and incredibly sweet. I told him I wasn’t ready for a commitment initially, as i had just gotten out of something, but if things go well for a long enough time I think it is something that should be discussed. He agreed, and from then on we began to date. Things were really great, this is the first person who I was able to express my feelings with, someone i could converse with without having to worry about being “too much”. But eventually I realized things were a bit stagnant. The texting and dating became less frequent. I brought this up, asked if we could change things, and he kept apologizing and saying that he’s naturally forgetful, a flake, etc., and things would be fine for a little, and then it would go back to being subpar.

And then I found you guys, after a year of dating this dude. And after 3 days of scrolling through every single post and the handbook here, I called him last night and had a discussion with him where I said, word for word,

“You’ve disrespected me with this lack of communication and the hesitation to commit despite me wanting to. Do you see this going anywhere or am I wasting my time?”

And he STARTED FUCKING CRYING. Saying that he fucked everything up, that he shouldn’t even be dating because his anxiety (which is pretty bad, to be fair) makes it hard for him to cope when he knows he’s hurt someone, etc etc.

I told him that’s all I needed to hear, but he kept apologizing about how he treated me/took advantage of my kindness/how I deserved so much more than what he’s been giving me.

And after all of that, he asked if we could talk in person over dinner about everything.

If I still had feelings for him I would’ve avoided it, due to possibly falling back into this, but honestly I can say for a fact that I don’t have any romantic feelings for this person anymore. I haven’t cried even once over this. In fact, after ending things I felt really strong and relieved.

I agreed to dinner, and to talk things through, and to solidify the zone of friendship being built here I added “while I’m not in love with you, I’ll always love you as a friend”.

Yes, he was not the best partner, but he was a decent human being and a really fun friend. We have a lot in common, and not only that, I’m very close with his sister, who is his roommate, and we have a mutual group of friends, so seeing him will be unavoidable regardless of whether or not we stay pals.

I genuinely don’t care either way. He’s cool and all, but if you guys think it’s probably not the best move, It wouldn’t kill me to cut him off completely.

TL;DR: is it shitty to want to remain friends with an LVM ex, even if there’s no way I’ll ever date him again?