Two shy introverts go on a date…

dancedancedance7 · 2021-09-16T03:17:14+00:00

I'd say don't over engineer it. Do you have introverted friends and family who you get along well with? If so it's not rocket science. If you click it'll just work.

rainbowshummingbird · 2021-09-16T03:07:04+00:00

I think it will naturally work itself out as you become more familiar. Like you, I’m an introvert and activity related dates seem to work better for me, at least in the beginning stages of dating someone. Like a ping pong bar/restaurant. Some physical moving makes me less shy.

naturopathicfantasti · 2021-09-16T03:59:31+00:00

The introvert/extrovert thing is something I think is misinterpreted a lot. Not that you are.

Most humans don’t usually have rolling and enthralling conversations upon first meeting each other without an anchor person present that they do know.

Someone who isn’t immediately interactive for a 1 on 1 with a stranger isn’t an introvert. They are completely normal. Interest and common ground to speak on takes time. That’s why meeting ppl on OLD feels weird AF.

All that to say. If you are a butterfly with people you know and not like that with people you don’t. (Him too) that doesn’t make either of you an introvert. It means you are an authentic person who develops a relationship in a normal way.

AAlegend8 · 2021-09-16T03:10:04+00:00

I dated an introvert for 3 years while in uni, and let me tell you, that man could talk in private! It grew tiresome going anywhere in public with him though, because the onus was always on me to carry conversations with family and friends. I was, and am, an extroverted introvert. It wasn’t bad, but not optimal.

pozzalovah · 2021-09-16T04:33:07+00:00

He should be the one thinking of ways to break the ice not you...

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-16T05:47:43+00:00

He needs to put effort in it. Don’t overwork or talk more just to cover him and expect gifts, love signs, letters don’t cover him with “he is just an introvert” like i did with my ex lvm. Personally im tired to carry introverted men, friendship sure i love my friends and my sister but in a relationship is a no no for me.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-09-16T11:16:18+00:00

I’m an introvert who loves dating introverts (but especially men more introverted than me.) You don’t have to fill the silence. I think one of the best things about dating another introvert are those moments of comfortable silence. Take a pause, then ask a question.

If the silence is too awkward, it’s not a good match.

arnezuara · 2021-09-16T03:03:22+00:00

Extroverted or not, he needs to be the one to take the lead, or make an initiative. Sure, you may work on your social skills, but only so much — never make the first move.

Otherwise, you’ll end up getting yourself hurt.

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-09-16T13:00:07+00:00

Try to find common ground. Something you both like that you can discuss. Of course, it shouldn’t be all on you to carry the conversation, he should be trying to find common ground with you too. Ask open-ended questions.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-09-16T16:39:01+00:00

Communication is a skill that can be improved regardless of either you are intro- or extraverted.

Introversion has more to do with how you spend/gain energy than with your communication skills. We, Introverts, spend energy in a company of people and recharge alone while extroverts are energized by socializing.

You can still be engaging, fun and a great company while slowly draining your energy. You just recharge later at home.

How you build the skill if being a good conversationalist is up to you. You can start practicing more with people you, take Oral Communication class at your community college, volunteer to expose yourself to people in your community, etc.

Again, it's a skill that can be built and perfected with practice.

Mcccy · 2021-09-16T20:37:05+00:00

What helped with my shy introvert ™ was talking about shows/fandoms he's interested (fave childhood shows as well) then asking about his favourite characters from these shows and then questions about him.

Questions about work (stories about weird customers/co-workers he likes/dislikes), are good ice breakers as well

Title	Two shy introverts go on a date…
Author	lifesok
Upvotes	136
Comments	27
Date	September 16, 2021 2:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pp5089/two_shy_introverts_go_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/two-shy-introverts-go-on-a-date.1070186 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070186

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