First off - forgive my pickmiesha flare - it is what it is - I apparently have non FDS opinions on money and marriage ( I think joint accounts make sense). It is what it is. but I had a thought and I wanted to share.

Several nights ago when around 3 a.m. my husband Would Not Stop Snoring I contemplated what single mom dating life would be like, should he disappear. There are forums online where men LOVE to pick on single moms that dare to want to date. How dare they have any standards, having reproduced and all! It occurs to me that this hate has nothing to do with these women having children, and everything to do with the fact that being a mother in and of itself would make dating men who do stupid things impossible. They can't get these chicks because dating a single mother automatically means engaging in some high value behavior in order to be able to even make plans with this woman.

If I was dating as a single mother there are the things that I put up with in my 20s and single that I could never do again:

- Last minute plans? No go. You need to have me on the books far enough in advance for me to arrange solid child care, and make sure everything is ready to go. There are no it's 10 p.m. wanna grab a drink kind of dates.

- Coffee dates? Sure I could... but am I really going to waste my limited childcare resources/ask family to inconvenience themselves for a latte? No.

- Hookups? Not happening. I'm not going to yours because - kid. You're not coming to mine because - kid. In fact with a kid no man is walking into my house until I know him good and well. In my 20s I may have let men into my home without having known them for forever and a day. With a child in the house I am not taking that kind of risk, ever.

- Me chasing a guy? No time. I've got a job and a kid. I plan my Costco trip days in advance to make sure I have time to do it, and that's with a husband and childcare. I can't imagine single mothers have as much time to obsess over a dude texting/calling/etc. when they're worried about their 457 item to do lists just to keep their small humans alive.

- Running late? Not happening. If a single mom showed up it means she probably got ready with one or more tiny people interrupting her, hanging on her, climbing on her, and demanding snacks as she's just trying to put pants on. She's arranged for childcare. If she can make it, and you can't show up on time, that is... beyond acceptable.

- Pressure to reproduce before your eggs scramble? Gone. Plenty of women put up with crappy behavior because they see their time as running out. If you're 35, want kids, and your relatives are reminding you that your fertility is now declining at exponential rates, plenty of women will put up with less and shittier behavior. Well... these women have kids. Many of them do not want any more kids. They are not getting depressed before their birthday wondering if their dreams are going to disappear. They have the kids, and their biological clock is calm AF.

- Most women have much higher standards for who they will let around their kids as opposed who they would let around their single selves without any kids.

- I am not paying for a dude if that money is being taken away from things I could be spending on my kid.

Anyways, I just honestly think that the reason a lot of these dudes are hating on single moms is because it's a demographic they can't get near with their bullshit behaviors.