We've always been told that marriage is a struggle, relationships are a struggle, right? But I think that that is just an excuse. Learning to live with someone can be a struggle, but relationships should not be, at least not like that. If it feels like your relationship is a constant volatile back and forth, then you should know, that they don't care or they care to much about the control they feel over your emotions to change. And that might sound harsh, but take it from someone who watched her parents for eighteen years and easily fell into the same circumstances to learn the exact same lesson: people aren't stupid, and if something happens repetitively, THEY KNOW.

One last lesson to share from my parents in this post. Something my mom said to me once, always stuck with me, she said: "if it wasn't for you, I would've left your father". The thing is that, she didn't say that with any malice. She said it with a beautiful strength and confidence that I have only glimpsed a few times in my life; a vision of who my gorgeous, wonderful mom could've been if she had married someone who gave her strength instead of taking it. My parents story has a somewhat written ending and it breaks my heart, but I will always hope. And while some excuse my dad, saying that it isn't his fault that he never knew how to love properly (one of the talking points he uses to degrade my mom): I KNOW that when you care for someone for real, you will try your damndest to show them that. And while his "normal" is jovial and seemingly candid, I know now that you can never trust that.

To return to my subject..

In my life, I have only witnessed one couple that I 100% know were real and who cared for each other like that. And one thing I remember so, so clearly was my dad's remark that "that isn't what a relationship is like". (They were in their 40s and very much in love.) Nothing is perfect and no one is either, but when a person says that they love you, you better see it, feel it and know it.

So, let's clear this up once and for all!

YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED TENDERLY. YOU DESERVE TO BE CHERISHED.

You deserve to have someone who sees you as more beautiful than the most radiant sunrise and when he touches you, knows that he is grasping perfection.

For all of those women who will never know what that is and who have been taught to expect differently, I beg of you, don't settle for anything less. This is as much a reminder for you as much as it is for me: don't let that crown slip. 😚

edit for any punctuation mistakes, spelling, etc