So y’all probably know the infamous Anita Sarkisian clip of her going “everything is sexist, everything is racist” and so on. Often that clip is taken out of context, as she was talking about how when you join or are a part of an ideology or movement, you start seeing the stuff you’re against everywhere. While I disagree with her (and to be frank, don’t like her) I think this point is applicable to any sort of ideology or movement if you shuffle around the -isms. I bring this up as I think I have a habit of falling into this habit, and I believe others do as well, as is often the case of human nature.

I don’t say this to suggest we stop or disparage venting, in fact one of the things I dislike about a lot of the subs for men’s help is the tendency to criticize the poster for venting instead of fixing regardless of the issue. I think we need spaces to let shit out and share our experiences and frustrations, especially if it can make for productive actions moving forward. This also isn’t to say don’t be critical, particularly in the case of media, but there is for certain a medium to be made.

Personally, I find myself often angry and feeling hopeless about a lot, for a variety of reasons I’m sure have been shared before. In the case of media I often catch myself doing what Anita described, only probably more inverted from her ideology. While I don’t want to be mindless about media consumption, I don’t think it’s healthy to not be able to enjoy something because you are constantly reminded of various issues. There’s a few reasons for this: one) if you start scanning things to avoid them, while not inherently bad practice and probably healthy to a certain extent for ones health, it could lead to you developing an unchallenged dogma, which we must all be conscious of regardless of political stances. The second and most important I think is that it just makes it difficult to enjoy life if everything is political, and we don’t need to make that harder than it already is. Not only is this bad for the individual, it’s bad for the movement as a whole as it leads to burn out and a sense of hopelessness.

One of the issues I think much of the MRM faces is that sense of hopelessness that is created. While it is understandable, I think it does lead to a certain amount of inaction, and can bring out a lot of not great qualities in people, alongside the detriments to personal health.

The thing is, I don’t know how to help the issue, especially while still making sure we don’t just ignore shit or prevent venting and sharing views and experiences. So I want to ask you guys what you think is helpful on a group and individual level? What can we do to provide hope and support to others? And what do you do to help keep yourself sane?