I found this Reddit when I was trying to figure out exactly what being a feminist meant. I'm 19 years old. I'm a woman—or girl. I like calling myself a girl; I’ve been doing it for so long.

But, you know, I’m 19, and for most of my life, I feel like I’ve been against feminism. When people said feminism is for everyone, I just didn’t believe it. I appreciate the progress that’s been made for women’s rights, but in households and everyday life, I’ve never seen any real progress when it comes to men’s rights or even acknowledgment of men’s thoughts and feelings.

I saw this firsthand after my cousin gave birth to her baby boy. He was the first boy born into our family—he’s the only baby boy I know. My family usually has a lot of girls. Since then, I’ve felt even more unsure about feminism. Because while I’ve seen it uplift women, I haven’t seen it uplift men. And that’s fine—but if you claim to care about everyone and still ignore or dismiss men, especially when women say or do things that are clearly harmful to men and little boys, then you’ve already lost my trust.

This kind of behavior only makes the problem worse. I haven’t seen feminism as a group truly advocate for men. Instead, it often feels like men are blamed—as if most of their behavior is just inherently toxic. And I don’t believe that. I refuse to believe that.

I’ve never been public about how I feel, though. As a woman, I don’t want to be labeled a “pick me” or seen as someone who’s male-centered—because I’m not. I care about fairness. I care about people. And I care about men’s rights and mental health just as much as I care about women’s.

I believe mothers are just as responsible for their sons’ behavior as fathers are. The women around young men have a huge impact on their lives too.

But I found this subreddit, and I’m glad I did. I actually enjoy seeing what other people think—especially the ones this topic directly affects. I like having a different perspective, and I like not feeling crazy for thinking the way I do.

That’s all I have to say i suck at ending stuff.