It’s something i’ve been thinking a lot about and that’s the idea that men are only interested in women for their bodies. It’s something on surface level that seems to make sense, a lot of porn is very physical, with a lot of what makes someone attractive being their looks. But i’m starting to lose more and more interest in this narrative, as I view the statement in a more nuanced way.

Firstly, I think it’s important to state how cishet men are usually attracted to women. Men usually place a much higher value on physical appearance, that’s true. However there’s often a missing component of this discussion and that’s the “wanted” aspect.

View it this way, if a man could:

A. Afford to pay a sex worker, and

B. View women solely as objects

Why doesn’t every man who’s lonely and want sex just pay for a sex worker? We all know the inherent answer to this question: it’s because of the payment aspect. Men largely want to believe that someone is sleeping with them because they want them too, not because they have exterior motives. Of course, this isn’t every man, and many men are happy supporting sex work and prostitutes.

It’s why OnlyFans took off so quickly, it’s a model as to where you can pretend the girl actually is interested in you, hence the chat feature. It provides that second component to male sexuality that’s so inherent.

So we come back to that original statement that “men only care about women for their bodies” and through inherent logic we can deduce that, no, they don’t. They want women who have great looks and who feels the same way back.

Some feminists will bring up the idea that “well men SA don’t they? If this was true wouldn’t all sex be consensual?” And while admittedly convincing, i feel like we all know the answer deep down. (Just throwing aside the idea that men’s sexuality is fluid and these are generalisations) SA happens due to a power and control element, it’s what makes predators do what they do. It’s why they groom vulnerable people. It’s not actually about the sex, it’s about the power.

So all in all I think it’s actually false to say that men view women as objects. Because looking around at society we can actually see that as false, women who objectify themselves can make a living, but not every man is going to take that option because they want a connection, something more than just a financial transaction.

It also says something that most men who seek out prostitutes are committing adultry, they already have the connection angle covered, and are usually dissatisfied with the sex life within their marriage.

Finally, you may look to porn as a means to disprove my argument, but i believe that actually if anything it proves it. Why do porns have scenarios in their titles and paper thin plotlines? I mean aside from the obvious “because it’s hot” reason. Well, it’s because that additional context allows the men watching to project their own “connection” on top of the material. It’s hot because it gives the fantasy that there is a reason as to why two people are fucking, and that fulfills the connection angle. If that wasn’t the case, porn would be a hell of a lot more robotic and skip the context entirely. The fact it’s so common just goes to show that it’s a lot more than female bodies.