The word that doesn't fit

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2022-01-05T21:46:03+00:00

Thank you Tin Men for all the work you put into your info graphs. I download and store as many as I can to share at appropriate times.

Six months ago I decided to try and get my work place to help a not for profit mens mental health group (see below for details and contact information) by offering spaces for them to host their meetings. I've yet to see if anything will come of it but fingers crossed.

This year for International Mens Day I spoke to our (female led) mental health team about having an announcement put in the news letter about services for men. The news letter was never sent out, unlike the one for Womans Day which was packed.

I then tried to sell the idea that we needed a specific male laison for mental health and safeguarding because young men need positive role models and a demonstration of positive masculinity in action but that fell flat despite quite a bit of enthusiasm from my female boss.

All in all I have SOME hope for the future but its got to come from the ground up. While Ben Bradley and Phillip Davis are our champions we need to get behind to figure head us in Parliament right now the strength of their influence only goes as far as our willing to push onwards and make ourselves known.

When I put myself forward in each of the three instances above I was honestly worried I'd be tarred as a misogynist and fired. Thankfully my good character and the sympathy of the staff held me in good stead. And that's why I still have hope. My fears went unfounded, infact there was a lot of support.

It's all well and good being in the Internet trenches fighting the culture war but at some point we will only make real ground by being brave, going over the top and showing our faces. Humanising our plights and problems. Despite how scary that might seem, it isn't as bad as you'd think. Start with mens mental health, that one position where anyone opposing you looks like a monster.

Mental health charity information, if anyone is interested...

Andys Man Club is a non-political, free charity run by men for men to talk and be listened to. We meet up once a week, on a Monday between 19:00 and 21:00. We started this year with under 50 branches, now we have 74! https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

It took me 2 years to get through those doors. I would walk up to the doors each night then turn and walk away feeling defeated and ashamed. Little did I know how much I'd benefit from it and how little I had to fear. It won't be for everyone but it might be for you.

Use the link above to find your local branch. Good luck, brothers! Xxx

TheTinMenBlog · 2022-01-05T21:01:50+00:00

Enough. No, the UK is not a patriarchy.

A country whose gendered laws are written exclusively for women and not men, is not patriarchal.

A country that ignores the way that men and boys are hurt by institutional sexism, is not patriarchal.

A country whose political strategies and interventions around violent crime, sexual violence and domestic abuse, exclusively support women and erase men, is not a patriarchy.

A country that strips rights from fathers and gives them to mothers is not a patriarchy.

A society that sits idly by and watches it boys descend further and further in educational attainment, and does nothing to help, is not a patriarchy.

A country whose political leaders openly advocate for women, yet are too afraid to do the same for men, is not a patriarchyAnd a country that only cares about women’s health, and appoints more and more policy makers to represent it, without similar positions for men – is not a patriarchy either.

Don’t get me wrong.

I have no problem with ignorant people, what they choose to do in the privacy of their own home, is of no business to me.

But I do have a problem when people’s ignorance and insistence of paranoid fairy-tale politics is used to influence, lobby and dictate highly gendered political reform, to the detriment of men and boys.

The UK is not a society that wholesale advantages men over women.

And those who claim it does are guilty not only of this ignorance, but of perpetrating a false narrative that is actively harming men and boys.

~

Source

ONS, Life Expectancy

ONS, UK Death Data

ONS, Suicides England and Wales

Nature, COVID ICU

Images by Nasa Image Library, and Anirudh from Unsplash

PricklyGoober · 2022-01-05T21:36:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

goddamn_I-Q_of_160 · 2022-01-05T22:36:07+00:00

We should crowdfund some billboards.

TAwayLWMA1107 · 2022-01-06T01:57:54+00:00

Here's a few things I don't understand.

1: Patriarchy is a system which excludes women from positions of power, yet there is absolutely nothing stopping your average woman from running for office or starting a business, becoming a manager, etc. But I'll touch more on this point in a bit.

2: We've been told by feminism that if the problem isn't "men do it to other men" or "toxic masculinity" then its the patriarchy. But lets roll back to 2016, Hillary won the election this time, little ole' miss "Women are the true victims of war." I saw no signs that she gave 2 flying fucks about a single issue that affects men, or that anything would change, really. People (mostly men) would still be shipped off to war. But hey at least when the PTSD riddled nightmares keep you awake at night you can take solace in the fact that it was a strong independent woman who called the order this time. Not only that but you made the military industrial complex a little richer, 4 out of 5 CEOs of which are women! https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/top-us-defense-firms-led-women/story?id=56564622 Breaking that glass ceiling one corpse at a time baby!

Or remember earlier on when we needed a bump in minimum wage? Remember when senator Kyrsten Sinema said fuck poor people with a thumbs down curtsy? So much girl power!

Back to the "women exempt from power" thing for a bit. Not only is there nothing keeping women from being in power, women can vote, start businesses, invent, innovate, etc, but they do get in power! The CEO of Youtube? A woman. Again 4 out of 5 military contractor CEOs? Women. The creator of Bumble? A woman. Hillary, Betsy DeVos, Sarah Palin, AOC, all women in politics. And the reason Hillary wasn't voted in wasn't because she was a woman, it was because she fucking sucked. She sucked and has the charisma of a brick. And if you want a position of power and aren't in one, its not because of the "patriarchy" its probably because you suck too. The "patriarchy" is just an easy target to blame.

So what I get from all this is women are people, just like men. And people, be it man, woman, black, white, asian, cis, trans, whatever, can be good leaders, or bad ones. So when you tell me all the issues the world faces are caused by the patriarchy, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. The gender, race or any other defining characteristic of the person fucking me over matters about as much as the color underwear they have on.

Anyway sorry for that long incoherent rant. I also wish to apologize to any service members if I came off as rude or diminished your sacrifices, I meant it as a way of saying we don't take care of our veterans like we should. Thank you for all you do.

Roary93 · 2022-01-06T11:54:31+00:00

Cue feminists stating "BuT tHoSe IsSuEs ArE aLl CrEaTeD bY mEn" to refuse any acknowledgement of those issues, then in the same breath have the gall to say that it's for women and men. The hypocrisy and ignorance of every feminist is palpable and appalling.

SamaelET · 2022-01-05T21:41:50+00:00

I live in a world where men are expected to live four years less life than men because if they do not it means that men are privileged !

cf : https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/qyv9hc/the\_global\_gender\_gap\_report/

SiloueOfUlrin · 2022-01-06T00:32:42+00:00

Why the separation of things? I'm sure if things applied to all people and not just specific groups, you could probably get a lot more done.

More people have more reasons to help with it. So why not have everyone together instead of one?

SamaelET · 2022-01-06T03:31:01+00:00

Maybe you should try r/UnitedKingdom

My post on male modesty and discrimination in UK's prison was pretty well received

RoryTate · 2022-01-08T02:48:30+00:00

These conversations with feminists that involve questioning "The Evil Patriarchy" usually go something like this:

Egalitarians: "How can you say we live in a Patriarchy, given the stats showing that men's health is given such a low priority across the board?"

Feminists: "We're just saying that a Patriarchy is where the majority of powerful government, business, etc, positions are held by men."

Egalitarians: "So if the Patriarchy has nothing to do with the actual state of our laws, funding, and their effect on women and men, then shouldn't we just join together right now and focus on getting these urgent problems fixed, regardless of who is in those positions?"

Feminists: "No, we must have equal or greater representation of women in all of those positions before we can fix the problem."

Egalitarians: "But women have a greater in-group bias than men do. Both groups show favouritism towards women, but it's even worse for women as a group. Won't that just make the health gap punishing men even worse?"

Feminists: "Feminism is about equality, so it has the answers to make things fair."

Egalitarians: "But the people right now who make the laws, and the budgets for health spending, are all vocal feminists. That is the case in the majority of countries where this problem exists. Again, isn't men's health just going to get worse if we can't first focus on fixing the actual laws and funding?"

Feminists: "..."

Feminists: "The Patriarchy hurts men too! Join us and help to smash The Evil Patriarchy!"

danmilligan · 2022-01-06T01:12:15+00:00

Start with the assumption that it is a patriarchy, then interpret all evidence through that lens.

MealReadytoEat_ · 2022-01-06T03:19:33+00:00

Male disposibility does not contradict most formulations of patriarchy, is acknowledged in different words by a fair number of feminists who use a formulation of patriarchy (men oppressing men of course), and is even integral to some formulations like the OG "Theory of Social and Economic Organization" (1920) by Max Weber still cited in anthropology today.

Sure its an argument against radical feminists formulations like that of Shulamith Firestone in The Dialectic of Sex (1970) that first brought the word into popular feminists use, but that's a pretty trivial feat and generally looks like a straw man because rad fem formulations are simply that dumb, despite their formulations of patriarchy very frequently being the bailey to a more sane formulations mote.

Like, all of the points in the post are even worse in oppressive Islamic countries where women are barred from nearly all official positions of power; even what this sub would largely agree are true patriarchies are very concerned with the safety and physical well being of women and girls, typically expressed by paternalistic policies and cultural norms that trade their freedom and agency for their security.

Mahameghabahana · 2022-01-06T15:22:27+00:00

Your post are always informative and tell the hypocrisy of our sexist world. Thanks for your contribution to the mens right movement brother!!

sad_femboi · 2022-01-12T10:08:54+00:00

The funniest part is that both your country and mine are literally by definition matriarchies, sharing the same female head of state at that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Quizzmo · 2022-01-06T09:26:54+00:00

I love your post but I think there is one misunderstanding in this one. Patriarchy, although often used in this way by people who's whole politics is "men bad" is not about who has it better. Men dying more is often a cause of the patriarchal system which is treating women protectionaly, while men should deal with problems themselves. We feel more empathy torwards women because we are taught under the patriarchal system that they are the ones to be protected, and we as men are the protectors, because they can't handle themselves, like they are some fragile delicate creatures that need our protection. That's a patriarchal mindset and is one of the causes of mens health and help being overlooked

MintIceCreamPlease · 2022-01-06T19:22:57+00:00

Because people see men as the norm: women's health-> outlier.

Men's health? Just health, according to them.

Teh_elderscroll · 2022-01-06T12:03:11+00:00

Isn’t the life expentency thing a result of biology more than anything else though?

the_bass_saxophone · 2022-01-07T20:00:39+00:00

Men don't run shit. Having a wiener and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee.

Money and power run damn near everything.*

It just so happens that money and power end up mostly in the hands of men with attitudes and prejudices that are traditionally masculine.

They are the patriarchy and it is real. There are just damn few patriarchs among us.

*(ed: Does anybody here have issues with my criticizing money and power? We are lefties here, are we not?)

LiquidDreamtime · 2022-01-06T20:26:01+00:00

The obsession men have over the word patriarchy is frustrating. You get so upset by the notion that we live in a male dominant society that you throw logic out the window.

73% of Congress is men. That’s the lowest number ever.

96% of Supreme Court justices have been men.

91.9% of Fortune 500 CEOs are men.

81% of US military officers are men

84% of US enlisted soldiers are men

87.4% of all police officers are men

Men are 64%, 85%, 80%, and 75% of judges in the appeals, third circuit, eight circuit, and tenth circuit courts; respectively.

88.1% of billionaires are men

55% of millionaires are men

The courts, militaries, companies, and wealth of earth are controlled by men. Men wrote essentially every law of every land. Of course, there is a patriarchy.

The patriarchy does not mean that men cannot suffer in our society. It only means that if a person succeeds, it’s more likely to be a man (which is demonstrably true given the percentages listed above). This environment hurts men in a multitude of ways, just as it hurts women. But it also benefits men in a multitude of ways, just as it benefits women. We have the capacity to address all of these things.

Title	The word that doesn't fit
Author	TheTinMenBlog
Upvotes	310
Comments	66
Date	January 5, 2022 9:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/rwwrr9/the_word_that_doesnt_fit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/the-word-that-doesnt-fit.1211902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1211902

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