First time caller, long time listener. Sorry for the long post, but there's a good but of background that I need to put out there to set up the scenario.

I discovered RP about 4 years ago. At that time I was heavily involved in a company where one of my main duties was business development. That led me to personal development, which led me to RP (and MRP).

I had been married for 7 years at the time. As my personal development began to progress over the next year or so, things began to happen at home. As I began to take the reigns and actively guide my family, my wife began to push back. A lot.

She had been juggling finances, and we couldn't save a penny to save our souls. I took over and automated all our payments, savings, and allowances for both of us. We had a healthy amount of savings in just a few months.

The kids weren't bad, but she was frustrated often by them. I took over bath time and bedtime. This allowed her some "me time" and allowed me time to spend quality time with them.

I dialed back on pushing sex. It was already non-existent most of the time, and when it was on the menu, it lacked any spice. I began to spend time on hobbies and not expect sex at all. Cue her whining that I "don't want sex anymore". WTF!?

Through all this, her attitude of "me, me, me" remained the same.

It came to a head just under a year ago when I lost my job to a mysterious illness that my doctor had diagnosed as "Generalized Anxiety". I was unable to work due to frequent panic attacks. My wife unwillingly took on more hours at her part-time job and we managed to stay somewhat afloat financially. I was visiting the ER every other week for an especially bad Panic Attack.

During this time, she frequently complained about having to work, and not being able to stay home. While I was drawing unemployment, she would ask every few days if I was going to get a part-time job so she could cut back on her hours.

I felt that my doctor was wrong about his diagnosis. I felt there was something deeper going on and that he was simply treating the symptom of the real issue. My wife couldn't believe that I would question his diagnosis and discouraged me from seeking additional medical care.

I had been contemplating a separation for a while because of the lack of trying on her part. And the current situation helped me make that decision. I told her I was not happy in our marriage and that I wanted to separate. The first time I mentioned it, she shrugged it off as if she didn't believe I would go through with it. A week later, I brought it up again with a timeline in place. She ended up moving to her parents house with the kids (she didn't want to live in our house alone).

It's been about 6 months. I miss the kids desperately despite weekly/weekend visitation. She continues to feign innocence and has accused me of having a mistress several times (there's not one). She has filed for legal separation (families advice). She has asked me if we are getting back together several times, and has given me a list of demands that she expects to be met if we do: Passwords to every account / device I have, location app so she knows where I am at all times, she refuses to "be a slave" to me (aka. keep a clean house).

Since we separated, I got a second opinion from a hematologist who diagnosed me with late stage lyme disease. She had never showed any remorse for her very vocal doubt early on in this illness. I'm now in treatment and will hopefully beat it soon.

So, knowing all this, what does MRP think? Do I continue to try to make it work with her? Am I to blame for the failure of this marriage? Am I the one that needs to change?

PS - Sorry if this post is a bit disjointed... brain fog is a HUGE issue in Lyme Disease and today it's especially bad.