LTR vs. Daughter, a no win trap

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-05T23:48:00+00:00

Unless your LTR is actually helping your daughter with real parental advice and guidance (she COULD be a positive mentor), tell her the next disparaging remark about your daughter will be her last. Your LTR can make all future complaints to her cats.

If you want your daughter to act like a good woman, date a good woman to show as an example.

Also, there is no real power struggle between them. You're weak and they're attempting to fill the void of the vacuum you've left. Get a backbone and watch them magically both start to adore you and maybe even get along with each other.

SorcererKing · 2016-05-06T03:17:53+00:00

Lead. Your. Fucking. Women.

You tell your daughter that you're her goddamn father and she better shut her mouth and it's not her place to judge shit when it comes to your life.

Tell the girlfriend that your daughter is a spoiled stuck up little bitch, and that you'll handle it and she should back the fuck off. Then you need to actually handle it.

Quit being a pussy. Quit being so afraid of losing shit that you lose shit. Comprende?

alphabeta49 · 2016-05-06T16:32:11+00:00

My dad is 56, fit, friendly, and if we were both single he could get laid more than I could.

Stop making excuses and make a change. Another said it: your women are filling the leadership vacuum your helplessness mindset has created.

cholomite · 2016-05-05T23:40:52+00:00

You need to own and accept that they will never truly like each other. They are both sharing your resources and will always feel competition and contempt for each other. You need to accept that as female nature and understand that you can't change it.

As far as making it easier for you, I think it should be handled like a shitty comfort test, where you reassure whoever it is (daughter or gf) that you love and care about her and that she's special to you and has nothing to worry about, but also reaffirm that the other person isn't going anywhere and that nothing can be done about it because it's your choice.

You'll get shit tests from both I'm sure, just keep it light with A&A or amused mastery as long as you can and if it gets to be too much just straight up lay down a boundry. No more talking about (daughter or gf) because I said my piece and that's all that matters. Let them pout if they want to pout, you run this shit.

MentORPHEUS · 2016-05-06T17:07:39+00:00

It's hard to muster "abundance mentality" at age 51, at least for me. I don't see myself spinning plates and re-entering the cesspool of online dating. So I admit that my former beta bitch self may be hanging on because he dislikes the alternative.

I'm 49 never married, my love life has never been better or more abundant. POF is like a candy machine to me; in 4-7 days my calendar is booked solid 2 weeks out and I have to hide my profile again. Don't think that you're trapped in a prison of age and scarcity.

Good advice ITT how to proceed with each. "LTR making dread noises" lol. You're still the prize, my man.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-05-06T00:16:57+00:00

Suck how people don't act how you want them to.

Perhaps work on who you put in a room with you instead, you can do something about that

Also, don't blame your wife, girls can't raise girls properly, that was your job.

Shubrook · 2016-05-06T16:15:26+00:00

I can relate to this. My gf/fiance and my mother are I'm the middle of a hamster fight. For every dig they make at each other, I'll bet they are making 5 to you.

I lit my foot down last week and told my gf that there will be no wedding unless she finds a way to get along with my family.

Tell them to cut their shit.

Edit: she just sent my mom flowers for mother's day without me asking her to. Let them know how their behavior is affecting you and they might ease up. It probably hasn't ever occured to your daughter that she could pull you into her frame.

ImprovingMan · 2016-05-05T23:19:14+00:00

I don't know what proper MRP advice would be but I do know that if two women don't like each other, it isn't going to change. Also, there is a built-in competition dynamic at play here. How often do they see each other? Getting rid of the LTR (which you don't want to do) or hoping that your daughter mellows out a little might be the only real options. I don't think niceness can be negotiated here. I would love to hear from the veterans on this.

triclops41 · 2016-05-06T04:39:55+00:00

I'd consider sitting them down in the same room and being very direct with them. Talk to them like they are in the fucking principal's office, because that is how petty this shit is. Make them shake hands after. They each hate a very significant portion of your life. Do they hate each other more than they love you? Let them decide.

UEMcGill · 2016-05-06T15:10:04+00:00

You're operating in their frame, but you know this hence the question. /u/Sorcererking spelled it out for you, as for action, but I'll let you know the why.

You're not acting like the prize. Remember, you should approach life with the intent on only letting people in your life who add value. There are no conditions for being friends (or family for that matter) with some one.

Make it clear to both these women, that you have zero fucks to give with their pettiness. Tell your daughter their are some things that dads talk to daughters about, and some they don't, then make it clear to her what the boundary is. Exclude her from your life if she can't respect this (this could be in part or whole).

My LTR keeps making dread noises

Does not compute. How does a woman make dread noises? Tell her she knows where the fucking door is.

My dad was an older divorced gentleman, and he got more ass than a bus station toilet seat. Maybe you don't want to spin plates, but you could easily replace your current LTR. Fuck I'm 43 and I've had 30 year olds tell me they'd throw my wife under the bus for her job.

What do women and dog shit have in common? They both easier to pick up the older they are.

Repeat after me, "I'm the fucking prize"

[deleted] · 2016-05-05T23:20:20+00:00

No wonder you can't win - you have a garbage mentality.

You start by presuming failure and then are surprised when it happens? What a fucking retard.

il-est-ressuscite · 2016-05-05T23:25:43+00:00

This reads like my worst nightmare. I will be very interested in reading the advice you get, particularly as I have begun dating someone that I think could very possibly be around for awhile.

My children all know I am dating and only my oldest son, not my daughters, seems a bit bent out of shape about it. I wonder if that could change when they meet her lol.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-06T00:21:21+00:00

You need to take control of the situation. People don't have to like each other. They DO have to be cordial and polite or shut the fuck up.

Don't let your daughter disrespect your woman, and don't let your woman disrespect your daughter. Set the boundary today.

Texan69 · 2016-05-06T00:42:27+00:00

don't blame your wife, girls can't raise girls properly, that was your job.|

Really?? I would have welcomed the opportunity to do that job, but my ex got primary custody and cash prizes a decade ago. My ex is who my daughter has lived with, and I've done the best I could with the time I've had.

I'm all for "own your shit." But I don't buy the "women are blameless perfect creatures and their actions are all your fault." Spare us the white knighting. I expected the typical flaming and name calling (see "retard") when I posted. To me, that's just a cost of admission for all of the good insights I get from this forum. But I have to admit, "own other people's shit," especially from perfect women, is new and amusing.

nastynickdr · 2016-05-10T16:56:02+00:00

Kill the beta and lead them.

"I don't see myself spinning plates and re-entering the cesspool of online dating"

You are always playing the game, like it or not. If you LTR knows that you are not going anywhere, she will shit on your head for sure. She prob knows and is shitting on your head right now.

PurpleVeteran · 2016-05-06T00:18:00+00:00

I've seen this play out before as well, and basically it never ends well. If they really don't like each other, the best you can hope for is detente, where they are courteous and tolerate each other when together, but avoid those situations and never bond. At the other end, either your daughter will basically cut ties, or you'll separate from your LTR.

You can make it clear that the other one is a priority in your life, and bring them into your frame, but you can't force them to like each other.

[deleted] · 2016-05-06T00:06:21+00:00

my daughter is mine for life, and that just IS

On the one hand yeah, she's your daughter for life (father of two girls and one son speaking) but on the other hand she's an adult now and needs grow the fuck up. You aren't choosing the gf over your daughter but frankly, your daughter isn't a part of your day to day life anymore (the gf is) and your daughter needs to accept that.

Hunter2isit · 2016-05-06T00:12:27+00:00

You don't tolerate disrespect from anyone, you are probably BP with your daughter, look at how you interact with her. The LTR you know can go, your daughter you said is yours for 'life'. That doesn't mean the relationship is constant though.

red_blue_and_hot · 2016-05-06T15:29:44+00:00

Simple. Sit them both down together at the same time, and in turn with the other listening, say exactly these words: "Listen, I'm tired of you being a bitch to her. She is a part of my life, and there's nothing you can do to change that. You don't have to like her, but you do have to get along with her. If you can't or won't, there's the door."

The part about together with the other hearing is important. It makes it clear that you are putting yourself as the prize and not the other woman. It's also important that you deliver the same exact message to both women, again showing that neither are on a pedestal.

blarggggggggggg · 2016-05-06T00:02:25+00:00

Age 51 is no excuse. Get in shape, dress right and have your shit together. This is some basic stuff.

You don't want to spin plates or online date? Get your day game going and get some numbers. And vet the girls hard.

Title	LTR vs. Daughter, a no win trap
Author	Texan69
Upvotes	11
Comments	41
Date	May 5, 2016 11:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4i2gak/ltr_vs_daughter_a_no_win_trap/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/ltr-vs-daughter-a-no-win-trap.200025 https://theredarchive.com/post/200025

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