Anything wrong with this comment?

girlwriteswhat · 2011-10-23T22:09:30+00:00

There's nothing sexist in that, though it could have been better expressed.

If feminism had stopped at telling women they could do anything (which they pretty much can), I'd be happy. Instead, they told women they can do everything, and I'm sorry, there's only so many hours in the day and so many dollars in the bank.

We want unlimited choice, but the hard truth of it is that given unlimited choices, we often have to choose between one thing we really want and another thing we also want, or find some way in which to balance those things, which will inevitably lead us to compromise on both sides of the line.

You cannot have the career of a man who spends 60 hours a week at work, and lives, eats and breathes his job--even to the point where he'll only play golf if he can network at the same time. You just can't. You can't be a politician and not spend weeks campaigning away from your kids. You can't be a stay at home mom and have a high powered career unless you're a bestselling novelist or some other exceptional occupation.

You just can't.

And it's grossly unfair to the rest of society to ask them to foot the bill to finance your personal fulfillment. Maternity leave is not equality--it's legislated courtesy. And this is speaking as a mother of three kids who collected maternity benefits. As far as I'm concerned, that's as far as it should go--if that.

The level of legal, social and financial support required to enable women to have/do it all at the rate we do in the west is insane. We demand society pay to train people who will end up working part time or not at all, and then we pay more to enable the few who want to work full time to continue to do so, pay them to have children (child tax credits and maternity benefits), pay them to offset child care expenses (daycare subsidies), pay to retrain them when they re-enter the workforce...

I have no idea how much the average child costs wrt the amount of social support involved in enabling a mother to not have to choose between work and motherhood, but I'd be surprised if it didn't approach or even exceed many women's incomes. How sustainable is all this?

InfinitelyThirsting · 2011-10-24T07:04:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ForMensRights · 2011-10-23T20:56:41+00:00

Fuck againstmensrights.

OThomson · 2011-10-23T19:53:03+00:00

Not really, its pretty much impossible to be a full time parent and a Career orientated person at the same time, i think your only mis-step was to say that it only applied to Women, as Fathers make good primary carers too.

Offensive_Brute · 2011-10-23T23:01:18+00:00

/r/againstmensrights is just a bunch of trolls, not even the other feminists get up with those freaks. Same with /r/shitredditsays. best not to pay any mind to these types.

but fyi its not about being sexist with them, its anything remotely antifeminist or even if you just use insensitive wording.

AnnArchist · 2011-10-23T22:44:30+00:00

I don't see a problem with it. . . looks like someone was just overly sensitive.

you did however forget to apologize for appearing to be a male.

ProWomanAntiFeminist · 2011-10-23T22:34:46+00:00

Why, you horrible misogynist! Here, let me fix this so it says exactly what they want to hear-

"Women, it's your choice to get married and have kids. You should not have to choose between having a successful career and having kids. You have a vagina, therefore society owes you a successful career while fully paying for your child care. You are already given paid maternity leave in most first world countries for a choice you made at the expense of your employers and colleagues, and that's simply not enough. Men should be forced to pay you 10,000 dollars a month simply because you pushed a baby out of your womb. Because we live in a patriarchy."

Lesson learned?

Bobsutan · 2011-10-24T01:49:40+00:00

Gasp! Advocating people be responsible for their decisions? What were you thinking?!

canadas · 2011-10-24T09:46:57+00:00

This is my thoughts.

Clearly for the human race to continue someone has to have babies, and on average they need to have more than 1.

Why should someone who does the necessary deeds of keeping the human race alive be financially punished compared to someone who does not help keep the human race alive and assume others will procreate enough to keep things going and as a result are financially much better off?

tl;dr having kids is a pain, but no one did it we would die out.

zarquon989 · 2011-10-23T22:13:08+00:00

r/amr is pretty much irrelevant. Most of the moderators and contributors are batshit insane. There are only about three people who post there regularly, and only one comment for every ten links.

It does have some use as an archive of the best content on r/mr, though. Be proud you made the cut!

chavelah · 2011-10-24T00:27:22+00:00

If I had ever held a job here in this first-world country that offered me paid parental leave, I might have a little more sympathy for this position.

My husband got paid parental leave, though, and it was great. The company that gave it to him has not gone under yet.

TheRealPariah · 2011-10-23T21:36:21+00:00

Nope. I find it shocking that telling the truth or being honest with one's thoughts or feelings is looked down upon.

thingsarebad · 2011-10-23T22:56:02+00:00

You challenged the leftist entitlement complex.

thedevguy · 2011-10-24T01:42:27+00:00

I would love to have a place like /r/AMR where I could debate with a hostile crowd and really have my beliefs challenged. But I just can't find such a place.

InfinitelyThirsting · 2011-10-24T18:15:28+00:00

You are already given paid maternity leave in most first world countries for a choice you made at the expense of your employers and colleagues, so don't expect more things to be handed to you on a plate.

I live in America. Paid maternity leave is not common. We are federally guaranteed only twelve weeks of unpaid leave.

Would you like to reconsider you argument for the hundreds of millions of first world women who don't have that?

gprime · 2011-10-24T00:44:49+00:00

It looks first and foremost to be a comment against government-provided aid, at least absent context. So no, I can see no issue with that. Hell, even if it is intended to mean that fatherhood should not create a financial duty, it wouldn't strike me as a problem, since the ultimate choice to have a child is that of the woman's, so she should assume the responsibilities of single motherhood if the supposed father opts out.

Title	Anything wrong with this comment?
Author	aloneinlove
Upvotes	12
Comments	51
Date	October 23, 2011 7:35 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/lm9ze/anything_wrong_with_this_comment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/anything-wrong-with-this-comment.1032696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1032696

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