I need advice on complimenting men.

Faluel · 2023-08-26T23:10:30+00:00

"Damn you're looking sharp today" nodding appreciatively.

ThreeHandedSword · 2023-08-26T23:09:24+00:00

well I seem to be in the minority on this but I consider "cute" to be a borderline insult. The best way to compliment someone is to find out what they worked on/worked for and express your appreciation for that

Perfection-seeker-13 · 2023-08-27T02:25:29+00:00

Most men are so starved in that area that no matter how you approach it, they will immediately think you are either being ironic (insulting them), have an ulterior motive, trying to pity them, or flirting with them, or some mix of the former. Some people will even feel outright uncomfortable, as they are never complimented and don't know how to respond in the moment.

Yes, it is sad that it will be seen that way, but that's how it is.

That's not to say you shouldn't try. But, unless you know the person you are complimenting well enough for it not to sound fake (to them), I wouldn't do it. That's just my 5 cents.

Appropriate-Ad-8030 · 2023-08-27T00:12:27+00:00

I wouldn’t compliment a guys looks…guys don’t get many compliments like that so it’s very hard not to think that you are flirting when you do…but you can compliment other things…like his intelligence, if he’s being a gentlemen, his possessions and it doesn’t sound like flirting….

Honestly though it’s very hard for me to figure out how to look fashionable…I know some guys do but it’s not something I ever cared about and I wouldn’t even know where to start

Ok_Night_7767 · 2023-08-27T00:40:25+00:00

I too find compliments uncomfortable particularly if they are overly effusive or give the impression of being personal. Those can easily be interpreted as flirting so reserve comments like that for times when you DO intend to flirt.

If you are complimenting something the man has done then something like "Excellent work" or "That was a fast turnaround" or even "that was thoughtful" put a clear emphasis on the action, not the individual.

tired_hillbilly · 2023-08-26T23:38:30+00:00

I don't like compliments. They just make me uncomfortable. I always just blurt out "Thanks", but I don't mean it.

Rambow1011 · 2023-08-27T01:04:14+00:00

As someone else said as well, don't compliment looks, go for something he did or has. Like, I get a lot of compliments on my shirts ( I wear 2nd amendment or various funny shirts) and I love it. However if some compliments my hair I am gonna feel weird.

Woke_Wacker · 2023-08-27T01:13:06+00:00

I'd refrain from complimenting anything too physical as it could be seen as flirting very easily as us poor guys don't get compliments often from the opposite sex.

I'd go with complimenting intellect or something specific about their dress sense. Maybe even complimenting how they carry themselves or if they are hard working. Men crave respect and to feel useful. Just asking us to help you carry something or get something off a high place for you then thanking us is going to make our day.

"You're a pretty smart guy, ya know" "You come across as very intelligent to me" "That is a nice jacket, you dress smart" "I get the feeling that you are a very respectable person," "You work really hard" "Hey, can you help me carry these? Thank you so much"

Original-Speech-9312 · 2023-08-27T01:33:39+00:00

Men aren't really used to receive compliments, so expect some to mistake that for flirting.

Not a big deal anyway, you can add something like: [compliment] + "and I'm not saying that because I'm trying to flirt, I really think you rare [comliment]".

Anyway I would focus on compliments on how good a job was done, and charachter qualities, like: "you've been very selfless in that occasion, respect", "I like how you came up with that solution", "you're really are a good person, I wish there were more like you around"

I agree with one of the comment here saying to avoid "cute" which is really diminishing somehow; but some could appreciate it because anyone is different.

Saerain · 2023-08-27T01:41:49+00:00

Getting interpreted as flirting is pretty likely IMO, exactly because of how rare it is. Even intentional flirting with men seems unlikely to take the form of direct compliments, so when they do come, it can easily feel like YES I'VE FOUND MY SOUL MATE.

And of course women fear being interpreted that way, so it's sadly self-perpetuating. I don't mean to insinuate that any of this is as it should be.

OldTrapper87 · 2023-08-27T02:51:14+00:00

If your worried about it coming access like your flirting that's good because it's going to be hard to avoid, I'd recommend act like a one of the guy or refer to him as dude lol.

"Wow dude nice jeans" comes across better "then nice plants"

1837-1980 · 2023-08-27T03:51:55+00:00

Don’t overthink it. I was with my dad once grocery shopping and told a guy he had amazing fashion sense and I loved his outfit. The guy looked confused at first then smiled, my dad was so embarrassed 😂. Don’t think about it to much, just be natural. I compliment men and women all the time on small things. They never seem to get the wrong idea.

michaelpaoli · 2023-08-27T06:55:53+00:00

guys

rarely receive compliments

Yep, highly rarely. Heck, if I exclude family/friends/acquaintances and such, the number of times some woman I don't already more-or-less know has given me a compliment ... it probably happens less than a few times a year. I can't think off-hand of any times it's happened this year, though there might be one or two that I'm forgetting. And thinking over the last few decades ... I can think of a couple that stand out and were fairly memorable - even if quite slight and passing (e.g. like "Hey, you look good in that shirt"), so, yeah, for the most part it just doesn't happen - with fairly rare (like maybe a couple times a year +-) exceptions.

Uhm, and, yeah, happens so rarely, when it does, I often at least think they're pulling my leg and trying to trick me or something, or make a joke of me (sometimes that happens too - but fortunately much rarer - that's mostly sh*t that happens back in like high school or much earlier - and thank goodness that's long behind me)

means a lot to them

Well, yeah, sincere compliment is quite nice. Means a lot? Yeah, I think/guess so ... though since I pretty much expect 'em not to happen 'cause they're so rare ... I dunno, does it mean that much? I try not to wrap my ego/mood/etc. around something that mostly just ain't gonna happen.

I'd like to start complimenting men more

Great.

How do I do this in a way that doesn't give the impression that I'm flirting with them?

Nice, direct, to-the-point compliment ... and simply just don't go all flirty on them ... or if they do or try to go flirty on you, just clearly tell 'em you wanted to compliment them on - well, whatever they did or are or whatever - that you appreciate and wanted to complement them on - that's all - nothing beyond that ... and they should then leave it at that (and generally will).

what kinds of compliments are the most meaningful to you?

Generally on things I go out-of-my-way to do - often doing such well to highly, even exceedingly well. Would be nice to get "thanks" or compliment or the like on stuff like that once in a while. Most of the time it doesn't happen, but, well, I do the stuff regardless - it's not like I do it for the thanks - it's typically because it's the right thing to do, or otherwise needs to or ought be done. And most of the time there's no thanks. Heck, sometimes it's even quite the opposite and I do it anyway. (E.g. criminal thugs generally aren't too appreciative when you prevent 'em from beating someone up).

Wylanderuk · 2023-08-27T16:46:38+00:00

Keep it understated, if you are overly gushy about it then it will come off as false.

Maybe use humour in it "nice suit, You off to court?"

But its probably better to stay away from appearance or looks based ones, how they did something or if they helped you.

But frankly if they do something that helps then you will go far with simple "thanks".

RelativisticPeanut · 2023-08-27T23:33:33+00:00

For all the reasons stated by others, complimenting a man out of left field is likely to be met with suspicion. However, we men also adore sincerity.

Therefore I recommend literally telling a man your intentions. Like "Hello, I've become aware that most men don't receive compliments, and I feel this is a shame, so I am trying to change my behaviour. You, sir, are wearing a fantastic outfit."

From this conversation he'll take away the compliment, understand there's no ulterior motive, and the better men will understand there's no evidence here about whether she's flirting or not, and so avoid making the assumption one way or the other.

Agitated-Ad-3576 · 2023-08-28T22:25:09+00:00

Well, you could compliment a guy who is a lot younger or older than you... So, if you're 30 years old, you could compliment a guy who is 14 years old (that might be the only compliment he will ever hear in his life) or you could compliment an 80 year old man (that might be the only compliment he has ever received in his lifetime).

No-Recognition-4033 · 2023-08-26T22:46:17+00:00

-nods head up, "you look decent."

ducayneAu · 2023-08-26T23:04:04+00:00

Try this - https://youtu.be/AcjfjEly060?feature=shared

Stairwayunicorn · 2023-08-26T23:15:48+00:00

You might be pleasantly surprised how far "Thank you for your service" will carry a man through the day. Even if he has not served, it suggests he could. At the very worst it might even encourage someone to be more civic-minded, which is a self rewarding virtue.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-08-26T23:47:56+00:00

If you compliment a guy it will probably be seen as flirting a bit so in order to avoid this say, “You look good today BUT I’M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU, I just want to compliment men more”. That should do it.

lumpynose · 2023-08-27T00:48:57+00:00

Mae West: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Any-Field-2473 · 2023-08-27T01:43:50+00:00

Whatever you complement make sure its genuine. I hate it when sometimes women give me pity compliments. Like calling me handsome when i know im ugly.

RockmanXX · 2023-08-27T04:00:32+00:00

Men like being complimented for the work they do, that's the easiest way to complement without coming off as Awkard. Do NOT compliment men on their looks, that is shallow&too personal.

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-08-27T04:53:53+00:00

How do I do this in a way that doesn't give the impression that I'm flirting with them?

Complimenting their work by saying 'thank you' followed by a genuine positive comment about some aspect/detail of it whether big or small.

Also, what kinds of compliments are the most meaningful to you?

Personally, those that relate to something that I'm uncertain about, since I struggle with low key 'imposter syndrome' in a couple areas.

Future-Air2527 · 2023-08-27T07:54:01+00:00

If someone compliments me I automatically think they're being false and wanting something from me, or making fun of me, maybe I need to learn how to take one?

spletharg2 · 2023-08-27T11:17:33+00:00

I would simply spell it out. " I want to give you a compliment, but I don't want you to think it means I want to get together with you" "can you handle a compliment on those terms?" If he says sure, then deliver the compliment. Maybe, if it's about attractiveness, distance yourself be referring to the larger context, like how it's a feature some other women might like. IDK, FWIW.

Status-Turnover-9677 · 2023-08-27T15:25:47+00:00

"guys rarely receive compliments" haha in all my 30 years of living so far I have not received any sort of compliment even once, despite routinely keeping myself well groomed/in shape/ fitting & matching clothes/ etc and I see no reason to believe that'll change, I'll probably reach old age in my death bed without knowing what receiving a compliment feels like 😂

pantsoptionalalways · 2023-08-27T04:30:44+00:00

"Great driving!"

Gold-Application8719 · 2023-08-27T06:48:40+00:00

Show appreciation for the things he does

Title	I need advice on complimenting men.
Author	BookwormNinja
Upvotes	31
Comments	41
Date	August 26, 2023 10:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/16295zc/i_need_advice_on_complimenting_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-advice-on-complimenting-men.1230487 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230487

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