With regards to relationships...

I'd rather be lonely and single than succumb to the horrible prejudice against men and expectations that are neither fair, nor reasonable. I don't fault all women, or any women really, for the massive societal movement against respect for men. If women are taught as young girls that this is what is fair, how could I blame them for being that way? I have no hate, only frustration and grief. And respect, for the few enlightened men and women.

I've never understood "tradition" as taught by my parents and grandparents. When I asked why we do certain things, I never got a reasonable explanation. Although conformity brings standardization, organization, progress, as well as a certain kind of psychological comfort - I've never been one to embrace it without reason. So I was met with shame when I asked, "Why do girls go first?" and with shame when I asked, "Why can't boys cry?" and with shame when I asked, "Why can girls wear pants and dresses, but boys can only wear pants?" and with shame when I asked, "Why do I have to mow the lawn and my sister folds laundry?" and with shame when I asked, "Why do I have to ask girls out, and not equally between?", and with shame when I asked, "Do I have any rights to protect the health of my baby if the mother is negligent?"

It is easy to feel worthless in a world where so many people have learned to distrust me for my gender, trivialize me for my gender, expect me to be either stupid, perverted -- and if not a complete slave to a woman - then a misogynist as if there is no fair and equal middle ground. And this feeling does not sit right with the conscious knowledge I have that I deserve respect, as a human being, not because of my gender. This internal conflict has found no resolve.

I found that I could either succumb to the way society thinks, in order to feel the comfort of being accepted by others. Or I could continue to fight for what I believe is fair, and live in destitute desperation.

And I have opted for the former, because once you've learned the truth, taken the red pill, and gone down the rabbit hole, you really can't go back. But all I want to really say is that I'm lonely.