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Just came across this on FDS from a couple of years back:

"I think we all know this. And isn't this why "nice guys" get passed over for the players who give off an air of confidence? People who have yet to calibrate how to detect high value behaviour can intuit (and be put off by) desperation so much more easily than other arguably more important factors such as sociopathic tendencies or high-risk behaviour like reckless driving. Some flags you have to fine-tune for, but man, neediness snuffs out interest faster than anything else. It's easier to mistake somebody who doesn't care for you for somebody who is self-assured, than to believe that somebody so burdened by need -whether or not that need is for you, specifically- can function."

I think that this is a particularly nexus point that has kept the whole RP/Incel dumpster fire burning for two decades.

It seems to me that men have a more sensitive radar when sociopathy/irresponsibility masquerades as confidence or high value in men, and that when women are attracted to the 'obvious jerk is obvious' the reaction ranges from bewilderment to rage. Its the whole 'Henry' problem from Radicalising the romanceless:

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/

which is the words of one exasperated commentator:

Henry clearly fails at meeting the minimum expectations of a normal person and sails well under the bar for inclusion into the human race. How come that isn’t a penalty to his attractiveness?

Also, how come this KEEPS GETTING ASKED and not answered? Like, how many times do we have to ask this before it’s engaged with by the people who are giving the “not being a jerk is the minimum” Chris Rock routine?

Now clearly this isn't all women, but the its a significant minority that has been uncovered thanks to the power of the internet in the last 20 years allowing men to share their bewildered lived experience at witnessing women being attracted to men that to all intents and purposes MANIFESTLY bad news.

Now the questions is, particularly to the women of PPD: why is confidence (which may be a mask for a any number of serious dangers for women) gets given a pass over neediness (which may mask problems that are less dangerous)

Edit: Could Redditors just for once allow women to give their answers in detail without flaming them. We might actually get this answered for once.