Do men have what is essentially a binary N count?

rus9384 · 2019-03-22T12:35:52+00:00

The thing is, those are men who had only one partner were more satisfied with marriage than other men. Same for women, but the gap is smaller.

Why? Those people (especially men) probably have lower desire for novelty and also may be less impulsive, etc. Well, we know there are a lot of traits linked with sexuality.

diffdedbed · 2019-03-22T14:34:14+00:00

I find it more surprising that the divorce % difference was only 11% more fore 21+ than 1.

[deleted] · 2019-03-22T11:45:31+00:00

This happens in both sexes. The more experience you have, the unhappier in LTRs you become as the knowledge they accumulate and expectations increase. This is no news here.

If you pay attention at the graph like in here https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/figure2sexmaritalhappinessupdated-w640.png you see that the curves have a general pattern. And the dip of men may be explained because they are naturally higher on the graph.

This is a research in social sciences, this ups and downs are to be expected as statistical noise. Please don't mind then if they are that big it is to be expected. It would be another thing however if this was a pattern shown in multiple studies. Is there other studies that repeat this patterns?

HonestyOverCivility · 2019-03-22T11:41:42+00:00

To put this study/general claim into perspective with an example:

Imagine you grow up in a small town that only has 2 restaurants. Because that’s all you know, you think that these two restaurants have the best food in the country. However after high school you move to a medium size city to go to college and find even more restaurants...these are even better than your home town ones! And now that you’ve been to them you think “maybe those restaurants in my hometown weren’t really all that great...”. Fast forward 4 years; you’ve graduated college and move to New York to start your first job post-graduation. Living in a big city, you go to a different restaurant every week and discover some truly unique and world-class restaurants! “Wow!” You think, “these are so much better than those restaurants in my college town!”. Having lived in the city for about 8 months now, Christmas comes around and you go back home to visit your family. Your first night there your parents take you to your favorite restaurant in town. At the end of the meal, you’re a pretty disappointed...compared to those restaurants in New York this one is terribly bland and unoriginal, which almost makes no sense because growing up you thought it was great...

This is why women with high N-counts are more likely to be dissatisfied. Having slept with so many men increases the chances that the find one who has made an incredibly strong impression on them. So much so that future partners just can’t compete. Accordingly, she’ll never be truly satisfied until she finds a similar caliber man. The reality in most cases is that women aren’t marrying the sexiest man they’ve ever been with, but they’ll certainly be thinking about him...this leads to women becoming “alpha widows”. It’s this creeping dissatisfaction that stems from a women knowing that she didn’t end up with the best man she thinks she’s capable of getting.

Electra_Cute · 2019-03-22T12:36:17+00:00

I generally disagree that partner count causes the likelyhood of divorce occurring, so no.

Uncommon_Sensed_1234 · 2019-03-22T15:15:07+00:00

"Perhaps genetics can explain the relationship between sexual biographies and marital happiness. Scientists have identified a gene associated with promiscuity and infidelity. And it’s long been known that there’s a purely genetic component to divorce. Maybe it’s some socially determined personality trait. Whatever the cause, it leads people to behave in ways that aren’t conducive to connubial bliss, with adultery being the most obvious and extreme example. Any of these explanations are possible, but none can be identified with these data."

I've come to the personal belief that because human societies have a strong history of engaging in both monogamy and polygamy at the same time, that perhaps generic variations happened over time to make one person lean more towards monogamy and the other polygamy.

The study suggests that marriages with a one partner sex count are the happiest. Paraphrased.

But what if it isn't the low N count which makes these marriages more stable, but a genetic leaning towards monogamy which makes the person more suited for marriage?

Sprach_McGrachan · 2019-03-22T13:22:09+00:00

Now I know that this particular study isn’t all that popular as far as agreement with its’ findings goes, but it does offer something to reflect on when it comes to making us think.

What makes me think is the sudden rise in gasoline prices which have risen .35 cents over the past two months.

Ordinate1 · 2019-03-22T14:21:22+00:00

What I see there are a couple of things:

The first, key data point that you need to know is that women initiate 70% of divorces. The entire discussion revolves around that piece of information.

First, for men, there is a clear, linear trend where having had more partners reduces the odds of a "very happy" marriage (although that language makes me wonder what the underlying rubric and data sets look like), the obvious conclusion of which is that women place more importance on fidelity once in a relationship.

Look at the huge drop between having had one partner and two; it's as large as the gap between two and two hundred! That's not even exponential, that is a discontinuous function if I've ever seen one (hint: I have).

For women, it's a little more complicated (isn't it always? but in this case...!). What I see in that data set is a divide between more and less sexually adventurous women, augmented by a trend line of indecisiveness.

Women who only have one or very few partners are not sexually adventurous (or they would have high N, it being generally easier for women to have casual sex) but decisive; women with high N are sexually adventurous, decisive or not.

Women in the middle, the "trough" of 4-10 partners (and probably continuing into the low teens, the data breakout makes it hard to tell), are not sexually adventurous but indecisive. This makes them more likely to wind up in relationships with sexually adventurous men, given their respective backgrounds, resulting in a difference in expectations for the relationship.

The one, major, glaring mistake this study made was in breaking N count down the same way for both genders; they cannot be compared on a 1:1 basis.

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-03-25T16:35:24+00:00

Well men get burnt out less from casual sex, STR and flings. in fact, up to a point, these are a big confidence boost for men.

GamingYourMom · 2019-03-27T04:00:35+00:00

Would you rather eat a sandwich or a sandwich that someone fucked?

Saw that in a vampire comedy.

Check out telegony.

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.timeinc.net/time/3461485/how-previous-sexual-partners-affect-offspring

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diffdedbed · 2019-03-22T13:36:36+00:00

Divorces. Show me a man married 3-4 times, we know where the problem is.

Title	Do men have what is essentially a binary N count?
Author	CosmicBioHazard
Upvotes	14
Comments	134
Date	March 22, 2019 10:44 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/b43kgv/do_men_have_what_is_essentially_a_binary_n_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-have-what-is-essentially-a-binary-n-count.256649 https://theredarchive.com/post/256649

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