Hookup material versus boyfriend material in terms of looks

FlavFal · 2019-06-08T03:36:31+00:00

I don't do hookups and I wouldn't bother dating a man I didn't find very attractive.

AgentStems · 2019-06-08T03:37:32+00:00

As far as looks go, my standards for hook ups versus partnership are the same. If someone is attractive enough for me to want to hook up with them, then they are attractive enough for me to want to date. For me, it’s the mental/emotional qualities in a man that set those categories apart.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-08T06:15:26+00:00

My hookup material vs boyfriend material in terms of looks is exactly the same. If you aren’t boyfriend material I probably do not want to hook up with you. The men I have had casual sex with are generally long term friends and the reasons for not getting more serious had to do more with social politics than looks (i.e. they were the exes of friends of mine).

rivertorain____ · 2019-06-08T06:16:05+00:00

They’re basically the same for me but for LTR I place more emphasis on character. Beyond base level attractiveness, things I look for:

Does he smoke? (Dealbreaker for me)

Is he in good shape?

Is he dominant? Do I feel feminine with him or do I feel like I am leading? (I am dominant myself so this is important for me personally)

Can he hold a conversation? Is he interested in getting to know me?

For LTR: Do our lifestyles match? Can I spend an extended amount of time talking to him without dying of boredom? Do we value the same things in life?

Maybelowsmv · 2019-06-08T03:40:10+00:00

after having recently have had a great time with the guy im attracted to (nothing touchy, just lots of conversation and eye contact, and caring behaviour/compliments). im actually feeling pained. there's so many great things about him, but we do have a few big incompatibilities. he'd be perfect boyfriend/husband material if it wasn't for these issues. and because he's so good, i can't imagine having something short term with him because id only get hooked or wind up being hurt. also, he has mentioned that he has experienced being with a woman sexually and feeling "used" for sex, so for some... i guess he's perfect for short term only

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-06-08T04:56:58+00:00

Short term I want people with options so they don’t cling to me or stalk or do so creepy shit and for dating doesn’t really matter to me too much.

goatismycopilot · 2019-06-08T13:02:49+00:00

I do not do hookups but looks are not the deciding factor, the deciding factor for me is when they open their mouths and start talking. A good looking guy can start speaking and a few sentences in I am gone.

Willow-girl · 2019-06-08T15:29:11+00:00

Beyond basic hygiene, looks don't matter much to me; it's more a matter of chemistry. The difference between ONS and LTR doesn't hinge on looks but on things like lifestyle difference or habits that are unacceptable to me.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-06-08T17:06:59+00:00

I tend to not have feelings of attachment to most people at all, but when I do romantically it’s strong. Therefore I don’t have casual encounters. I do not understand people who have sex with friends. Like going biking or playing a board game, just a hobby. It is very uncomfortable to think about sex in a non-passionate way like that. The only way that would work is if I began to see him as more than a friend and felt passion and possibly a future.

For a bf I need to find him attractive myself and be proud to be seen with him.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-06-08T21:57:37+00:00

They're exactly the same, although I don't do hook-ups. (with dudes lol) I have a very specific type with both genders, although I will make minor concessions if most of my boxes are ticked.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-06-08T03:35:05+00:00

Well for one, I can tell you that it's nothing physical, (ie face, body, height) that's the difference.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-06-08T03:40:34+00:00

Generally the same though I hooked up with a fair number of guys I wouldnt have really wanted to be seen with

pngmafia97 · 2019-06-08T11:07:06+00:00

Hookup looks: - 6/10 face or above - 5’7” or taller (I’m 5’4”) - can’t be fat, shapely shoulders + pecs as a minimum - no weird smells, generally clean

Boyfriend looks: - 7.5/10 face or above - same height acceptance criteria although I’ve only dated 5’10” and taller - needs to look very athletic, must hit the gym 3x a week minimum, visible 6pack not required but his general shape needs to look like the male body in an anatomy textbook with a V shaped back. i like really big arms, traps, back, pecs, and generally they will ask me what i want bigger and work those muscles to make me happy - must have compatible exhale smell (you know what i’m talking about, right? some people don’t smell bad they just smell... wrong for you) - as far as facial hair, if he can only grow a patchy beard, shit’s gotta he shaved all the time. if he can grow a full beard, maintain at clean shaven, 5 o clock shadow, or trimmed full beard with shaved neck during winter. i don’t really demand or need these things, generally they adjust their facial hair grooming habits to my aesthetic preference to make me happy

(Edits for mobile formatting)

AutoModerator · 2019-06-08T02:40:13+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-06-08T10:33:58+00:00

Same... I guess I don't categorize like that. At every stage, im either interested or Im not. If i stop being interested, its not something i predicted. If i continue being interested, I also couldn't have predicted it. It works until it doesn't

flamingoinghome · 2019-06-08T12:53:11+00:00

The difference between those two isn't based in looks.

hana9emi · 2019-06-08T15:24:44+00:00

In term of looks I would never date a man I do not find at least decently attractive (6/10 no shorter than me, I am 5'6', not overweight)

The difference between STR and LTR is job prospects, debts/no debts, generosity, common hobbies and goals.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-06-08T15:34:04+00:00

Much higher for relationships. I don't care so much about having sex with avg or below avg looks

darla10 · 2019-06-08T17:56:15+00:00

Didn’t do hookups. But full fledged relationships depended on the circumstance. If I needed some validation, I’d go for a very enthusiastic mediocre guy (who was average looks/personality) but I knew he wouldn’t be any sort of long term prospect. He was just a place holder until I found the guy I was really interested in, who was usually charming and attractive.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-06-10T05:01:26+00:00

That's not necessarily how it works. "Boyfriend material" isn't someone more fuckable than a fuckbuddy, they're a fuckbuddy who's also really emotionally compatible to the point where I can imagine living in the same home as them without being driven nuts.

carrawayjames · 2019-06-08T04:16:44+00:00

Most of the time they use the rule of six. 6 feet, 6 pack, 6 inches

Texastentialism · 2019-06-08T05:39:47+00:00

Exactly the same. Hookups were just would-be relationships that didn't go anywhere. I would have dated any of the guys I hooked up with, and I would have (and did) hook up with any of the guys I dated.

Title	Hookup material versus boyfriend material in terms of looks
Author	melissa995
Upvotes	4
Comments	34
Date	June 8, 2019 2:40 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/by33wq/hookup_material_versus_boyfriend_material_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/hookup-material-versus-boyfriend-material-in-terms.255413 https://theredarchive.com/post/255413

Comments