How do you define hypergamy, and what exactly is wrong with hypergamy?

caesarfecit · 2017-02-10T01:50:52+00:00

Hypergamy is sexual greed. Nothing more, nothing less.

With men it manifests as pursuing an ever-increasing quantity of sexually desirable women, without regard to existing relationships. This is commonly known as philandering or playing the field/being a player.

With women, it manifests as pursuing men of ever-increasing sexual desirability, without regard to existing relationships. This is commonly known as branch-jumping, trading up, or the cock carousel.

Without some hypergamy, we lose our sex drive and that's just not right, as our sexual relationships either atrophy or never form. If we let hypergamy run amok, we make poor decisions, behave unethically, and hurt people.

I've found Ayn Rand actually had some choice words about hypergamy when she equated sexuality to self esteem. A healthy sex life is the effect of high self-esteem, not the cause. And hypergamy occurs when sexually greedy people try to replace the cause with the effect. Then you get men obsessively chasing tail and women chasing Chad or settling to inevitably chase Chad later.

Purple_Tinted · 2017-02-09T19:25:03+00:00

"Hypergamy" is simply the propensity of females to mate with the fittest, genetically most adapted male and the tendency to avoid deleterious and unattractive (sexually/genetically repulsive) males.

While ultimately it's main function is to raise the likelihood of a female of having successful offsprings it also benefit a species as a whole, getting rid of deleterious traits and favoring beneficial ones.

Is it hated by men because it provokes insecurity or fear?

Yup.

From an evolutionary pov it makes sense that people dislike what is deleterious to their genetic survival (women's dislike of "creepy guys" for example). Likewise reproductively unfit guys would dislike the idea of hypergamy because it is a real threat to its (as an organism) genetic survival.

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-02-09T19:33:55+00:00

Hypergamy, as it was explained to me, is women leaving their current partner for a "better" one the moment the option presents itself. I think everyone has their own opinion how often this occurs and why.

I have a few issues with it. First, I disagree with the notion that any and every woman would do this if given the opportunity. That simply isn't true. I also take issue with the presumption that when it does happen, things were perfect before the new guy came along. I believe that when people leave their current relationship for a better partner, things were already falling apart in some way. I believe people get lazy and complacent in relationships and that just because one person is content with the status quo, that does not mean that everything's fine and perfect. I also believe there are self destructive people out there who panic and ruin a good thing, but it has nothing to do with the new guy being "better".

speltspelt · 2017-02-09T18:17:34+00:00

Hypergamy, assuming a slightly larger male population and slightly larger male variability, is just math.

I just generated some random numbers as an example 100 female/104 male, 5.5 mean, 2.5 standard deviation female/2.6 standard deviation (gets around 1-10, with a few outliers). The average difference between women in the top half and the men in the top half, assuming a 1:1 match where each guy picks the most attractive available woman is 0.3 in this dataset. The 'average' women in the 5s are picked by guys about .5 more attractive... the female 2s are ending up with lower quality guys, but TRP is hyperfocused on above average women.

Entropy-7 · 2017-02-09T21:23:18+00:00

I think Shakespeare caught a piece of it: ambition that over leaps itself. Women always want a better deal, a better man, and they will go for the wrong man if they think he is better.

drok007 · 2017-02-09T17:17:24+00:00

Nothing is wrong with it, it's female nature.

BPremium · 2017-02-09T17:22:32+00:00

Hypergamy is women wanting men better than them. It sucks because it shuts out good men in favor of assholes and degenerates.

But nobody is going to agree with me that its bad, because it serves womens imperative, and thats the only thing that matters

wtknight · 2017-02-09T17:58:54+00:00

I don't think men really hate hypergamy. I think they are just inconvenienced by it because it makes them work harder.

Koffing · 2017-02-09T17:15:02+00:00

Hypergamy is the reason my wife lives to serve me and ignores the existence of all other men. Personally, I'm a big fan of it. I think other dudes hate it because it doesn't give them a chance, but I feel like my chance was well earned.

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-02-09T17:33:22+00:00

I define hypergamy as:

The trait that women have that implores them to search for a mate that she believe is best for her, even if it may mean leaving her current mate.

It's not nearly as cold and destructive as some make it out to be, though there are examples of some women being cold and destructive.

If that makes sense.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-02-10T00:42:50+00:00

Hypergamy is women responding to leadership traits (ideally "honest signals" of leadership) consistently displayed in a man's behavior. The idea is that humans are roughly the same as we were 100,000 years ago, and the more boldly, authentically, and consistently a man displayed these traits, the higher up he was in the chain of leadership of a caveman tribe he was.

Not all men have the same amount of behaviors, and women climb up the social ranks by trading up for more and more of them, as many as they can get. This is hypergamy, aka social climbing.

Edit: there's nothing wrong with it. Anymore than there's something wrong with men liking round asses.

JERSEY_STUNNA · 2017-02-10T04:52:59+00:00

Hypergamy is effectively cheating. Love is two things: 1)A bond 2)A commitment

There is none of the latter in hypergamy. Not respecting commitment shows you lack an understanding of actual love, which is the only real point of relationships. Conditions on love start and end with toxicity - if you are chasing greener grass you will never be fulfilled or happy whatever you achieve. The entire western world has forgotten this simple and only effective approach to happiness and wholeness.

Social conditioning is the mindset of the majority and being a true representation of yourself means thinking critically and independently. Security in any relationship comes from knowing that your value is not being wasted: Friendships do not end because richer or more attractive friends become available, siblings do not find better brothers/sisters, parents do not abandon their children to be with other children and conversely we do not find children leaving their parents homes to be spoiled by the nest on the higher branch.

If the world followed this idea of hypergamy (and it well should considering the evolutionary benefit to having better resources for children, and having raised smarter, more attractive children leads to a better species) then Hitler's ideas never would have lost. Evolutionary benefit is not the only defining factor of human psychology, it is only what grabs a person's attention. Love is the strongest emotion any human can experience. Oxytocin is a very powerful neurotransmitter, and works for both good and evil purposes. The purposes are defined by the higher thinking and moral actions of the individual. Denial of human nature is part of human nature.

The simple truth is evolutionary psychology is deeply flawed as a method for understanding human nature. People who cite species improvement as a justification for hypergamy are simply finding excuses for their own selfishness. Something being scientifically supported does not mean morally right. Human nature has flexibility and depth and a great capacity for change. People who do not follow these ideas have never felt real love, never will, and live in insecurity. Someone interested in truly understanding human nature ought to study Neuroscience independently rather than letting their own cognitive biases lead their convictions.

Gender/Sex is irrelevant.

Wolfsouls · 2017-02-09T17:18:08+00:00

I would define it as the female instinct to select mates with superior genetics and social status (relative to themselves). It's an adaptation which ensures that each new generation of offspring will be more biologically fit than the preceding generation.

Is it hated by men because it provokes insecurity or fear?

Yes. They're unable to look beyond their own struggles to realize that hypergamy serves an important biological purpose. It's likely that humanity as we know it today wouldn't exist without it.

ilovemycat2 · 2017-02-10T00:01:50+00:00

Hypergamy is a ridiculously stupid idea perpetuated by sour men who barely know what they're talking about, but are mad about something that they can barely pin down. That's the definition.

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squidracer · 2017-02-09T17:34:00+00:00

Nothing really wrong with it unless you are in a marriage. However, men can trade up as well.

Funny how you shame men for having insecurity and fear. Many women also have insecurties as well, specially when she can't pull that divorce card.

alreadyredschool · 2017-02-09T19:45:44+00:00

Google rational male hypergamy that article should explain it.

There is nothing wrong with it.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-02-09T20:45:35+00:00

wrong for who?

For women, it's great. For game aware men, it's navigatable. For clueless guys? It's a potential nightmare

Five_Decades · 2017-02-09T20:54:55+00:00

The problem with hypergamy is that demand outstrips supply. If large swaths of women all think only 5% of men are good enough, then there aren't enough men for all the women.

This causes a lot of people to have unhappy endings. A lot of women end up alone and bitter, or they end up with men they resent because they feel they deserve better. Men feel left out or they have no desire to be a backup plan to a hypergamous woman. Or they end up with a woman who resents them.

It'd be like everyone wanting a job that pays six figures. Problem is barely 10% of jobs pay six figures, and a lot of people will end up unemployed or disappointed of they hold out for a six figure salary.

procrastinator789 · 2017-02-12T16:36:22+00:00

Hypergamy is the instinct to jump to a new/better lover/partner when the opportunity presents itself. A typical manifestation of hypergamy is serial monogamy.

There are two kinds of guys who dislike hypergamy, those who are aware of it and those who are not.

Men, aware of hypergamy, do not hate the hypergamous nature itself, they hate some of the morally questionable methods of execution and tactics used to satisfy the instinct.

Some examples of hypergamous behavior that men do not like are: - keeping around past lovers as friends, in case the current relationship doesn't work out. - cheating on your current partner with the man you are working on transitioning to.

Men, unaware of hypergamy, dislike it because they are blindsided by it.

Not all women are aware of their hypergamous instinct either. So when Tiffany said she loves Brad and wants to be exclusive and get married then she probably meant it. Tiffany doesn't know how tempted she would be if Chad becomes available a few years down the line. If Tiffany left Brad for Chad then of course Brad is going to be upset because that promise of commitment didn't mean anything.

There is nothing wrong with hypergamy. If men and women were educated about it then then men would have no issues with hypergamy. Men would be aware that serial monogamy is the preferred option for women, so men would just adapt.

IFuckingHateAllergy · 2017-02-09T17:53:38+00:00

There is nothing wrong with hypergamy at all. It's biological. It's only hated by men who does not belong in the top 20%. It doesn't take more than common sense to understand why. And to make things worse, there's a hyperinflation of female SMV due to demand and more often than not, a 6 female feels like they're an 8 entitled to a 9 male.

Skratt · 2017-02-09T17:20:06+00:00

[deleted]

jonah___ · 2017-02-09T17:17:23+00:00

Generally: Wikipedia

But I would expand that by saying: Hypergamy is the tendency of women to be attracted to men that rank highly in a dominance hierarchy or across dominance hierarchies.

Nothing wrong with it, that's just how it is.

Title	How do you define hypergamy, and what exactly is wrong with hypergamy?
Author	Boobear3
Upvotes	4
Comments	146
Date	February 9, 2017 5:04 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5t189a/how_do_you_define_hypergamy_and_what_exactly_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-define-hypergamy-and-what-exactly-is.270166 https://theredarchive.com/post/270166

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