How often do you see exceptions to hypergamy?

Doom_and-Gloom · 2018-04-14T23:40:29+00:00

I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a woman dating down in terms of looks. You especially see that with younger couples - where the girls come in all shapes and sizes, and the guys are all uniformly tall, fit, slim and handsome.

poppy_blu · 2018-04-15T02:15:22+00:00

Never.

Any presumed exception to hypergamy is always either misinterpreted or a case where a man makes up for his flaw of some X attribute with an abundance of some Y attribute.

Like I knew this girl back in college who was blonde, tall and quite attractive, and always stated she preferred shorter guys. For a while, since she was in the same business club as me, I thought she was a true exception.

Then, one day, she brought hey boyfriend to a club banquet, who was an immensely muscular, yet short black dude full of tattoos.

Pooch231 · 2018-04-14T22:45:32+00:00

I almost never see women dating up in looks unless it's an older couple in which case it's plausible that they were looksmatched when younger.

I also don't see women dating up financially unless they're dating down in looks by quite a bit or they're older and have children together.

OfSpock · 2018-04-15T00:02:17+00:00

Most people I know date across. One really good looking guy left his average looking gf for a similar looking woman eight years older than him.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-04-15T11:39:37+00:00

I see women dating down in looks all the time but I'm sure he has other attributes that make him more attractive to her or she just evaluates attraction differently to me, who knows? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that.

In terms of socioeconomic status it's more rigid, people tend to date within the same class.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-04-14T23:00:21+00:00

Statistically insignificant

[deleted] · 2018-04-15T02:59:01+00:00

Never. You always find out something later. I think the majority of the time I saw an 8 with a 6 it turned out his family were literally 1%ers. The only other time is when the girl is an introvert and the guy is an extreme extrovert that talks a big game and opens up social opportunities

Noxin__Nixon · 2018-04-15T15:30:18+00:00

All the time.

I'd say around 1/3 of all men and women are hypergamous or desire to be hypergamous. Which seems like a lot but the majority of people aren't.

sublimemongrel · 2018-04-15T00:08:05+00:00

Most women aren’t dating men above them in looks, the opposite is far more common.

Wrt “hypergamy” ie women dating up in status or money or both, I see plenty of exceptions although the reverse is much more common. I expect this trend to grow as more and more women are gaining status and better careers.

TheGreasyPole · 2018-04-14T22:30:53+00:00

I've seen/know of one glaring exception. And she seems to be quite happy.

But she's a very odd duck in a lot of ways. Not someone who you'd say is within the norms for her sex or culture in any way, really.

Bit of a gangsters moll.

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DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-04-15T14:34:45+00:00

Single moms, miserable marriages, divorced women

celincelin · 2018-04-15T14:51:07+00:00

All the time. It’s called settling.

BisquitBill · 2018-04-15T15:02:05+00:00

How often do you see exceptions to hypergamy?

mmm.... I dunno because I am too busy driving for work at 3 am and then working at the news paper office writing stories to notice anything about hypergamy.

KwesiJohnson · 2018-04-15T18:01:27+00:00

Its total bullshit as in an AWALT sense. There are counterexamples all around us, in all kinds of ways. In stories on the net, in my RL experiences. Just look at /r/deadbedrooms for an easiest example. Almost every second female there is some hyper/lowfunctional codependeny thing, meaning a fit, sexual, jobhaving woman sticking with some dysfunctional loser "because she loves him" or "for the kids". Just to be clear, in deadbedrooms sub you also have a lot of financially dependent stay at home types, putting up with their sexual dysfunctional men for the stability they provide. I mean where would you put those situations, seemingly prevalent enough to warrant a well-subscribed sub, on the "hypergamy" scale? Male, stable stoic provider, but seemingly incapable of fucking his wife? Yes, those are the extreme niche cases, but more balanced "normality" is similarly weird and defying simplistic models. You have those jokes like "he just lays good pipe", but in practice you really then have guys who are either good at sex, but suck at working/adulting and the other way around. Some guys have both, some have neither. And then a whole wealth of other axes. But just to stick in this simple one, "hypergamy" pretends that there is simple 1-10 "alpha-scale" and when you are higher on that you are both better at sex and at making money. It all seems like stupid pedantry here, but in practice thats why you always have those paradoxical mainstream-defying behaviours, while somehow there seems to be something to those mainstream models or complaints, from both feminist and masculinist side. Dialectics.

newName543456 · 2018-04-15T23:10:27+00:00

Conclusively - never. Because I never know full story for them. And when I do learn some details, they tend to make "exception" thing questionable at best.

1UPZ_ · 2018-04-16T08:43:27+00:00

Women dont date up much... they "sleep up" due to social apps and Tinder... Thirsty men are thirsty. But relationship wise? pretty women would "settle" for an average looking guy as long as he has good prospects (money)

quicklogaccount · 2018-04-16T12:30:55+00:00

Somewhat often actually.

A lot of career driven women I met eventually married or settled way lower than themselves, with men slightly worse looking and way lower career wise.
To my understanding, women that have a hard time bonding might end up like that, and the ones I met that "violate" the rule do it because they're insecure. They feel insecure if they're not in control and they feel out of control if their partners aren't fungible, easily replaceable.

DXBrigade · 2018-04-16T21:39:41+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy/ Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

30% of american women are marrying down; https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2015/11/19/what-percentage-of-us-wives-earn-more-than-their-husbands-infographic/#3a122125736e

throwaway20123444 · 2018-04-28T20:08:34+00:00

When ever I see an exception to this I see a girl who doesn't seem very happy, tbh.

WolfgangBreitweit · 2018-04-29T11:53:55+00:00

Lol! All the ugly ones do not try it! They rather poison the husband to get his retirement money and the life insurance.

Five_Decades · 2018-04-14T22:40:02+00:00

How is that possible? Hypergamy works because it is designed for polygamy.

In a monogamous culture how can all women date up?

Also because men in general earn more money than women that isn't surprising. Hypergamy is more about good genetics (average women chasing elite guys).

Jammerly1 · 2018-04-15T02:19:00+00:00

Steve Harvey has been telling black women to "Date down" to find a good man. Some of them bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Title	How often do you see exceptions to hypergamy?
Author	Hydroeletric_
Upvotes	6
Comments	98
Date	April 14, 2018 10:24 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8caz02/how_often_do_you_see_exceptions_to_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-often-do-you-see-exceptions-to-hypergamy.262863 https://theredarchive.com/post/262863

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