Male Hypergamy?

reluctantly_red · 2018-05-03T19:31:45+00:00

This midlife crisis stereotype seems to happen more on TV than IRL. The low number of divorces initiated by men attests to this. Furthermore, only really rich or unusually hot middle aged guys can get a hot 20 something (unless she has absurd daddy issues).

The more common male hypergamy (if you can call it that) is for a middle aged guy who gets kicked to the curb to go to the gym and generally get his shit together and then find a new age appropriate woman who is somewhat higher value than his ex. I'm currently working on this scenario (my new woman is few years younger than my ex, has a better education and better job, and is better looking too). Pretty 41yo MBA > formerly pretty 47yo social worker.

yasee · 2018-05-03T19:38:34+00:00

A man in his mid life crisis ditching his wife for some bimbo secretary half his age is a stereotype as old as time

this is basically what happened to my parents so I'd never argue that men don't trade up when something better comes along. However, I think the argument people are going to make in response to your post is that it's not about status with men, but about looks and since "hypergamy" is usually referring to moving on to someone of a higher social status then looks-based branch-swinging doesn't count

or something.

LewisCross · 2018-05-03T20:10:43+00:00

No. There is no such thing as male hypergamy.

Hypergamy as used in the manosphere/TRP means "am attracted only to those people who are more attractive than I am". And only women do this.

Men can be and are attracted to women more attractive, same level of attractiveness, and less attractive.

Women are attracted ONLY to men above them in SMV. Women are WILLING to have relationships with roughly equal men, but only if those men bring commitment and provisioning, and she secures it first. Women are never sexually attracted to men who are below them in SMV. (INb4 "But but but the broke garage band musician who gets more ass than a toilet seat!" He has high SMV because he's a musician in a band.)

Don't confuse "optimization" (which everyone, men and women both, do) with hypergamy (which only women do).

Optimization is just "I want the best". For men, "the best" is many times below their level. For women, "the best" is ALWAYS above their level. That's the difference.

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WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2018-05-03T20:01:16+00:00

What man doesn't want the best possible mate he can get? It's literally the only reasonable thing for anyone to want.

reasonable

Logic is not used to evaluate the best possible mate; it's usually feels.

pulsarkid · 2018-05-16T09:13:09+00:00

No.

Males are hooked on looks (surely), but they have an inherent biological drive toward polygamous lifestyles. They want the most, and the best in that order. Not the best and the most. This doesn't mean they can't be faithful in monogamous relationships, or excel in marriage etc. However, their biology is setup to keep spreading the seed. Case in point, a man will tire of his 10/10 partner, and bang the 8/10. A woman wouldn't consider this if her alpha was still plugged into her, unless she discovered he was unfaithful, or if she had a much smaller impulse to get a little beta into the gene pool after already giving her first born to the alpha. This is an exception however, and not the rule.

Women are driven to get the absolute best breeding material because they have to carry a baby for nine months, and survival of that offspring is PARAMOUNT. It's an incredibly strong drive for them, because their opportunity to have the best/healthiest offspring is a much narrower window than men. The modern context is just another outlier in this debate. No wants to raise a child that's short and weak if they could choose otherwise. Also, being alpha is inherently more attractive than beta, unless she's post wall and instead requires the steadiness of a beta to protect and provide for her offspring.

Not every woman will bag an alpha though. They play the game out, and take whatever fate allows them to have. Sometimes they will choose an extreme degree of confidence over height. Sometimes they will choose an extreme amount of wealth, over confidence. There's also alpha windowing, which is doing the holding pattern while they wait for something better. This is a strategy. Not all strategies win.

Regardless of the outcome, women are choosing for breeding material, but men are choosing for a tight fit and a nice ass. Similar yes, but not the same at all. Focus on the goals.

It's also important to remember that as a man becomes more alpha, the tendency for polygamous lifestyles increases. As a woman becomes less attractive the tendency for a hypergamous lifestyle decreases, although usually this is post wall behavior.

At peak biology men and women follow natural laws, until they are forced to bargain against their ideal desires. Or a really strong cultural controller hits them over the head.

Lastly, you can't understand the red pill unless you think rationally about all the components that fit into it, and weigh them as a whole. Don't lose site on relative comparisons. A 5/10 woman will be running hypergamy if she's surrounded by horny 6/10 males. Her choosiness increases depending on the inputs available. The environment has to be factored in.

p.s.

What's really interesting is the small degree of interest women have in acknowledging hypergamy. They don't call them solipsistic for nothing, and no this isn't because red pilling men are chauvinists. For some reason biology set women up not to acknowledge the game they play, and I don't judge them for that. Probably has something to do with having a psychological upper hand in their development, and how they had to outmaneuver men in times that were far more unpredictable than now.

I mean would you show your hand if it meant losing everything?

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-05-03T19:37:21+00:00

Every man wants the hottest youngest girl he can have. Male branch swinging is common place

Since the onus is on men to approach and pursue relationships, they basically go down the list from most preferred -> least preferred in choosing a partner, which ends with them being matched with their most-preferred woman with which they can have a stable relationship with.

So because the responsibility of pursuit is on men, they might as well start from the hottest and work their way down. Men will then pair with the most preferred woman which with a stable relationship is possible.

Whereas because women don't typically approach or pursue, they don't know if the one they have now is the best. The feeling of unknown that "maybe the guy they are currently with isn't the best they can get" is the driving force behind hypergamy.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-05-03T19:42:27+00:00

6/10 men will take a 6/10 woman, they won't hold out for a 9. 8/10 men will take 3 6/10 women at the same time. There's no biological need to do much better than yourself as a man there's just a minimum attraction threshold and then the desire to fuck everything over it. Branch swinging isn't anywhere near as common as banging the wife (assuming she stayed over the minimum attractiveness threshold) AND the hot secretary. Unless she got fat and saggy and unfuckable like I said.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-05-03T20:15:04+00:00

It's true that very attractive stunner sloots get exponentially more attention from men than average-looking women.

However that's not really similar to female hypergamy. While women literally cannot feel anything for an unremarkable man, an unremarkable woman can easily inspire arousal from men if she so chooses.

Female hypergamy is entitlement.

Female hypergamy makes the pool of potential partners shrink as a woman increases in status.

Male "hypergamy" does not lead to this.

An example of female hypergamy is a high-achieving career woman who wants a man of at least similar status. These are the women lamenting that "there are no good men left".

No such example for male "hypergamy" - because it does not lead to entitlement, it does not kill male desire for ordinary women

daveofmars · 2018-05-04T00:53:23+00:00

What man doesn't want the best possible mate he can get? It's literally the only reasonable thing for anyone to want.

Because men can get multiple women pregnant at the same time. Just because you've locked down the best mate you can get doesn't mean you can't Genghis Khan another few dozen children, which could potentially make a few hundred grandchildren. There's always a primal drive, buried deep in the subconscious, to spread our seed. It doesn't matter if those other women are 9's or 6's, and it doesn't matter if you have a solid 10 at home.

Now, we're all conditioned to pick one woman and stay with her, so we do our duty and remain monogamous, but if that social conditioning all went away and all we had to guide us are our primal drives then you'd get a small minority of men with harems of women and a large majority of men with nothing - that's not how you make a civilization. So, we make compromises.

Even with that conditioning, the default female fantasy is getting the CEO all to yourself while the default male fantasy is a harem.

I mean, seeing how you're re-framing male desire in terms of your own hypergamy, and that a men's desire is so foreign to you is evidence of how different the sexes are at the unconscious level.

Entropy-7 · 2018-05-04T07:43:11+00:00

Men take commitments seriously. Women are the first to ask for commitment and then the first to walk away from it (ie. divorce).

the statistics tell us married men are more likely to cheat on their wives than vice versa.

Hey, there is a crock of shit.

A man in his mid life crisis ditching his wife for some bimbo secretary half his age is a stereotype as old as time.

Stereotypes have some basis in reality but the fact is, most guys can't pull that off, even if they wanted to. But any woman who is not a hambeast (and then, even some of those) can exit a meaningful relationship and find a tryst.

"Trophy wives" have nothing to do with hypergamy. The guy is marrying down in terms of SES, intelligence and a whole lot of other things just to have a hot lay on tap and to let everyone know about it. The whole point of having a trophy wife is to show that there is no where farther up you can go, at least in terms of SMV.

Title	Male Hypergamy?
Author	Szymmy
Upvotes	5
Comments	72
Date	May 3, 2018 7:18 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8gsz3z/male_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/male-hypergamy.262647 https://theredarchive.com/post/262647

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