Regarding "Confidence", Personality, and Physical Attractiveness

wtknight · 2023-08-24T11:09:48+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

Correct-Warthog-9061 · 2023-08-24T05:22:23+00:00

Alot of women will admit that if your not their type, you won't even get a chance to show your personality gang. So initially its no.1

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-08-24T04:58:37+00:00

Confidence is born either out of positive reinforcement or high levels of delusion. Some people are just delusional and they can easily act confident, they don't even need to fake it. However, for most people it has to do with getting a lot of positive reinforcement, which in some small part can come from people consistently complimenting/flirting with you, but mostly it comes from repeated past success. Generally the more times you succeed the more confident you'll become.

FlightOfThePigs · 2023-08-24T03:57:51+00:00

Physical attractiveness can only reach a certain point for many guys. Your potential is limited by that. Personality and confidence can always be worked on. If you use dating apps, personality/confidence are pretty much non existent. I think there's a certain threshold of physical attractiveness a guy must reach to have options.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-08-24T10:44:31+00:00

When people say “personality” for men they basically just mean game/mouthpiece or as the kids say now “Rizz”

No_Length_6997 · 2023-08-24T19:30:32+00:00

I have always been really good looking but my success rate went WAY up when I started acting like it. I was always modest and humble and I got no bitches. Now I dress crazy, act like an arrogant jerk and it works. I get attention and opportunities I never did before. Both are good, but more than that BOTH ARE BEST.

Stergeary · 2023-08-25T22:32:04+00:00

I hate that people treat lack of confidence or insecurity or whatever else in men as if it's an internal failing; it is not. If the world constantly beats you down and shows you how unworthy you are, you are in no position to do internal work to generate confidence and assuredness out of thin air. Men need to actually DO stuff externally in order to bring about order internally. Going to a therapist can help, but by far that is a modality that suits women better, and men need more on top of just talking about their problems; they need to know how to go out and fix it, and red pill is one facet of how to fix your understanding of relationships.

Durmyyyy · 2023-08-24T05:28:05+00:00

Confidence is relative.

I go on stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people everyweek and dont worry about it but im told im not confident enough online lol.

Im also told to be competent or good at something and im one of the best in my area in a way.

What I do know is when im on stage I see women staring at everyone else but me because im not that good looking thats just the way it goes sometimes.

CountMandrake · 2023-08-24T22:40:31+00:00

Let me preface by saying, as a conventionally attractive, tall and buffed dude who's been "on and off" the top over the years, the difference is otorious even for me, when I'm at my best VS when I'm a bit off. It's actually night and day.

I have an extremely fast metabolism with very low bodyfat production, so if I'm not on diets, consuming extra proteins and calories, and hitting the gym at least 3/4 days a week, my weight can wear off pretty quick, and while I still mantain a good physique and body shape, I get skinny-ripped.

Basically, my body is awesome for hitting the gym, as I gain a lot of muscle easily and no fat at all (usually I'm below 9-10% without effort, unless I'm bulking) but it's not that good for doing nothing for months.

When I'm skinny I still can pull something. I'm extremely confident thou, very extroverted personality, and yeah, it's like I'm still 6.3', good looking, blue eyes, black hair...

But it's funny, because I need to put some effort in dating. It's not that simple as approaching a woman and start talking to her, grab her number and call it a day. I need to go on dates, I need to "wait" for it, and yeah... I need to think twice about what I'm going to say next, or what I'm going to do, or where I'm going to take this chick out...

Hell, you wouldn't believe it but going from 205 lbs jacked to 180 lbs makes a HUGE difference.

I actually had to change my Tinder picks last year because three women accused me of "catfishing". In all honestly, I didn't think I looked that much different from the pictures, I still had broad shoulders and back, slim waist, I still had my natural V-tapper look... Of course my arms looked a bit smaller, but it's not like I was in terrible shape you know... Hell, I had very visible eight packs and obliques.

So it's not like these women weren't open to keep dating me, but damn, "you look way more good looking in the profile" IS not a great compliment for the first date you know. It's off putting.

And then when the date was over I could tell the level of intrest wasn't really the same.

I guess I'm the one to blame tho, because as soon as I actualized my profile my matches went from 20 or so on a week to a lame 2 or 3, so yeah, probably I was stating at myself in front of the mirror on a way more positive light. My bad.

Then I start to lift hard again, I go back to 200-210 lbs, I take new pictures and booom, 50 something matches in the first week.

And honestly, this is why I prefer to put all my effort in the gym instead of putting it on my dates.

This is actually why I recomend ALL the dudes to hit the gym really hard, and to be honest, I used to be against roids and didn't recomend it to guys because I'm not going to recomend something I don't do myself you know (easy to say when you hit the genetic jackpot anyways) but hell, if you can't achieve the results, roid up dude, if you are having problems with dating then a cycle worths it.

Hitting the gym hardcore is basically THE BEST THING EVER a man can do for his dating life. It's actually a strategy on it's own.

I prefer to spend the whole week trainning and getting buffed and dieting, and then setting up 10 dates out of my 50 matches for the weekend, in which I know for sure whatever the fuck I do or say it's going to be more than welcomed from the girls just because I look good and they want to fuck me right away, than struggle to get one date on a good week with a mildly attractive girl who demands to be wooed and entertained, make me jump through hoops, and put out, may be, after two months of chasing her... If she doesn't ghosts me by the third date, or starts seing another dude.

Even the first interaction feels different. The first "hi, how are you? I'm X, nice to meet you". You can feel the vibe, the excitement, you can actually meassure her level of intrest. It's everywhere, the girls literally can't hide it. In two minutes you can get ALL THE DAMN SIGNALS, the hair playing, her eyes blinking, the eye contact, the big smile and the flirting, the physical contact, the legs changing position, her playing with her dress or pushing up her bra, the enthusiastic engaging in every convo and the crazy laugh at any lame joke you say...

In contrast, when I look just normal, I'm met with a lot less enthusiasm, a scanning look, eyes wandering around, checking some other dude that casually pass around us... And her face is buried on her phone before the minute five.

So yeah, effort in dates VS effort at the gym, I take the later.

I can go, train like a rat, feeling AWESOME, and then go fast-date putting 0 effort in getting to know someone, have a hook up or two every week and if the girl flakes then so be it. I can arrange another date next day.

That way, the result of my efforts stay with me, unlike when I put efforts on dates who go to nowhere.

Safinated · 2023-08-24T14:24:59+00:00

Or, you could just objectively understand that people just find lack of confidence, introversion, avoidance, negativity, timidity, bad hygiene, posture and presentation unattractive

I somehow was able to, and stopped being as unattractive

AutoModerator · 2023-08-24T03:43:45+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Creation_Soul · 2023-08-24T06:55:10+00:00

I think you are also missing something, people can be confident in other things, not just dating.

Basically, if you get a date and talk about one of your passions, that confidence and energy when talking gets transmitted to the person you are talking to.

Of course, the subject of your confidence and energy should also be relatable to your conversation partner: your (hypothetical) passion of collecting sex videos will most like result in a "EWWW" reaction, not admiration.

Title	Regarding "Confidence", Personality, and Physical Attractiveness
Author	masterofliquidswords
Upvotes	6
Comments	84
Date	August 24, 2023 3:43 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15zqgey/regarding_confidence_personality_and_physical/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/regarding-confidence-personality-and-physical.1229580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229580

Comments