~ archived since 2018 ~

So, why does being a badass works?

rus9384 · 2019-02-21T07:30:26+00:00

Ok, RP idea is that it is because you look alpha. There are many examples of when being a badass worked. E.g. when Feynman called a girl worse than a whore....

rus9384

February 21, 2019

0 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	So, why does being a badass works?
Author	rus9384
Upvotes	0
Comments	161
Date	February 21, 2019 7:30 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/at0clk/so_why_does_being_a_badass_works/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-why-does-being-a-badass-works.257086 https://theredarchive.com/post/257086

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[–]JezebeltheQueen5656Crushing males' ego since 19931 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I have a bf is most common shit test women use regardless they have a bf or not.

dayum, your entitlement to women's time and energy is off the charts.

it isnt a shit test, it is a rejection you seem not to be able to accept. i guess women are better off telling you to off yourself right there instead of the old useless "i have a bf' excuse. maybe then you will learn.

Most women are open to new interactions with other men even if they have a boyfriend and even if they are happy and sexually fullfiled

no, they are not. you sound like a narcissist who has zero respect for other people's boundaries. you sound unstable.

They still crave attention by a mysterious man and will be ready to go out with him if opportunity arises

this is only a fantasy. in reality, women want you to fck off. who put you in charge of what women want? get off your high horse, you narc.

It's what hypergamy is in a nutshell.

ah, yes, biotroots. now i know you are full of sh!t.

A woman is constantly looking for an upgrade.

women arent like males. stop projecting your ugly nature onto women.

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You do understand that the girls who say they have a boyfriend may...have a boyfriend? I prefer "soft nos" because when I've been more direct, I've gotten a lot of grief from guys for it. I'd really rather not go through all that, so I prefer to be polite. It's also a "Golden Rule" thing--I really would prefer to be let down gently myself, so that's how I treat those I let down.

I also think the Feynman story is a bizarre conflation of two separate phenomena--he thinks that managing to startle a girl who's used to scamming guys in pubs, and being direct with his date, are a.) the same thing, and b.) both disrespectful. It's not disrespectful to ask your date if she's interested in going home with you fairly early in the night. I would probably answer "let's go Dutch and see how the night pans out," but I wouldn't be offended.

I wouldn't take RP creative writing exercises as much of anything.

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I mean when they do not have bfs. I know they can.

I had an issue (when I was a noob) when a girl at first acted strangely, and when I asked her she said she has a bf. When I made a very stupid (like crap in pants) comment on her behaviour, she was offended (I did not want to offend) and desired a retribution for me. So, she blocked me (so I could not contact her) and asked my friend to meet and asked if he has a gf, and her bets were he would let me know about that. If she really had a bf... well, you know.

This was a tough lesson.

I understand the notion of politeness. However, a guy who persists is quite... well, either you have to be impolite or accept. If he's really ugly, you probably would choose first, but if that is an 'ok' (5+/10 or I dunno how girls rate guys, those dating apps rates look kinda fucked up) looking guy, you would go for second.

Yeah, asking a girl if she is for sex is not disrespectful. However, that girl for some reason decided to return to him after he showed he was very offended by her behaviour. Maybe she just felt guilty, who knows? But that guy giving advices seem to had different views.

[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat7 points8 points9 points 7 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

However, a guy who persists is quite... well, either you have to be impolite or accept. If he's really ugly, you probably would choose first, but if that is an 'ok' (5+/10 or I dunno how girls rate guys, those dating apps rates look kinda fucked up) looking guy, you would go for second.

I can only speak to my own experience, but when a guy is persistent after a polite letting-down, I become frightened of him. I'm more likely to block him than anything.

Also, regarding the dating app rating things, you'll see "the okCupid study" on here a lot, but nobody likes to mention that the women were still likely to message back and even meet up with guys they rated "below average" while guys were unlikely to message girls they rated anything but the highest. And given the cultural baggage around girls messaging guys first... make of it all what you will.

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All people like "badasses". Badasses are cool. They don't need to be reassured, they don't need to be motivated, they tend to be who they want without concern if it conforms to society, they have their own plan and don't tend to need support or encouragement getting it done...

But being a "badass"/alpha is just one single personality trait, and the other traits a person has can make this person either a positive or negative influence. The down side of being "badass" is you don't always remember to be considerate, you seek to please yourself first, you can stomach hurting people, you don't always avoid dangerous situations, you can accidentally (or deliberately!) drag other people into your problems...

Men and women tend to be attracted to "badasses", as friends or lovers. When you get a "good" one, they can be amazing fonts of encouragement -- they make awesome wingmen too, as they'll go right up to anyone and start a conversation, and then invite you along.

The attraction is to the positive sides of it (having someone in your life that's undaunted and brave). But, much like attractiveness for women, badassery doesn't actually make you any better of a person. There's just a "badass halo effect" where people think they're cool, but partly because of the assumptions they project onto them.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

The secret to "being a better version of yourself" is to spend time focusing on yourself. When you focus on yourself, you are not worried about what other people think of you, which allows you to pursue interests regardless of the social outcome.

This is what being "alpha"/badass means -- not being afraid of an outcome. RP has many, many ways of helping men find this place ("be the prize", have hobbies, go places, meet people, do things you can be proud of so that you learn how to have pride at all ect), but it all is just practice for young men to eventually learn how to do these things automatically. RP is not wrong. It just gets misinterpreted a lot, and many men forget that all of these things are components to a whole wider training regime, not the solution itself. There is no easy solution. It's a matter of re-learing better habits. You don't get fit by working out a single muscle, no matter how hard you work that single muscle.

But, hm, simply ask a girl to have sex if you buy her drinks and that works? She even agrees?

I have no idea what you're asking here. I'm way to picky to just cold-approach chicks at bars, and "asking a girl to have six if you buy her a drink" sounds cringey as fuck, so she probably will say no. That's not a very good deal. I did bang one girl that I was really vibing with at a party by just asking "wanna make out?" But we'd already begun to connect, so I'd gotten the feeling that it was in line with her sense of humor, so even if she said No we could laugh at it.

[–]rus9384Misanthrope[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Your last paragraph suggests you are not truly RPed. RP has many good advices, who argues? Be fit, talk to people, etc. But that is not RP thing, BP tells you that too. Do you really see BPers claiming "be a thinman or fat, never talk to girls first, etc. and you'll be succesful with girls"? What the fucking nonsense?

No, RP tells you about shit tests. Sure, "do you say that to every girl?" is not an attempt to distance from the guy. And girls like savvy and funny answers. I would not call that shit test though. A girl simply wants to respond somehow and does that. She does not think "Aha, let's test the guy!"

I agree with your last point, maybe. I did not test it. Feynman's youth times were different, maybe. That you don't pay for a girl in the view of BP would simply mean that you do not treat a girl like a prostitute and exchange your money for sex.

I treat the idea of shit tests as a misinterpretation of perseverance games. One example of such a game is when a stranger asks you for money and you don't want to give the money. One of you wins here.

[–]Gravel_RoadsJust a Pill0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Your last paragraph suggests you are not truly RPed.

I never claimed to be. As they say pretty often "RP is a toolbox". There are many tools in this box that I feel are useful -- especially putting names to tropes and behaviors that society often neglects referencing.

No, RP tells you about shit tests.

Sure. But a "shit test" is just another way of saying "flirting". It's teasing and banter. You "pass shit-tests" by demonstrating that you can handle (and dish bacK!) teasing and banter - aka, you can keep frame and not be so easily thrown off your feet by unexpected social interaction. This is directly in line with what I've said about alpha/badass mentalities -- you are focused on yourself and you don't care what other people think. The best response to 99% of all "shit tests" is to simply NGAF. This is what RP is trying to teach men. Banter/responding with flirting is just the easiest, most common way of demonstrating that you can not only take it, but also dish it out. Women "shit test", men "neg". If there's interest that comes from these, it turns into flirting.

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Eh pansexuality got popular in the queer communities mostly to be sensitive to the concept that gender is a spectrum instead of a dichotomy. For these communities, “bisexuality”, because of the suffix “bi”, meaning only two, isn’t inclusive to people who identify as non-binary (also referred to as NB, or “enby”,) as they don’t identify with either gender.

When I’m deep in the queer woods I’ll probably use a word like pansexual, because it most clearly describes my interest (I’ve hooked up with enbies before. I think gender-nonconformity can be pretty hot.)

But between you and me, I’m not really interested in cluttering up daily conversations with insistence that certain words have to be used when others get the job done. Here on PPD, some people are still struggling to explore how to even have a sexuality at all. Most people know what “bi” means. Few people know what “pan” means. So I use “bi” because it says practically the same thing (that I’m interested in more than just the opposite gender).

The queer kids are coming up with new words and concepts to describe their experiences every day. That’s awesome, there’s so much to explore once you shrug off interest in social conformity. But I’m in my 30’s and don’t need new words. But the kids should be allowed to have fun with language whether or not I participate.

(No jokes, sadly! I think more of them are thinking of like... satyrs when they think of “pan”. Drunken hedonists 🌈)

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Giving some excuse that likely won't be challenged is much easier than rejecting someone without a reason or even with your actual reason. If you say "no" without an explanation, people will ask for an explanation. Then, if you give your actual reason, they will try to challenge it or find some workaround. "I have a boyfriend" is a commonly accepted excuse that likely won't be challenged.

As for being a badass: It doesn't actually work that well. It's just that these stories are so surprising and funny that people enjoy telling them and reading or hearing about them. The guys who flirt in such a direct way get rejected a lot as well. They probably even get rejected more harshly, but then they can blame it on "being disrespectful". Just think about it: if you politely ask someone out and put yourself out there, and then get rejected, it hurts because it is a rejection of you as a person. However, if you say some dumb line or just directly ask her to sleep with you, it's not you as a person who got rejected, it's your dumb opening line.

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