Subtle signs a man isn't HVM

TheTwincessMaker · 2021-12-14T19:09:39+00:00

I understand video games being a yellow flag, but I agree with the other posters that it's a bit superficial to call it a red flag. I think it ranks with any other hobby that has a reputation for becoming an obsession, like with gearheads or musicians or hunters. Some men spend all of their time and money fixing up cars or buying new guitars or guns. That doesn't mean one project car or a few instruments or mounts are a red flag, however. If he can manage his time well, it doesn't much matter what his hobbies are, when I know for a fact that some of mine aren't super productive either, like reading. I would want him to have some productive hobbies, as well, though. My husband plays video games, but he likes to fish and work in the yard, too.

Some red flags for me were flakiness, making plans and canceling at the last minute, not having a stable job that made a reasonable living (a minimum of 40k in my part of the country) or being "between projects." Being in school or planning to get into a new field was a yellow flag, dependent on his progress. Anyone who wasn't close with their family presented a yellow flag also. On the other hand, I've known men who do everything with their families and that was a red flag, because it didn't seem like they had room in their lives for their own family and there were potentially mama's boy issues.

I also needed to know a man could do the things he might want his wife to do one day, by himself. That includes grocery shopping for real food, cooking, cleaning, putting things away. He didn't have to meet my standards, but he needed to show he was capable of caring for himself. If he was divorced, I also needed a reason.

DoppelGangHer88 · 2021-12-14T17:50:17+00:00

This is a very superficial list with no supporting evidence and isn't a good barometer for a valuable man.

In fact, this attitude turns a lot of men off because it's nagging and controlling; if a man is doing what he's supposed to do, his free time is just that - his.

I've been with my anime-loving husband who plays vidya and works on his own video game throughout the week for over a decade and he provides enough income to have me be a SAHM with two children in Silicone Valley.

This attitude seeks to disqualify quality men based on nothing but a elitist attitude. Not good advice for young women.

ikfl · 2021-12-14T17:44:42+00:00

Simply liking anime just seems like a silly thing to judge a man on. A man can have silly interests and still be a good provider, a loyal husband and father, sexy and attractive lover, fearless leader of his flock. Taking in a interest and blowing it up to the point that it makes him low value is in my opinion ridiculous. If he is obsessed and watches a ton of it, that’s a different problem.

Agreed with the gaming though.

Affectionate-Self440 · 2021-12-15T18:57:34+00:00

I totally agree with you. Anime/video games really is part of a certain culture and I don’t think it has anything to do with a hvm man. Anime is strange. It has weird characters and can be perverted. I don’t see how it encourages a family/marriage environment.

sophie_aa · 2021-12-14T18:30:31+00:00

Hard disagree.

If a man is a provider, loving, reliable, and a leader, then who am I to control what he gets to do in his free time? Now of course everything should be done in moderation, however your argument regarding playing video games excessively could easily be applied to activities like flipping through sports channels all day.

TallSwaggOVO · 2022-01-22T14:54:32+00:00

This list is very superficial.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but your type of thinking is a really big turn off for men. You sound slightly controlling.

So long as the man isn’t wasting his life away, doing these things on his off time doesn’t mean he’s a LVM. If he takes care of his work, takes care of his wife, and his responsibilities, then his hobbies can be whatever he wants.

RPsplainer · 2021-12-14T20:43:35+00:00

Meh. I don't really see those meaning anything without more context.

It's like saying a woman is low quality if she spends more than 4 hours on social media per week. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Can't tell just from that.

oldskoolflavor · 2021-12-14T17:50:41+00:00

Male here. Not liking anime or video games in no way constitutes alpha or hvm in a man. In fact, that shit has nothing to do with projecting hv behavior.

jonmarli · 2021-12-15T11:21:37+00:00

Lol, not me and my husband watching shounen animes every night before bed. 💀

Nandemodekiru · 2021-12-15T10:09:33+00:00

Sigh. Your experiences are not universal.

acgs1995 · 2021-12-14T18:06:58+00:00

I knew this would be controversial. However, as I stated, this is just my opinion and I said I could be wrong. I admit I can be wrong about this, but the way people are so ready to attack me is surprising. I don’t own the truth, neither does anyone else.

Sometimes I feel that one of the reasons this community doesn’t grow and evolve is because people are far too aggressive when they don’t agree on something.

I’m talking about my life experience, never said I was telling the universal truth about HVM. If your experience was different, then tell me about it so I can change my mind. Jesus Christ.

2021-12-14T19:39:14+00:00

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hipopper · 2021-12-15T04:01:15+00:00

New here… what is hvm?

Positive-Court · 2022-03-08T03:20:10+00:00

For anime, it can be enjoyable. It's high quality tv in short, 20 minute bursts. The content can be face palm worthy, as it's geared towards a Japanese audience. The perversion, I excuse as cultural differences. Just like kids here find bathroom jokes funny, kids there find anything related to sex funny.

Personally, I find it embarrassing, but I've always found bathroom jokes to be embarrassing too, so I ignore it. The plot can be fast moving, in depth, and suspenseful just like any tv show or movie.

It's also cheap. They are more productive ways to spend time, and I agree with the keeping it to a certain amount of time part, but I wouldn't find that offputting.

I enjoy it though. If you don't, than that pereon may not be right for you.

Title	Subtle signs a man isn't HVM
Author	acgs1995
Upvotes	4
Comments	47
Date	December 14, 2021 5:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/rgch26/subtle_signs_a_man_isnt_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/subtle-signs-a-man-isnt-hvm.1092465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092465

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