Working wives, how do you find time for cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. alongside working full time?

roserose91 · 2018-03-13T19:34:02+00:00

It’s not

Ariel125 · 2018-03-14T02:32:01+00:00

I make almost 6 figs so honestly it’s worth it to outsource domestic work. High earning men (as busy as me) eventually outsource oil changes, handy work, etc. as they get busier and their income grows, so why not me? Women try to kill themselves trying to be everything. There comes a time when a person realizes they are worth more per hour on paper and earning potential skyrockets by eliminating everyday tasks. So it’s all about what makes her happy then also can she afford to work? I like my career btw (most days lol)

LaRoudoudou · 2018-03-13T22:13:44+00:00

I don't think it's possible and I don't think it's fair to ask your wife to do this, either. I'm extremely red-pilled, have been before I ever found out there was a term for it, so I understand and totally agree that the home is the woman's domain. But I think it's only fair to ask the women to take care of the home if the man is providing for her :) If both people are working full time, splitting the bills, then I think they should split the housework too.

GreenTeaOnMyDesk · 2018-03-14T12:39:31+00:00

If you need your woman's help to earn, you should help her with the house.

EmiIy_Spinach · 2018-03-14T01:55:38+00:00

You can choose two: homemaker, mother, career woman. A woman of good character and work ethic can excel at two of those things simultaneously. Add in the third and even the most determined wife is going to fall down in at least one area.

My mother was a homemaker and stay at home mother. She never worked a day until my youngest brother left for college. She excelled at both.

My husband and I do not have or want children (a decision unrelated to my career.) I make it work by being extremely organized and only having my husband and myself to care for.

If you want a well kept home and properly raised children, working just isn't feasible. Even part-time jobs distract from the other two spheres.

whitebunny87 · 2018-03-14T08:40:23+00:00

As others have said, you can't do it all well. There's not enough time.

We both work full time, so I hire a cleaner to come by weekly, and I order all of our groceries to be delivered. When I cook, I usually make 3 or 4 times more than we need and freeze portions. That way if I'm working late there's always something healthy and home cooked that just needs to be heated up.

If you want a traditional household where she manages all of the cooking, cleaning and children then it is not reasonable to expect her to work full time as well.

PyjamaTime · 2018-03-14T10:48:06+00:00

It's not; you need to do your share.

theartnomad · 2018-03-13T19:42:28+00:00

I’m not a wife, but me and my SO live together.

We both work, so we also both look after our home. There aren’t any ‘manly’ tasks to be done around our flat regularly, so my SO contributes to cooking and cleaning, and whichever one of us has more time any given week will probably end up doing more around the house.

We don’t have children and we are quite tidy, so it’s never very messy in our place. We clean the whole house once a week and maybe vacuum once more and that’s it for big chores really. Only other things that need done are loading and emptying the dishwasher, washing up and wiping down the kitchen counters. The whole ordeal takes like 5 mins, so I usually do it before I get ready for bed.

In terms of cooking, I do a weekly meal plan and food shop on a Sunday for the following week. I cook majority of the time, but if I’m working late or have a late fitness class, my SO will cook. I send him an email with the meal plan to look at before I shop the ingredients, so he knows where each recipe is. I try to cook fresh every night, but if I know a busy week is coming up for both of us, I will prep 2-3 different freezer friendly recipes (chilli, spag Bol, different kinds of meatballs, anything in sauce really and also soup) that we can just defrost and heat up if there is no time to cook or we are on completely different schedules (like when SO is on night shifts) and have to eat at different times.

There is only 2 of us so there are maybe 2-4 loads of laundry to be done weekly. SO wears scrubs in work and I have a lot of clothes than can be washed in 40 degrees. I usually put a load on when I get home from work, go to the gym, and it’s ready to hang up to dry when I’m back.

If you have a bigger home or kids, it’ll probably take longer to look after and clean, and also with kids there is a lot more food to be prepped. It is not impossible, but will require a lot more planning and might eat up more out of work time than you or your wife might like. It also depends how much you normally help out - if she currently works part time and moves to working full time, she might not be able to upkeep cleaning, cooking etc to the same quality as before, and also have time left to spend with you. It depends whether you want to help her out, or if you’re willing to let some household things go - for example not always having a fresh meal, or not having a perfectly clean home at all times.

lSquaredD1 · 2018-03-14T06:59:12+00:00

Outsource... Pay Sunbasket to deliver food, a maid to clean, etc. Leave my day open to work on myself. Of course, this is easier when husband and I both have been lucky with employment and schooling.

viper8472 · 2018-03-14T10:56:01+00:00

Outsource the unskilled labor.

ladycheri · 2018-03-14T14:06:16+00:00

It's difficult. I work full-time and have a long commute, so my husband drops the kids at daycare and picks them up because he is more local.

I clean as I go. I keep the kitchen and our daily living spaces tidy. I do a quick vacuuming and wiping down of the surfaces that get a lot of use every day. On the weekends, I have a basic cleaning schedule and try to multi-task. For example, if it's time to clean the bathroom - I'll shower and do my thing and then clean the floors, toilet, counter, etc. on my way out. I can't do weekly deep cleans though. Lots of weekend laundry. It can be hard to manage when we also have weekend activities going on. I would do things completely differently if I had more time available. I'm more of a clean freak than my husband, so I do a lot of this because I want to. He has a much lower standard than me when it comes to the state of the house!

The area where I personally slack is cooking. The kids are fed and their lunches packed but me and my husband are kinda on our own. I either buy myself breakfast/lunch at work or grab something from the house. Dinners are super basic and depending on the day, mostly handled by my husband because he is home with the kids first.

Despite all the craziness, I think I do okay. I can't work/be a mom/housekeeper with 100% effort in each category though. There's a lot of multi-tasking and places where I/we cut corners but we're all okay with that.

It comes down to what you value the most and how you value you and your wife's time.

tempintheeastbay · 2018-03-20T17:00:02+00:00

Option A: You earn enough that your wife does not have to work full-time slash intensively and has the hours to devote keeping the household

Option B: You accept that a wife working 40+ hours a day needs help with household chores and you pitch in

Option C: One or both of you make enough money that almost all tasks are outsourced so remaining tasks are high-value/highly feminine (i.e. making decorating decisions and hosting dinner parties)

I think these are all feasible. What seems not feasible is

Option D: You both work full-time. She also handles all housework and child card. You bring in comparable incomes (i.e. you make $70K and she makes $55K).

air_conn · 2018-03-14T09:11:56+00:00

I'm not a working wife, but am a full time student at the university where my husband works, and go in to work with him every day. We're usually on campus by 7 30 each morning and home only after 5, sometimes even after 6. So neither of us is home more than the other.

I do prefer cooking food myself rather than us buying food on campus or eating out. We have also budgeted to get a cleaning lady once a week. Not eating out really helps with that. It saves a lot of money that we could then use to get someone to clean. Here is a general overview of what we do to keep up with the chores:

Saturdays I plan the week's meals and do shopping for that week. I have about 3 meals that feed us for the working week, and on weekends I make something simple like sandwiches or oven bake fish and chips. For example, this week we ate chicken salad (that I made on Sunday) for Monday's lunch, Monday's dinner, and Tuesday lunch. Tuesday dinner, Wednesday lunch and Wednesday dinner is a stew. Thursday lunch, Thursday dinner, Friday lunch is a soup. (just an example of a week's meal planning).

-Sundays: we prepare the food for the week. I don't make it all at once, but I chop up all the vegetables and put them in baggies labelled for which meal it is. On Sunday evening, I make one meal/recipe (which equals 6 bowls of food) that we eat on Monday for lunch and dinner, and Tuesday for lunch (this week that was the salad.)

-Monday: Monday's food is already made, so we might wash some dishes if we feel up to it. I usually just wash what I need to make the next batch of food (pressure cooker and a few bowls)

-Tuesday: Tuesday's lunch was already made on Sunday. Tuesday evening I'll toss the meat and vegetables that we chopped on Sunday into the pressure cooker and make a stew for the next day and a half. Tuesday's dinner is the stew.

-Wednesday: Wednesday's meals were made Tuesday night. Cleaning lady comes! She cleans the whole house while we're at work. She also does all of the washing. Wednesday night I make soup for Thursday's lunch and dinner and Friday's lunch. We already chopped the veggies on Sunday, so all I have to do is toss them into the pressure cooker.

-Thursday: I don't have to cook again. I might wash a few dishes if a feel up to it.

-Friday: lunch is soup made on Wednesday, dinner is a quick toasted sandwich or ovenbake something.

-Saturday: repeat the whole process. Sometimes we do dishes on Saturday too. I ask my husband to help rinse and pack the dishes while I wash, but mostly just because I like having him there with me.

I might make a cooked meal that can only feed us once on Saturday and Sunday, depending on how tired I am from the week. Otherwise, if I'm tired, we eat quick meals. I'm planning on buying more tupperware soon so that I can make more than a day and a half's worth of meals at once. I would like to have more variety in what we eat in a single day.

Edit: also, even if you do work longer than she does, be willing to help her, even if it's just with little things. One of the best things my husband did for me while we were settling into the new routine and before we started getting the cleaning lady more consistently, he would wake up a little earlier and wash a couple of dishes while I was getting ready. I would then be able to pack our lunches and iron his clothes while he gets ready without worrying about the dishes. I didn't ask him to, and he did it even when I told him I would do it that evening. But he knew I'd be too tired to do it at night, so he did it anyway.

Spider_Gwen_Stacy · 2018-03-17T05:16:22+00:00

I am a little late to the party, but here ya go. Because it's better financially both my husband and I are full time. I cook, clean, yada yada. I like to have the place presentable by the time he gets home.

My trick is that I get home anywhere from 3 to 7 or 8 hours earlier than him. This gives me enough time to nap, relax and recharge, and do those things. I prefer working at 2 or 3 in the morning, but if she doesn't then that'd be a big sacrifice for her. Honestly unless she is home well before you it'd be nearly impossible. as others have said.

WonderfulandValuable · 2018-03-18T18:54:03+00:00

I think it is a matter of priorities. Does everything need to be always spotless? Do you need every single piece of clothes everyday? Most likely no. I was taught to look after everything I use and put it back. I regard it as common curtesy to the person who has to keep the house. My H thinks like this too and takes care of his "footprint". Maybe this is something you can do as well.

dammit_joyce · 2018-03-20T18:50:12+00:00

I work full time, keep a clean home, cook all our meals from scratch, bake homemade bread, and take care of our 3 year old and 10 month old. My husband adds salt to the well because I can’t lift the bags. We pay to have the lawn mowed. Everything else is me.

The caveat is that I work 40 hours a week but I do so remotely from our household and I make a little less than I would in office.

CanadianWhatever · 2018-03-23T00:55:43+00:00

Don't sit down. No screens until you're done or unless you can use the screens while you are doing other things.

I work, care for 4 kids, maintain the house, ec.., but I do receive help. He will help tidy up after dinner, will cook some nights, and will help with our youngest if I need a break.

I'm running on empty, though. I could definitely use more help. From 6:30 am until 11 pm, I am in go-mode! So it is doable, it's just not very practical.

maya_elena2 · 2018-04-06T03:15:52+00:00

You'll probably need to compromise on things (polished silver) - sorry if you're a neat freak - and outsource some, as described below. In my house, it's mostly the compromising. It's a bit chaotic.

If that answer doesn't satisfy you, I'd consider factors such as -whether you have kids, how large your space is, how much stuff you have, how many nooks and crannies there are, how dusty it gets, what labor-saving appliances you have.

A 1-bedroom for two, designed in the style of clutter-free IKEA ("we own four plates, ten books, and two pairs of shoes each!"), shouldn't be a problem, especially if you have a dishwasher and a washing machine in-unit.

A house full of knickknacks, ornate furniture, toys, clothes, etc. is much more of a burden. An apartment with no washer/dryer or dishwasher in-unit instantly increases laundry time and post-cooking cleanup time.

If you're looking to make cleaning more efficient, there's a book called "Is There Life After Housecleaning?", which has a bunch of tips and tricks for reducing cleaning time, cleaning effectively, and designing to reduce cleaning burden. Of course, it's targeted towards SAHMs, but it's helpful.

AdOne6999 · 2024-06-07T03:29:11+00:00

I mean I want to say it you feel expected to the run for the hills. I made the mistake of not seeing the GIANT red flag. I spend all my time cooking cleaning, working Weekends Weekdays I have some free time of course cuz it's just two of us Sure my husband takes out the garbage and recycling sometimes Does dishes once in a while. Never cooks

Run Run as fast as you can. If you're asking this question you've already got Stockholm syndrome

For the love of God. Run.

Title	Working wives, how do you find time for cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. alongside working full time?
Author	lndiasag
Upvotes	17
Comments	39
Date	March 13, 2018 7:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/846t2n/working_wives_how_do_you_find_time_for_cooking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/working-wives-how-do-you-find-time-for-cooking.208570 https://theredarchive.com/post/208570

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