~ archived since 2018 ~

Go. To. The. Gym.

May 12, 2022

hi RPW; I am new to this sub. I actually just discovered it last night while doing some research 😂 but I feel like a lot of the topics on here resonate with me. Not going to get into the details of what exactly but I did want to share something on here.

If you feel like your relationship needs a refresher, I’m going to suggest that you go to the gym. Or just go to the gym if you’re trying to find a new HVM. I’ve been with my man for years now, but recently I’ve been going to the gym and excelling past previous progress I’ve made (was stuck in and off and on cycle for foreverrrr but Im finally making serious progress!), and my man is really obsessed with me. Like obsessed like never before. Our relationship has always been good, but I feel like since I’ve been improving my body, he treats me differently. He puts up with more from me (im latina so ill put the disclaimer im a little spicy n crazy ok), is more thoughtful, and just treats me like I’m a treasure. Its crazy that just improving your body can make a man more thoughtful emotionally as well. Men are visual creatures, so it only makes sense that improving your appearance is going to end up with them all over you. Just wanted to share this tidbit with you all - pretty (/sexy?) privilege is real! 😂

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Post Information
Title Go. To. The. Gym.
Author inthacut12
Upvotes 171
Comments 44
Date May 12, 2022 4:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]dadudenines 49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point. I met a female LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) who seemed to think we need only discuss feelings. I had to inform her, a lot of times both people should get a full physical and probably hit the gym first and see how things might change... Not something I've ever seen relationship therapists ever suggest.

Men are primed to respond to you physically, they cannot control it. Your physicality is a proxy for your fertility and signals to them to invest. They can get some "wife goggles" over time for sure, but maintaining your appearance is going to keep his primal instincts sharp and motivate him far more.

How you take care of yourself really puts a ceiling on how well you can take care of your relationship.

[–]CigarettesandAsh 63 points64 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Definitely. And to add on to that, LIFT! Cardio is great, but body composition changes are going to come from adding muscle. A 125-lb cardio bunny is going to look a lot different than a 125-lb women who has put on a bit of muscle. The thing about building muscle is that you're going to have to put on weight to do it, and that thought is terrifying for a lot of women (myself included) but it's important not only for looking good, but for general health as well.

[–]inthacut12[S] 27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Yes!! I just realized I should’ve specified, but I was talking about lifting, I am naturally skinny so just doing cardio definitely won’t help me😅 The putting on weight thing is definitely a little intimidating at first, especially when you’re bulking for muscle, but I’ll take a little bit of tummy pudge for a bigger butt!! 🤣 If you choose to gain slowly you’re also much less prone to put on fat vs heavy bulking!

[–]CigarettesandAsh 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know what's up!

[–]amadexodus 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is absolutely true. This time last year, I lifted primarily to supplement the running/cycling I was doing to train for a couple of races. Today, I have more muscle on my body and can lift heavier and with better form. Granted, I weigh more because of it and am a little less lean, but my boyfriend is proud of how much I can lift!

Also....he loves my booty. Like, I don't think he cares that my breasts have been getting smaller so long as there's more booty to play with. It makes the struggle-busing with a heavy squat or set of hip thrusts so, SO worth it.

I'll also add as a former overweight person with poor physical fitness, getting some muscle on your body and eating right will do WONDERS for your sex appeal. My romantic prospects became far less bleak once I started taking good care of my body (shocker!).

[–]inthacut12[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Muscle weighs more than fat, so it’s normal to be a little heavier! And oh for sure, it’s more than worth it!! Whenever I’m lacking motivation I just need to look at my before and afters and I’m ready to turn up😆 and glad to hear you’ve made great progress sis!!

[–]yollim 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t diss the tummy pudge! Boob and butt guys begone. A healthy midriff is THE most attractive part of a woman!

[–]ManhattanT5 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't have to bulk/cut IMO. Intermittent fasting (with spaced out protein in your eating window) mixed with lifting in the hypertrophic rep range will get the results you're looking for. I've also seen multiple women say a bulk/cut cycle made their breasts saggy.

Whatever maintains your motivation is better than nothing though.

[–]Rock_Granite 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Love this. My wife and I have been married 35 years, but we just started lifting 6 years ago. Her body is just killer now after the work she's put in. We both look so much better. We were never really fat, but not really muscular and tight. Now it's like a virtuous circle. The better she looks the more I'm into her. The better I look, the more she's into me.

[–]NuclearTheology 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The gym is fantastic for giving people with mental Health and self image issues a fighting chance.

[–]golden_eyed_cat 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree! The best way to improve your self-esteem is through self-improvement.

[–]TheBunk_TB 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Without breaking the rules of this subreddit; many guys I know appreciate a woman that actually gets something done at the gym.

Taking care of yourself isn't bad. Even if a guy doesn't have the heat for you, he would at least have some respect for you compared to someone that neglects themselves, then expects it to be handed to them.

[–]SecretFeminine 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

At first I was bent out of shape about your post but as someone who has hit the gym hard over the last 6 months, I can’t deny the truth of it (at least in my marriage).

[–]maraney 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exercise has been shown to be beneficial for libido, as well. This is extremely important in marriage, especially years down the road.

[–]MyMeanBunny 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

How do you find the will to just go? :( I'm in a long term relationship and I KNOW i should be hitting the gym to just have an hour walk even but I never do. I'm latina too and can sense my partner isn't as obsessed with me as he once was.

[–]SRaeM92 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You just go even when you don’t. Motivation gets you started, but commitment is what is the glue. You don’t just stop going to work because you’re not excited about your new job anymore, do you? No, you go because it’s a standard that you have for yourself. Your standard is to go to work and not be a homeless person even when you don’t FEEL like going to work. And even if you get to the gym and all you do is go on the treadmill, that’s fine!!! The only BAD workout is one you didn’t do at all. You’re WORTH IT!!!!

[–]inthacut12[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly I love looking at other fitness girls for inspiration. I just look at them and tell myself that I need to put in work if I wanna walk around like that😭 plus the results are addicting once they start!! The hardest thing is staying consistent but it’s just something you have to learn as you go!

[–]Immediate-Curve-0407 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get a trainer or find a gym buddy. There are going to be days where you don’t want to go but if you push through, you’ll start seeing results.

[–]amhran_oiche 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

honestly the key isn't "the gym" it's whatever exercise you look forward to doing. I will never step foot in a gym but I love barre3 and biking. if walking on a treadmill doesn't sound fulfilling, consider finding a designated trail or path in your area.

[–]coucoulavie 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do it at home ?

[–]golden_eyed_cat 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my opinion, the best way to motivate yourself to go to the gym and work out, is to promise yourself to get there and do one exercise. Once you start it, chances are that you'll finish your whole workout.

[–]amarapalmer 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes this is 100% true. Most women give up after a while. Very very good advice.

[–]Ilovestrawberri19 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love the gym ! I started going at like 6:00-8:00am, 6 days every week earlier this year since my school’s gym is like a 20 minute walk.

But I also wanted to ask, what can a person do if they don’t have a nice fat distribution/bone structure to begin with? I feel like I’m kind of screwed and it seems like most women look great with toning since they have minimal curves (at minimum) and can’t relate to me. So it can be very demotivating at times. I worry that I look masculine because I have broad shoulders, small boobs, and small hips. I could get a boob job to help with that but I’m a poor undergrad right now.

[–]inthacut12[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s awesome!! And tbh I have a subtly larger than average ribcage & I have like no hips at all genetically. I mean it’s not like ‘inverted’, I just don’t have wide hips, theyre like normal. But working out & building my lower body (especially my quads & glutes) has made it start to look like I have them, it’s strange to type out but it really does look like it!

Growing my lower body has made my ribcage look smaller, since it’s like an illusion of comparison kind of thing, so maybe the same could go for your upper body! If anything you would have even more of an hourglass shape!

[–]alien_eater289 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This has been my experience as well 😅

[–]Mystic_Submissive 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's amazing.

Me and my spouse don't exactly go to the gym but we have dumbbells and mat at home and train minimum 4 days a week. It's really good. Some days are easy, some are harder, but step by step the process is to be enjoyed.

He works out for longer time. I started regularly working out almost one year ago.

Here is a gym motivational video from YouTube.

[–]emmalai852 Stars 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

mine doesn't want me to go to the gym, but we do physical things together. I think being active, feeling good, and being healthy are very attractive, I think the gym is just one tool to achieve that goal.

Side note : I'm not strong and have no intention of lifting or doing things to build a lot of muscle. He likes me softer. as long as I can lift a saddle onto a horse and do the basic things in life I want, I don't feel the need to change my frame.

[–]inthacut12[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Absolutely! Whatever tool works, just getting more fit in general can change the energy in a relationship positively!

And all men have different preferences, so if you’re gearing towards what your man likes, same thing applies! mine loves ass lets just say that🤣 so that’s why lifting is best for me but it could be anything else for any relationship!

[–]ignorantslut135 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad you said this. I don't lift. I could never get into it. Like, I would do it for a few weeks at a time but couldn't keep it up consistently. I do dance though, and that I've done consistently my entire life with only a very short break here and there.

I've (fairly) recently discovered barre and I've seen definite changes in my muscle definition. I wish I'd known sooner that there were alternatives to lifting, but it seems there is a definite "lifting is the only way!!!" attitude these days. Anyway, that's slightly off topic I guess, but like you said, whatever works for each individual!

[–]SRaeM92 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hahaha your Latina part made me chuckle. Love this and approve this message. It’s such a beautiful cycle to feel good biologically, and then to have that validation reignite from your partner is SO empowering!!! Yas, girl, yas!!! Wish we could lift together! 🏋🏻‍♀️

[–]LadySandcastle 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know this is focused on lifting, and the benefits it provides to body composition are wonderful. I just want to throw it out there that cardio is great too. If you need to burn fat cardio is your best bet (yes you can lift and adding muscle will help your body burn more calories overtime but it takes much longer to achieve results). It isn't as hard on your joints, and really helps your stamina (running after kids takes a lot I'm sure lol).

I mostly do cardio to keep my weight in check and to keep my asthma at bay. The rest is bodyweight exercises/bands/small dumbells and I feel great.

[–]dorian1356 -3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Claro si una mujer lo dice no pasa nada. Pero dios me proteja si yo, un varón, tengo la osadía de decirles que mejorar la apariencia física resuelve como 90% de cualquier problema de atracción 😂

[–]coucoulavie 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Si te piden tu opinion ten la osadia de decirlo querido, que para eso estamos también

[–]dorian1356 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Por algo me hicieron downvotes en mi comentario donde dije exactamente lo que la chica dijo en el post. Menos mal no lo escribí en inglés porque me crucifican. No entiendo por qué son así. Tienen algo en contra de que lo diga un hombre por alguna razón. Pero si lo dice una mujer es celebrado. Me gustaría saber que piensa OP u/inthacut12 de eso.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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