Innocence

DreamBoatGuy25 · 2015-08-21T06:12:35+00:00

because the tone seems like they see it as weird or a negative

It depends on what we're looking for at the time. The generally accepted standard is that "sweet, innocent, good girls" are better for LTR's and girls who are the opposite are better for hook ups.

So, perhaps you're dating guys who are looking for a quick bang. In which case you being more along the lines of LTR material just needlessly complicates their plans.

StingrayVC · 2015-08-21T11:29:33+00:00

Try looking at it from a guy's perspective and not your own. I think you are hearing some tone where there isn't any

or

these guys are looking for sex and not a LTR.

TheTerrorSquad · 2015-08-21T06:10:41+00:00

What would you rather they were saying?

freebumblebee · 2015-08-21T14:59:27+00:00

It definitely sucks hearing an insult disguised as a compliment, which is how it sounds like those guys are using those words. It sounds like they'd rather have a hook up and sense you aren't down. Maybe they're saying it to get you to prove them wrong, maybe they're just disappointed. Either way, let it roll off. Those are all pros for a LTR and cons for a hook up, a fling, anything 'casual.'

Generally speaking, I like being those things. My boyfriend calls me sweet and means it, which I love, and though he laughs when others call me innocent or a 'good girl' (we have a pretty filthy sex life), it's definitely how I come across. Which again, is good. I spent a period wishing I was like the super hot girls he might look at in porn...until he explained to me he'd love to hook up with one, but would much rather be with a girl like me. My point is don't try to change yourself to be what you think they want. Keep being you, because they're not offering what you're after if they see all that as a bad thing.

HotSauceHigh · 2015-08-21T05:53:43+00:00

You're dating the wrong guys or guys who are too young.

Katniss_Granger · 2015-08-21T15:37:12+00:00

I do but I've never taken it as a negative, I certainly don't see it as one, it usually seems to be endearing.

The negative version would be "frigid."

dalls18 · 2015-08-21T17:11:52+00:00

I would get this a lot too followed by like a questioning glance in my direction. I'd get it from guys and even friends too, and I always felt like they wanted me to explain or counter their statement. It definitely is better though, they will take you more seriously when you say you are looking for a ltr and not hookup.

calibleu · 2015-08-21T22:21:55+00:00

If a man sees your values as a negative, then he isn't right for you.

abetterarsonist · 2015-08-22T14:39:44+00:00

I like innocence/goodness/sweetness in a woman. It's so rare though that I can imagine my voice betraying a sense of the rarity if I were to tell someone they had those qualities.

edit: also, my life has been enough of a trainwreck that most sweet/innocent girls would probably think twice before dating me, so there'd be a bittersweet irony in the statement as well.

2nd edit: I guess I'm realizing that it's probably something like this: they're attracted to your innocence while realizing it disqualifies them in their own minds somewhat because of their own non-innocence, whether real or imagined.

Coolbeans024ptf · 2015-08-21T15:17:32+00:00

It's a good thing, don't worry about it but also don't let that pressure you into doing things you don't want to do.

littleteafox · 2015-08-21T19:22:24+00:00

I get these comments, too. It usually doesn't bother me.. but there are some times where I wish I had more of a sexy/sensual vibe rather than a "cute" or innocent vibe. I look younger than I am, too, which just adds to it.

I've never thought that they meant it as a negative, though. I guess it depends on tone. I could see them seeing it as "weird" in a I'm-not-used-to-this way, but that is not a bad thing either!

redditmoose · 2015-08-26T03:15:53+00:00

If a man is pursuing you, it's for sex.

If he pretends he's pursuing you for any other reason, he's not pursuing you, or he's lying.

Red Pill men are going to be direct, fast, and abrupt about it. If you put off sex short-term to signal you are looking for commitment, you're not an easy plate and the extra effort isn't worth it for a guy well above your SMV, but it does say "I'm worth more" sometimes. If you put it off long-term waiting for commitment, then the only men who will stay are orbiters.

Most women will naturally know the right time and if it's worth it after a bit of experience.

Also, it's a risk to get what you want. You ultimately either take it or you don't.

I have nothing else to say.

prettylittledictator · 2015-08-22T03:12:02+00:00

I don't mind it actually but it annoys me if they repeat themselves a lot about it.

Okay, got it. I'm a good woman now let's focus on other things.

itsnadya101 · 2015-08-23T17:49:08+00:00

I think it's better to err on the side of innocence. You really don't want to become the super sexy vixen type who men use to pump and dumb because that reputation is unrecoverable from.

I've been called "innocent" because I don't really enjoy big parties or heavy drinking but that's not a bad thing at all.

These guys are putting you on a shelf (aka you're LTR material) and soon enough, you'll find someone who is looking for the same thing.

ZingMaster · 2015-08-25T22:35:58+00:00

Are you confident that it is said in a negative tone? My SO said the same of me in the beginning, but he was intending for his tone to demonstrate how endearing the quality was to him.

Title	Innocence
Author	annakarenina16
Upvotes	10
Comments	34
Date	August 21, 2015 4:12 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3ht4rh/innocence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/innocence.85540 https://theredarchive.com/post/85540

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