Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.

Jenneapolis · 2024-04-18T16:17:08+00:00

This is the taxi cab theory from sex in the city. When his light is on, he’s open and whoever gets in next is the chosen one.

I don’t agree it’s this black-and-white, obviously men have standards and are not going to be just looking for anybody. But I do believe for many men there comes a time when they “turn their light on” and if a good woman enters their realm during that time, they are more likely to commit to her than they would have been maybe years earlier. But to say it doesn’t matter at all how attractive you are, how good of a partner you are, is definitely not true - what is true is being those things alone is not going to convince a guy to commit who’s not ready.

RedPillDad · 2024-04-18T13:22:23+00:00

Who are the men who don't want to commit?

The player ponies on the carousel that so many women want to ride.
The ones who play around until they find a keeper.
The ones who stopped trying (MGTOW).

Who are the men ready to commit?

The young, inexperienced ones.
The old, established ones who still believe in love.
The desperate, lonely ones who most women ignore.
The traditional ones.
The relationship-oriented ones.

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-04-18T15:53:22+00:00

I think what you're getting at is that women can't control a man - there's no magic formula that will surely make someone commit. It has to be his decision at the end of the day, and some men decide they don't want to ever commit to anyone. This is true. Roughly speaking, female strategies can be divided into two categories:

A. Locating men who are already ready to commit and looking for the right girl right now, and then vetting for desirability

B. Locating desirable men, and then vetting for interest in committing once she has put forward her best

These days you'll see more EC's (such as myself) pushing for the former, but there's a lot of older post material for the latter.

However, coming from social media, it's likely the original poster intended this to be part of the "men will marry anyone who is available when they want to get married" idea which... is just plain inaccurate.

Actual-Ad-4910 · 2024-04-18T14:58:35+00:00

I think this goes for everyone, men and women. Everyone will commit when they’re ready, unless they meet someone really special.

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-04-18T15:47:45+00:00

I disagree. Men are not stupid. I highly doubt they are evaluating these women thinking that the current one is half as good as a previous relationship and choosing to settle down anyway. They'd have to be desperate to settle down for this to make sense - not just ready.

We shouldn't try to change a man's mind if he's adamant on his marriage timeline and it's incompatible with our own. However, I think most people operate under the "if I find the right one, I'd commit" assumption. I guarantee you my husband wasn't looking to marry at 20 years old, but he proposed anyway, because he was open to marriage and thought I was the one to do it with.

CountTheBees · 2024-04-19T10:00:07+00:00

My partner never expected/wanted to have a relationship or have children again, at his age, and then he met me. At the very beginning he even said I needed to find another man if I wanted children because he wasn't at that stage in life and already had a child and couldn't do it again. I chose to stay with him anyway because he was very special to me. Now he wants children with me.

I think for every example you'll see of men not committing for various reasons, you'll also another example of a man committing despite those same exact reasons.

Men are the same as women... They'll break rules for women that they find very special. In the same way a woman might have a "no sex before three months" rule and break it for the right man, a man might have a "no marriage/no serious commitments" rule that he will break for the right woman.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-04-18T11:55:30+00:00

I think this dumbs down the idea of men in general to think this way.

For a man marriage is not the same thing it is for a woman. For a woman marriage is mostly security, for a man marriage is mostly responsibility. I think there are many factors that go into whether a man would marry a woman or not beyond just whether they’re “ready”.

But I do agree that a man will not marry a woman if he is not ready.

Shot_Performance_180 · 2024-04-18T21:59:41+00:00

I think this isn’t true! Many women are trying to get men to commit to them who are out of their league. A man who’s scared to lose you is going to commit.

AnonTheGreat01 · 2024-04-19T07:09:35+00:00

Being 'ready' for a man comes down to:

Does he think of marriage as a good deal for him
Does he have enough savings/income to sustain a household
Is there a woman in his life who he thinks of as marriage material

So if he doesn't want to marry you:

He thinks marriage is a shitty deal for him
He doesn't think he is financially ready to sustain a household
Thinks the woman is recreational use only

Everything else is cope.

It's up to the woman to figure out his answers to these questions. If you're somewhat intelligent, it's not that hard.

NerdyOwlTX · 2024-04-19T03:58:58+00:00

I'm unsure if I subscribe to said theory but I have known friends who married someone and still talk about "the one who got away" which I find odd. Marriage isn't a requirement.

wifelifebelike · 2024-04-18T12:41:42+00:00

This is cope women tell themselves to feel better when they don't get "picked."

Kwassadin · 2024-04-18T12:50:12+00:00

Being a man, it was once unclear to me.

Yes, girl and her state don't matter if I'm not in position to commit. I think it's universal for all men. Being in this state depends on many factors.

Handling relationships in this state is more individual. Some will take a 'loan' from their future self, or make a 'bet' (on themselves - which is pretty common, who better to bet on than yourself, after all, if things go sideways, we're fucked anyway, can at least say we were 'trying' ). These moves are speculative and can often result in a failed relationship. When the payments are not being made regularly, the interests compound and the debt gets bigger.

Me being on the more cautious side, I'd rather low ball a relationship than take a relationship loan.

Some men are more optimistic or dare I say like the gamble. They will love big risky investments. I guess it's your job ladies, to determine the type of investor and his strategy, and then decide if you see him pulling it off. Failing to do so while investing in that man because 'he committed', has negative expected value. Meaning you will probably have to work for him to pay off his loan to you, which is hilarious in itself.

Things are different when you diversify your portfolio. That's probably why most men tend to despise girls who hold open options or hedge their bets by spreading their resources. When you do that, you essentially tell the man 'I will not pay your loan, deal with this on your own. I have more investments to take care of'.

Using the language of economy not emotions here, gives me a feeling of simplicity and honesty. I value that

Often both ladies abs gents will try to play the emotional facade, while fully consciously acting in the opposite direction in the real economical game.

kroshkamoya · 2024-04-19T08:38:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sheetmusicman94 · 2024-04-19T18:56:32+00:00

That moment when a woman thinks that a man decides whether to commit and stay mostly depending on whether she is a 5 or a 10, whatever that means. Looks won't matter.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-18T10:47:15+00:00

Title: Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.

Author kroshkamoya

Full text: I saw this clip on Instagram and I think it's 100% true. It was basically saying that it doesn't matter if you're beautiful, hard working, traditional, great cook, educated, etc etc etc....none of that matters if he's not ready to commit.

A man can stay with one woman who's a 10/10 for years and won't commit. They'll break up. And he'll marry a woman 5/10 only because he's at that point in time when he's ready to commit, and he will commit to whomever shows up at the right time and right place.

So ladies, before you date a man.....find out the stage in his life that he's at.

Thoughts?

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Bright-Row-3565 · 2024-04-18T20:28:20+00:00

But when is one ‘ready’ to commit..

JGJG666 · 2024-04-24T16:56:42+00:00

Yes, most men only commit when ready and carolwoodson’s points here are correct. I’m late 40s husband with daughter who will have to look for a husband in 10 years. Ladies you’re seeking men that (sadly) are so rare today and your biological clock gives you so little time, you shouldn’t be wasting a minute unless a man is financially mentally ready and actually says he’s looking to get “married” within 1 year. As an athletic man top earner from traditional U.S. upbringing, I’m active in multiple RP mens’ private business networking groups. I can tell you the few men in North America that are ready have had countless modern women throw themselves on the 1st date then act Amber Heard crazy on the 2nd or 3rd (it was like that for me 20yrs ago it’s worse today) then they watch other men destroyed when wife divorces alienates the kids and the result is only a few of those few marriage ready men are willing to consider marrying a western women. I’m starting to think your only probable means is a professional match maker or maybe private FB groups that pair traditional marriage seeking couples. But I’m glad to see some women joining a forum like this to find the correct path.

Temporary-Intern-711 · 2025-10-12T01:37:19+00:00

Seen it before.

Shagcat · 2024-04-18T11:09:12+00:00

Almost every guy I went out with wanted to marry me right away. I’ve actually been asked on the first date.

carolwoodson · 2024-04-18T14:42:35+00:00

i think red pill women need to date red pill men, and since red pill men are the traditional ones they shouldn't start dating unless they're ready to date to marry. it's not about finding out what stage he's at, it's about finding out what his values are. however i am not very experienced in dating so i might be wrong but last time i dated i asked lots of questions to my date and my date kind of figured out i am looking for a committed relationship and he's not into that and we didn't go on any more dates, so i think communication is important.

Title	Men commit only when they're ready. Doesn't matter how great you are.
Author	kroshkamoya
Upvotes	226
Comments	77
Date	April 18, 2024 10:47 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1c7099w/men_commit_only_when_theyre_ready_doesnt_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/men-commit-only-when-theyre-ready-doesnt-matter.1515556 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515556

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