Wedding or House?

thatbadlarry · 2018-10-14T17:23:52+00:00

H O U S E There is no question here of what is the smarter choice. A house.

Kara__El · 2018-10-14T17:38:37+00:00

A wedding is a party. A house is a home. There's no dilemma.

apronandlace · 2018-10-14T17:32:38+00:00

Having just purchased a house, I'd say house. Having a place to share and make a home together lasts decades rather than just one day. You can always have a cheap wedding (people divorce less actually when they spend less on weddings, there is research on it).

morganKxoxo · 2018-10-14T18:16:28+00:00

House. You don’t need an expensive wedding for it to be special

MoDuReddit · 2018-10-14T20:57:46+00:00

Option 1 - Throw a party with lots of people you hate, spend 10-50k and 12 months of preparations. Total result: your sanity and your money has gone down.

Option 2 - Replace rent paying with credit payments, go live in a much nicer place. Total result: improved quality of life, money down but assets up.

Meeseeksyourtits · 2018-10-15T02:19:40+00:00

In what world does a wedding have to cost as much as a down payment on a house? Just have a lower budget wedding.

NubianIbex · 2018-10-15T11:19:39+00:00

Strike the iron while it's hot. If he asked you to marry him, marry him. A wedding is not a mandatory precursor towards being married. You can certainly have a city hall wedding and maybe throw a larger celebration some time down the line.

Making mutual financial decisions without a legal contract (marriage, for example) isn't wise. My advice is buy a house *and* don't postpone getting married.

Omarrlittle · 2018-10-15T13:12:50+00:00

Every situation is different, but I can tell you what we did...

We got married in the party room of a local pizza restaurant. It's a nicer, upscale pizza place, though. If we made the $500 food minimum (easy with 30 people, but it being pizza, apps and salad, the food wasn't too horribly expensive), the space was free. They were excited about having a different event to market, so they threw in flowers and decor for free. We also booked a newborn photographer looking to expand her portfolio for $200. We spent $200 on the officiant but in retrospect I think I could have asked a friend to do it. Cute dress from Modcloth for $100.

My parents were so relieved to have a small modest wedding, they covered most of it - guaranteed they would not have if we'd spent a lot. Then, a year later, they covered closing costs on our house since they hadn't spent that money on the wedding. Meanwhile, my husband and I saved the money not spent on the wedding and were able to put down a full 20 percent. Over time, that sizable down payment helps us save on interest and no PMI...as a result we've been able to save up for trips to Switzerland and Japan, which in my opinion were a far better investment than a year of stressful wedding planning.

I get it's tougher with a large family, but I still fully believe it is possible to both get married and get a house, if you're frugal.

SpecOpsAlpha · 2018-10-15T13:48:43+00:00

Buy the house, have a party there

Kaboomboomboomboom · 2018-10-14T18:16:01+00:00

Personally, I’d have a wedding with everything I want (for some that’s expensive wedding rings, for others a great restaurant) but only for the closest family and friends - like 20 guests total maximum. That should cut down costs. I believe it’s important to not just elope but to celebrate with family. Other than that, a house is more important than a big party.

ManguZa · 2018-10-14T17:35:03+00:00

House

cocodecoca · 2018-10-14T17:51:25+00:00

House, and then elope and get a cheap wedding somewhere.

minyman60 · 2018-10-14T17:52:01+00:00

Not that i'm a woman. I'm sure I've seen statistics which prove that couples that are confident and connected enough to just have a $1000 tiny do for their wedding literally have happier and longer lasting marriages.

I'm sure it has a lot to do with their connection, and a lot to do with not being indebted when they start taking their relationship to new places.

Good Luck.

missguidedme · 2018-10-15T19:26:51+00:00

You can have a city hall wedding and then invite guests to your new house.

oh_no_aliens · 2018-10-15T22:41:36+00:00

Ask yourself if you want a Wedding or if you want a Marriage.

an0nymus3 · 2018-10-14T19:22:23+00:00

I saw on another comment that you want to get married & start having babies ASAP. Where are you going to get the money to take care of the babies? If you spend money on a wedding first, you’ll have to save up a down payment, then furnish your house, then have babies. If you do a down payment first, you’ll probably furnish the house, have a small, intimate wedding, then have babies. Either way you will have to wait for the babies. My question to you is: how important is it to have both? Because whatever your numbers may be on buying a house & a wedding, both will be more than you expect.

My husband & I spent 30k on a wedding that we both wanted & do not regret it at all. We had an awesome time with our family & closest friends, & we wouldn’t do it any differently if we had to do it again. I will say that we both have relatively good paying jobs, & we are very good at saving & cutting costs. Maybe you can afford both if you just wait a little (we had a year & 2 months to save between buying our house & having our wedding). Also, the wedding money doesn’t come out all at once. There are deposits & payments made on wedding stuff, so it’s not like you need to have ALL the money right away.. though I would strongly suggest it. As long as you can afford the wedding WITHOUT TAKING LOANS or putting everything on credit cards (unless you can pay them off right away), I think you can do both. Just gotta work for it!

TheMarbleSlab · 2018-10-18T13:25:23+00:00

Getting a house is a better decision than having a wedding, but make sure you are actually married before buying a house together.

Do not get a house together if you’re not married. For legal purposes, not getting married before getting a house is a huge mistake. Get married with a CHEAP city hall wedding then buy a house. If you want to, save up for a ceremony in a few years.

imspookyboo · 2018-10-15T20:43:27+00:00

House. Easy!

CalvinRichland · 2018-10-17T04:03:43+00:00

Buy house, then have awesome post marriage house warming party for 1% the price.

LRB2004 · 2018-10-18T18:21:03+00:00

Definitely the house! A house will hopefully be something that increases in monetary value. A wedding wont. We had a smaller wedding of about 45 guests for under 5K. That price included my dress, rings, rehearsal, everything except our honeymoon. Our wedding was nice but in hindsight I would have done things differently. The day was a blur and our guests got more out of the day than we did. Our honeymoon was amazing and if I could have a do-over we'd have just gotten married at our honeymoon destination and had a longer honeymoon.

Your future marriage is important and celebrating that marriage does have some value. It doesn't have to be one or the other. You could plan a more cost effective wedding or start with a less expensive house that doesn't require as much of a down payment.

bambiliftsweights · 2018-10-14T18:05:59+00:00

I recently got married and between his parents, my parents and our own contributions, it was a $40k wedding.

I’m literally spilt 50/50 on whether I regret it or not.

My wedding was perfect. Absolute fairy tale and it felt like a physical representation of our love. Our large families and friends were there and it was just a truly lovely day.

On the other hand, $40k is so much money it’s mind blowing sometimes when I think about it.

Some days I think it was a total waste. Other days, I am SO glad we didn’t do the financially smart thing.

Instead, we celebrated marriage in a world where less and less people our age are getting married.

I know this post is not helpful at all, lol. Just sharing my thoughts.

Good luck to you!

Title	Wedding or House?
Author	Lux_x_Aeterna
Upvotes	8
Comments	27
Date	October 14, 2018 5:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9o4h2a/wedding_or_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/wedding-or-house.67712 https://theredarchive.com/post/67712

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