Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 11/01/2016

PixieDelights · 2016-01-11T14:51:46+00:00

The good: Saying "yes" to sex every time, new primping routine, being more agreeable. For the first time in my life, I have showered every single morning and shaved. It has been a fairly harmonious week, and my husband seems a bit less tense/ansy.

The bad: I think my new face cleanser is giving me a chemical burn or something. Also a few random arguments with my husband that I totally could have just STFU on.

The ugly: It has been less than a week, and it is really dawning on me how much of a controlling shrew I have been for years. I know a few days of change isn't going to see a big change with him, and I almost cried as I realized how awful I have been and how it will take a while to get to a more natural and happy marriage.

Some goals this week: 1. Working on STFU 2. I have listened to the abridged version of Surrendered Wife, but now I want to get the book. 3. Eating better

jade_cat · 2016-01-11T15:23:36+00:00

I'll hop in the thread this week !

The good

My husband found a really good budgeting software that fits our needs, so I have been busy getting used to it, making new, more detailed budget categories, configuring the accounts, etc.
I (mostly) stuck to the meal plan I made.
I started applying elements of beauty routine (hair and face masks, etc) and it feels good !

The bad

I haven't read the book I planned to read (it is due soon at the library :( )
I got lazy on the meals during the weekend, so I thawed some already prepared food (surplus of holidays' food) that was in the freezer and we ate that.

The ugly

Like /u/TempestTcup, I stayed in my pyjamas the whole weekend, and I didn't do my hair at all (I have wavy/curly hair so I can't just brush them, I have to wet them and untangle them with conditioner to deal with them, which I didn't feel like doing at all).

My goals for the week

Stop being lazy during the weekend.
Make a cleaning schedule and a meal plan and stick to it, even during the weekend.
Keep up with the beauty routine (including using a satin pillowcase to help my hair).
Get back to sewing.

TempestTcup · 2016-01-11T14:15:08+00:00

Good: This weekend we were snowed in, so we never left the house. Luckily we had a ton of food in the deep freeze, so I thawed a big ham and made slices for grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, boiled up the part that couldn't be sliced easily, got all the meat off of the bone (after loosening it by simmering with a splash of vinegar), and put all the inedible chunks in the crockpot for broth for beans or whatever. This is a huge process, LOL!

Bad: I didn't do the work I brought home to do :(

Ugly: I never got out of my pajamas the entire weekend except to shower :)

Something about being snowed in makes us super lazy, so we just read books and stayed online all weekend. I did do a lot of things to make the house warmer and more comfortable, though; We like the bedroom near freezing, so I filled hot water bottles to warm the bed before bedtime, and in the main rooms I boiled large stockpots of water to put on the radiators to keep the place humidified. It's amazing how much warmer the place is with a bunch of moisture in the air!

This is my busy time of the year, so all I'll be concentrating on this month is work, work, and more work.

sunhappydc · 2016-01-11T15:26:12+00:00

Good: My bf introduced me to pretty much the bulk of his circle as his gf, including to his ex-wife (son's mother). That made me feel pretty special. It was nice and a first for him, so i was honored.

Bad: I'm officially 123 lbs. This is the heaviest I've been in a year. I need to lose weight.

Ugly: Potential family drama is stressing me out again.

Weekly Goals:

Continue daily prayer and devotional.
IF every day this week and workout in the evenings. Aim for 120 lbs by the end of the week.
Work on thinking of myself less as a girlfriend and more like a sidekick whose job is to support and build up my boyfriend.
Cook every day this week instead of takeout.
Get back into journaling so I stop word vomiting. LOL

arewar · 2016-01-12T18:00:53+00:00

First time... too much in my head, thinking maybe a brain dump might help.

Good:

I think the bedroom is healthy. Striving for 5x/wk minimum. Been "shark week" (god I hate that phrase), so it's been a little standard oral lately, but that wraps up soon.
Trying to keep my insanity self-contained, not react as soon as the feelings hit, trying to think things through to figure out why I have the feelings that I do.
Having some interests coming back up (depression). Been really interested in a few puzzle games the last couple weeks that have been fun and challenging. Doing a little art-sy stuff. Interested in a TV series. Having ways to distract and occupy myself.
Working on self-reassuring thoughts and habits. 'He wouldn't still be here if he didn't love me', 'I would have been fired by now if I were that big of an idiot', etc.

Bad:

Been trying to do 'research' for variety - positions, toys, watch porn together, etc. Struggling here on giving up because I feel that - despite variety being requested - I don't really get any kind of positive vibe or interest from SO. Motivation starts to decline because I feel like I'm failing.
Burned dinner. Wanted to bang my head against a brickwall until I bled. I fuck up the most simplest things.
Find myself obsessing about 'what is he thinking', 'what is he feeling', 'does he secretly hate me', 'am I too AWALT', 'does he look down at me', 'he'd rather be with those women', 'why won't he talk to me'.
Tried journaling but it just doesn't stick.
Tried X-factor for some good habits but it just didn't stick.
Being really sore from workouts seems to really bring me down hard. Don't know why this happens. I've never gotten the good feelings or runners high or anything like that after exercise of any kind - exact opposite it seems. Maybe medication related, should ask my doc next appt.

Ugly:

Insecurity is at a skyrocketing high. Maybe because of the period, I don't have any particular reason lately to feel this way. I've had some sleepless nights because of the fear and anxieties.
Binge day happened
Find myself doubting and second-guessing everything positive around me. 'Oh he says he's happy but he lied about that before', 'sure I know my product at work better than the developers do now but they all still think I'm an idiot'
Constantly wanting more attention and reassurance and comfort. Trying to self-contain with some success but worried it actually just makes things worse.

VintageVee · 2016-01-13T17:23:50+00:00

The good: hearing him say how much he loves me, is proud of me and how he feels I really contribute to this relationship and how much he feels respected and loved. He isnt overly wordy and this sort of thing makes me glow with happiness.

The bad: last friday night I got stressed about my ex husband and that contributed to an argument between us - the argument was brewing and had been all week, but I let it bubble over. It was fixed very efficiently by him saying, you wont get away with this behaviour with me, I'm running this relationship and I know what's best for us - calm yourself down, and lets talk about it.

The ugly - I have a bad cough and am really feeling gross right now!!! not seeing him til the weekend though so hopefully it will clear up by then.

Doomsdaysister · 2016-01-11T14:09:12+00:00

I'll try to participate on this one!!

Goals for the week:

-Get The Surrendered Wife and read it: you girls really recommended it so I'll take the advice :)

-Establish a schedule to keep track of work, cleaning, personal projects and SO quality time: this way I can optimize my time. Example: 2 hours of quality time with SO before sleep instead of multitasking when we are in bed. This way he'll feel important and apprecitated.

-Apply STFU in my relationship to boost my good mood and my SO's self-confidence aka not hearing me nag and complain about his actions all the time.

-Keep a RP diary with everything I can do to improve myself, my relationship and keep track of my progress: also take note of what worked well and what didn't.

-Lurk a bit more around here to understand RP better: maybe post a bit more and read all the links in the wiki.

-Research and invest in ways to feel feminine like skincare, boho chic clothing and cruelty-free makeup because I'm the hippie metalhead he loves but it makes me feel and look angry and "careless" and even ungroomed and that is not the way to act around him and other people. I need to invest in myself and adopt a better attitude and looks in my personal style range. After some research, I think boho chic is the most feminine way to combine all of the above.

-Create a personal budget and financial objectives because I need that kind of discipline. I'm thinking about starting with 100€ in savings account, 200€ towards computer or car and 100€ for personal stuff I might need per month for now and maybe shift the amounts as I attain objectives.

CoochQuarantine · 2016-01-11T14:12:35+00:00

The good:

This week I really worked on keeping calm while in the passenger seat of the car. I did a lot better and found that if I fiddle with the phone or talk to the back seat passengers I can keep my mind occupied instead of slamming on the imaginary brakes I have.

I also cooked this weekend a couple of times and have been on a 2 month long roll with bringing my lunch to work. I've been saving a lot of money by not eating out as much and I'm proud of that.

The bad

I could have done better with attending yoga but JD has got me going to kenpo on Wednesdays and they can be brutal. I am gonna suck it up though and get to my yoga. It'll be hard but I know I can do it. Also, I keep forgetting to put on sunscreen in the morning. I always feel rushed out of the yoga studio because the teacher has to go to another class afterwards. Of course the rushing is being done by me. I'm sure that they don't mind as they have allotted that time to allow student to get ready after class. I just don't want to be a burden. I need to get over that and just take my time and make sure I do what I need to do. 1 more minute to apply the sunscreen isn't going to kill anyone.

cats_or_get_out · 2016-01-11T15:03:57+00:00

I need to be a kinder person at work. My nerves are frayed. I gave my notice (upcoming move), and I have no tolerance for any BS from staff members anymore. I have a bad case of workplace senioritis.

I have three more weeks of work. I'm going to put myself in "time out" when I feel my crazy. (My forms of time out include things like shelving books.) I'm also going to remind myself that this is all going to be gone soon, and that I'll miss it all. I'm going to try to focus my energy on the patrons and ignore all the other stuff.

I went to a memorial service this past weekend and that helped tremendously. It reminded me that our love is all that we leave when we leave. I'm sure part of my shitty attitude this week was related to grieving. (One my elderly patrons was beaten to death a block from our little library in our quiet neighborhood.) Seeing his friends from church and from his local political groups has reminded me that I can make friends anywhere and under any circumstances. (I crave a community and a fellowship, and I have been worried about starting over with this upcoming move.)

I guess that's why I feel so crabby at work, too. I know how I want to be, and by 3:30 on, I sometimes discover that I am falling so short. I get tired, and my defenses get worn down. This week, I am going to work on that.

sweetkisses29 · 2016-01-11T15:09:36+00:00

lovely weekly thread! thank you for posting.

good: last week, i hit all my goals! it was an awesome week. however, after hitting all my goals, things took a turn for the worse. see my "ugly" section below. and, even though i was sick, i was able to make food for my husband and i this weekend (with some of his help). i am roasting pork all day today for pulled pork sandwiches this evening. i have been preparing the pork since yesterday. i am so excited and i hope it turns out well!

bad: i have a lot of goals to meet this week, and i need to take a rest day today to recover from illness, so i am worried that i won't meet all my goals for the week. worrying doesn't solve anything, though, so i am going to tackle some things that i can today while resting and honoring my recovery. i will also be more forgiving of myself if i am not able to meet my high standards for myself.

ugly: i have been sick since friday, terribly so. i got home from working out on friday morning and my health took a swift nose dive. i am feeling much better today, but not nearly 100%, so i am taking another rest day to ensure my recovery. i feel awful because i haven't done my hair since friday, or my makeup, or dressed the way i enjoy dressing, or worked out because i've been so ill. so, naturally, i am feeling down on myself besides being physically ill. i literally feel ugly and i whined a bit yesterday - my husband pointed it out with compassion, saying that i was only being down because i wasn't able to do all the things that make me feel good but that i will be feeling better soon if i take more rest. i want to not feel ugly - being sick is the worst.

littleteafox · 2016-01-11T18:20:44+00:00

Good:

Met boyfriend's family this past weekend. I was pretty nervous, since we had only been dating for a few weeks, but it went better than I had thought :)
Realized how on-point RPW/RP is. Everything just clicks and I can see it now. For example, I've been upping my girl game which he has responded to very well. He loves the feminine things about me (I know because we were talking about the things we like each other/what drew us to each other in the first place. He said how he loved the way I walked, the way I dressed, my voice, how I look, my personality, my morals and life outlook). I've been giving him lots of baked goods which he loves. He commented on how he loves how affectionate I am with him and how previous girls weren't like that at all. He says things like "Just trust me" when I'm worried about something and instead of letting myself go into an anxiety spin I say "You're right, I can trust you" and I actually do feel better (because he is captain worthy and I know I can actually trust his judgement).
We were able spent a longer period of time together (the whole weekend) and it was great. We stayed in bed until 1pm on Sunday :)

Bad:

I still have the "it's to good to be true" feeling, like I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall. I doubt it's based on anything real, it's probably just leftover baggage from prior relationships. I'm working on just letting go and enjoying things. Easier said than done.
Had a little scare this weekend that entailed a midnight run to cvs for plan b. I was REALLY anxious that night but he was awesome about it all and drove to the store himself so I could stay in, bought the pill, reassured me that everything was going to be fine and that he wasn't going anywhere (I was freaking myself out reading people's side effects). He stayed up with me and sang me some songs to help me fall asleep (aww) and by the next morning I felt fine. Only side effects I've felt so far is mild bouts of nausea.

Nothing ugly, I think!

Goals this week: Re-read surrendered single and get a copy of surrendered wife. Incorporate meditation into my day as was suggested to me in another thread. Keep up girl game. R-e-l-a-x. Keep encouraging him as best as I can as a first-mate. Keep showing support for the things he does that I admire (waking up at 5am every day to go to the gym, how hard he works and how he's been a leader for his team, his love for his family, etc). Try out emeals.com and see how their meal planning app goes. I managed to get my whole apartment clean in one go, next I need to work on organizing. It's hard to find time for that though because it seems like when I'm not at work or class I'm with him, lol!

LauraXVII · 2016-01-11T23:07:27+00:00

Hi Ladies :) I've just got back to my little flat this weekend after spending 3 weeks at my parents and it is so nice to have my own personal space... The lack of cats is less nice though :(

Anyways. The good

I made an actual real life pie and it doesn't taste like I made it!
I went shopping today and got a whole load of veg
Tonight I made my own mashed potatoes instead of the microwave stuff
I've also pre-boiled eggs for sandwiches to bring into work this week
I bought myself a TV, so now my sofa isn't facing an empty TV bench 😂
I have my electric blanket on and my bum is currently nice and toasty :)

The bad

I haven't done any exercise apart from lugging my suitcase up the stairs
I also haven’t done any reading

The Ugly

My flat is still full of stuff I haven't unpacked 36 hours after I got back from holidays. It's now got to the point I can't walk across my living room floor.
I didn't do my washing when I should have and now I have no trousers for work tomorrow...

Goals for this week

Try and figure out a schedule of when I'll be sorting things for lunch/when I'll be exercising etc
Read!!

ealanor · 2016-01-12T14:37:11+00:00

The good: I've managed to keep up with the exercise routines. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I think my booty looks better already after three weeks or so :P Met a guy, and now we are slooooooooowly but surely building trust and getting to know each other, we have different temperaments but it seems we can actually move into relationship instead of just dating

The bad: Work is busy now, as I managed to secure funds to start with this huge project that goes on until the end of next year. By busy I mean I'm travelling all over the country and making time to see the guy is a challenge. Not impossible one, but I need to make a conscious decision to give him time when I have time, and remember that even if I'm tired, it's not his fault, I wanted this. I'm pretty excited about the job, so it's not all bad, it's actually really good, 'cause the job market is what it is, and now I can actually save some money and pay off my student loans as well.

The ugly: The holiday season made me gain weight due to eating way too much. Not a lot, but still. Also, there are lot of issues going on with my extended family, my grandpa is sick, my cousin probably going to divorce etc. so even if I know they are not really MY issues they kinda are. I feel that I don't work hard enough for our extended family as I live in different city, and I know they miss me, and would probably need my help too.

Goals: No new year, new me stuff here. Maybe new year, little bit better me? I'm trying to chill mostly, about work, about relationships and learn to really trust people around me. I need to be available when needed, but I know I'm surrounded with capable people. No one is irreplaceable. Rather than fixing other people's problems I need to concentrate being nice and available even when I'm stressed and busy.

liftinginthemoment · 2016-01-13T00:38:25+00:00

Hi! I'm fairly new but after lurking for a little while I finally signed up and thought I'd jump in this week :)

The Good

was much better at sticking to my macros last week after being pretty awful during the holidays
got a new workout plan (I get my training and macros set for me by someone) and it really kicked my butt in a good way
it was my birthday in Saturday and I had an amazing day thanks to my SO. I moved across the world less than a year ago and this was my first birthday away from my family and friends (I don't know many people here) but he made it really special

The Bad

wasn't as productive at work as I would have liked
despite hitting my macros didn't drop any of the extra holiday pounds... Which has resulted in a small macro cut and an extra cardio session :(

The Ugly

on Saturday when getting for my birthday dinner we were running a bit late for our dinner reservation and I could feel myself slip into "panic mode". I used to be really bad with this years ago but for the most part am ok now but every now and then slip up. I need to remember to relax and just chill out! But really it wasn't that bad and then we had a great evening :)

Goals

stick to my macros this week. Weight seems to already be down a pound from Friday so hopefully it keeps going in that direction...
keep up with my journaling which slipped a bit over the holidays
Actually stick to my budget and save some money

becomingabetterme88 · 2016-01-13T13:54:15+00:00

In "monk mode" after a recent breakup:

The good: Joined a gym and have been going religiously, am ramping up an ab-skincare regime and already seeing results, tried new recipes, figured out a budget that will have me student-debt-free and roth-ira-maxed-out by April.

The bad: Haven't gotten ~any~ graduate work done! Anxiety dream last night. Need to get my booty in gear.

The ugly: I've noticed recently that with people I know well, I have a little condescending voice that pops up if they're telling me their problems ("well, if you just did X, you would be fine." not true! I do not know that; I'm not God). This voice is toxic and while it's well-meaning, needs to be seriously reformulated (ie... crushed. lol).

iseethewheel · 2016-01-11T13:56:59+00:00

I'm just getting back into the swing of things with a new (and last for undergraduate!) term at university, and that has brought back lots of great and poor things. After an extended holiday with my SO, I have a lot more responsibilities on my plate and have to confront the fact that I want to find a lot of new friends because a lot of the old ones were not great for me.

I have also had a talk with my SO about the fact that we are at the point in our relationship now (~3 months, 1 year as friends) where we need to reestablish ourselves as individuals since we spent /so/ much time together in the fall. He brought this up and I completely agreed. I was pretty anxious at first because we were just talking about how I was going to find new friends and I misunderstood him for saying he didn't want to see me. Once I cooled off (didn't lose my top, but got a little wobbly-eyed), I was able to see that his leadership was obviously correct and this was a step that we both want to take as mature adults.

So! Goals for this week:

-Be super busy socially and academically to maximize my hard work and make new friends/reconnect with quality friends

-Chill out with the anxiety. Omg, chill out. Trust my SO because I know he is a super smart guy, a great leader, and has both of our best interests at heart. Give him the space to cultivate things that are important to him. Use that time to get back into stuff that makes me happy that I was unable to do in the fall anyway because of a sports injury (martial arts, yoga, running)

-Call my mom more often because she feels lonely and can give me emotional support when I anxiety spiral, rather than just relying on myself and my SO, which puts so much unnecessary pressure on him

am3liia · 2016-01-12T05:01:43+00:00

Good:

I made a meal plan and stuck to it. I'm actually excited to plan my meals for the next week.

I've been so much better about tidying up clutter and doing chores before leisure activities.

Bad: I've been a little emotional/sensitive lately - not sure if it's birth control related, stress, not enough sleep, or just me being silly. I'm trying to get it under control because I know my boyfriend gets annoyed.

Title	Weekly Self-Reflection Thread: 11/01/2016
Author	CoochQuarantine
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	January 11, 2016 1:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/40gs9f/weekly_selfreflection_thread_11012016/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-11012016.85903 https://theredarchive.com/post/85903

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