Reposting this because, outside of archive, this excellent post is now gone. Cheers to laidnyc, the original author.

I have seen a lot of askTRP questions on this subject, because it's spring break and turns out your LTR/FWB/Wifey was a ho and she broke up with you to get on the ride once again.

Without further adieu:

As a man, you don’t need closure.

A girl either wants to fuck you or she doesn’t. A long, emotional conversation will not change this fact.

Girls, however, need to put a man they are dumping into a desexualized box and wrap a pretty bow of closure around it. By participating in the closure process you are helping her tie the bow around your desexualized fate.

If a girl breaks up with you:

  • Do not talk about your feelings
  • Do not talk about her feelings
  • Do not argue with her reasons

Just accept it and grieve on your own time.

This is hard.

Why?

Because a woman will never give her ACTUAL reasons for breaking up with you.

She will only give you society-approved bullshit that makes her look innocent.

She will never say “you didn’t fuck me good enough” or “you’re too nice and not exciting” or “no other girl I know wants to fuck you so something must be wrong with you”.

She will say “I’m really busy with school and work and don’t have time for a relationship now” or “you’re great but I”m not ready for anything serious” or “I care about you as a friend”.

Sometimes the reasons she give will be SO false, such obvious flowery bullshit, that you will feel a deep burning need to set her straight, to correct her misunderstanding.

Don’t.

You can’t logic a woman.

You can say “okay”, walk away with a smirk and never contact her again. Being robbed of emotionally dripping closure, she’ll always feel a little incomplete.

Why didn’t he fight harder for me?

Did I really not get to his emotions?

Am I not as desirable to him as I thought?

Is he more desirable than I thought?

Girls have egos. They WANT to know you’re emotional about her breaking up with you. It validates her. So don’t do it.

You want a girl dumping you to question her reasons, not verify them.

When a girl dumps you, you want to be able to look back on how your handled it with pride.

When you give a girl closure, you give her your pride.