Ahh, I love it when she says it, "I hate you". With a scowl on her face and a smirk in her voice, she reveals that I've won.
Take last night for example. We were driving to the grocery store and for some reason I declared, "I'm a polite guy." This is what followed...
Her: Uh, that's FAR from the truth.
Me: No way. I'm totally polite.
H: There are MANY words I'd use to describe you, but "polite" wouldn't be one of them.
M: Really? How would you describe me? Actually, don't worry about it. I know what words you'd use to describe me.
H: Yeah, like what??
M: Sexy... Yeah, that would be the first one.
H: (Snorts) Yeah, right. It's probably a good idea if we don't play this game, I don't think either of us is going to be happy at the end of it.
M: (parks car, looks over at her). OMG, you totally hate me. Sounds like I need to start looking for a new girlfriend.
H: What?? Why would you say that?
M: Well, you can't even tell me what words you'd use to describe me. Sounds bad to me. I better start scouting new talent.
H: (stares at me with lower lip trembling...)
H: (stares at me with lower lip trembling...)
H: Fine. Maybe I need a new boyfriend then. (tears start flowing)
M: Sounds like you do. Stop crying now.
H: No. You're mean.
M: No I'm not. Stop crying, we have groceries to get. Give me a kiss here on the cheek ( I lean over, present my cheek, and point at it )
H: No. You ARE mean. You said you were getting a new girlfriend (still crying)
We get out of the car and are walking into the grocery store. She's collected herself but is still sniffling a little.
M: It's called teasing. You started a little game, I teased back. (smacks her ass).
H: (whiney) You suck at teasing then. That was just mean.
M: No, I'm good at teasing. I'm just so sexy that you can't handle it.
H: (tries not to laugh but fails, even though she's still recovering from crying)
H: (looking up at me from under her eyelids) I HATE you.
She shakes her head and hugs me.
I laugh, and tell her "Good.".
End of shit test.
Edit: In case it's not clear, the "I hate you" is said playfully, with faux scorn and a smirk she can't hide. She's verbally saying "I hate you" but what she really means is "I hate that I love the way you don't fall for my shit and I love you for it".
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