So I’m going to tell you guys about STIs I caught while wearing a condom. Recently contracted Molluscum Contagiosum from a plate I used to hook up with a few months back.

I also caught genital warts in the past (gross af). I managed to napalm them off with a soldering iron and fix it (it doesn’t leave scars boys, unless it’s on your cock or scrotum, leave that to the professionals). Compared to molluscum, hpv warts are a breeze, easier to contain and you can still have a sex life.

These molluscum things are a different story. They spread like wild fire. Doctors don’t take it seriously, in fact no one does, so the choices for treatment are limited. And you’ll have to insist, because most doctors will tell you to leave it because it “resolves on its own”. Do your research and you’ll see what I mean.

Tips to make sure the lady you’re about to smash is STI/STD free. (Obviously, wear a condom)

1: TURN THE LIGHT ON, MAKE IT BRIGHT AND CLINICAL.

2: Know how to distinguish between folliculitis (shaving bumps) and actual STIs.

3: Take your time when looking, don’t rush it. You can go down there, pleasure her while looking without putting your mouth on it.

4: Ask her if she’s clean (in some countries if you contract an STD from someone and they don’t let you know you can sue)

5: If the paranoia gets to you, fuck her while in boxers (the kind that has an opening in front). This is last resort and for the true warriors who don’t mind looking like a twat while shagging.

Tips for living with these 2 STIs:

1: It takes time for your body to fight the virus, you have to be on top of it and halt the spread, every bit helps.

2: If you’re about to hook up and you’re infectious, be honest, if she isn’t down, you’ll eventually find a girl who is. I’ve done it and you can too. If you take the right precautions, you can be safe. Just be smart.

3: Be healthy, eat the right things, don’t drink or smoke too much and exercise often.

4: Don’t beat yourself up about it. Shit happens, be thankful it isn’t something worse.

5: Keep talking to women.

Tl;dr - turn the fucking light on and know what you’re looking for

EDIT - yes, I didn’t do the check (duh) So that’s why I’m telling you cunts now, CHECK and KNOW what to look for. I could’ve avoided this and the thousands I’ve spent on doctors appointments if I just did the check. Molluscum is tricky, you have to know the difference between molluscum bumps and folliculitis. Don’t be fooled, molluscum cases are rapidly increasing

Ok bye