Disclaimer: this post is not about outcome independence or journey pleasure, rather it's about mental masturbation and the comfort-seeking mindset - if you want just the core of the message, skip to the "My point" section

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The End Goal.

The Destination.

That sweet, sweet prize that is waiting for you at the end of the tunnel. If only you could get to it everything will be alright, right? Right?

Wrong.

We've all been there at one point or another. Let's say that you really, really want to write a book, or get a girlfriend, or get ripped, or whatever else you want to make of your life. But that said, do you really understand your own motivations? Do you actually find joy and meaning in the pursuit of those purposes, or do you simply find the idea itself, of having a girlfriend, having written a book, being jacked, etc. appealing?

This is the difference between a purpose and a whim. Let's say you do get a girlfriend, of succeed in building a business, or manage to get the body you have always wanted. Great. Now what? If the whole point of the journey was your fascination with the idea of achieving any of those thing, once you reach them, what are you going to do? Just sit around drooling and jerking yourself over the fact that you're the man and that you proved yourself to yourself.

Worse yet, in the majority of circumstances, if you were to approach any goal with this mindset, you are unlikely to even reach any of those end-goals, almost certainly doomed to fall prey to frustration - you will talk to four girls, or go to the gym for a week, and then get discouraged and give up, because there is no sign of the end goal being any closer.

Well, stop fetishizing the end goal.

Don't misunderstand what I am saying, you do need a destination/goal, but only as something to keep at the back of your mind so that it guides you towards what you want. Indulging in that end-goal is only an indication of a weak, comfort-seeking mind that likes to stew in the idea of getting to that goal. Keeping your end-goal at the center of your focus will only result in fantasizing about how good and warm and nice it would be to finally get there, while at the same time you are not even engaged in the process of pursuing the goal, which of course, is guaranteed to yield dissatisfying results.

The motivation that you will find in the destination mentality is low quality motivation that will stab you in the back the first instance it catches sight of something more immediately stimulating than the fantasy of the current end goal. The best motivation is reinforced through visualizing the process and finding purpose and joy in it. Don't aim to "get a girlfriend" - set a purpose to learn game and enjoy doing it; don't aim to "get jacked" - start lifting and realize the importance of the activity itself, learn to enjoy it; don't aim to "build a successful business", you get the idea...

If you only enjoyed the goals and destinations in your life, you would be miserable about 99% of the time. Master the process. If you don't enjoy the process, the goal frankly isn't worth your time - the goal is only the cherry on top of whatever cake you make for yourself.

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• Ask yourself if the pursuit of the purposes you have set for yourself are something enjoyable and sustainable, or if its simply done in service of the ideal of the destination that you have created as an indulgent fantasy.
• Keep setting goals, keep getting results, but don't indulge in it.
• Fuck the end goal - life is a process, not a destination.

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MY POINT

My point is this: if you say that you enjoy lifting, or writing, or building a business, but at the same time your only focus is getting to the end while you see the process as a tiresome struggle that you are waiting to be over, then you do not enjoy lifting, writing, or building a business - what you actually enjoy is the idea of having written a book, or having achieved the body of your dreams, or having built a business (the past tense is key) - you might be indulging in these end goals because your ego is starved, and you are NOT actually passionate about the tension of the writing process or working out, or seducing girls - you are in love with the comfortable IDEA of a reality where you have done these things in the past.

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TL;DR - stop indulging the idea of what you want to achieve. Set a course and focus on making the process of pursuing your goals enjoyable and meaningful.

Edit: grammar and an additional point

Edit 2: clarified my point; added disclaimer