I was drinking at my local watering hole tonight. The bartender is the milf of the century and gets a lot of attention. She's single and very flirtatious.

Some dude was there tonight I didn't recognize. He starts out not much for talking, kinda terse in his delivery as if he's there to drink alone. He starts opening up and I find out he's in his 40s, is an ironworker, and makes a very good living for himself. The bartender starts getting flirtatious and he starts getting really chummy and bantering back-and-forth with her. I've got some drunk chick sitting beside me who, after witnessing that this guy's flirtation is without direction, starts feeding this guy basic pickup advice. He starts arguing with her, going on with the pedestalisation of the object of his affection loudly and obviously within earshot. I'll paraphrase: 'oh, a woman of this calibre cannot be treated thus'. They start discussing a possible date and he is completely incapable of taking the lead ('well, I get back from work at xx/yy/zz, what time works for you?'), despite her subtle cues for him to make a choice.

Anyway, there was more awkwardness but it's irrelevant. After buddy leaves, and the bar is empty, I just start probing the bartender. What will come as no surprise to many of you is that she was totally turned off as the night wore on. She said it's not unusual for guys to start out one way and then just change over the course of a night as the prospect of obtaining her draws closer. This guy that thought he was being a more perfect gentleman, just ended up projecting himself as a total creep.

The takeaway is that self-sabotage is one's worst enemy. This guy had a good job/income, decent intelligence, and had drawn the attraction of a very beautiful woman. He fucked up with the fundamentals. He did not need to be a gamelord - he just needed to not come off like a doormat. I'm like a yellow-belt in game, but just that basic level of knowledge puts you so far above those without any knowledge. I just was shaking my head as buddy was nuking a very good prospect.