When did you become a Man?

Melman195 · 2018-03-21T19:57:39+00:00

I'm 24 rn and it seemed to happen about 8 months ago right around my 24th birthday.

I noticed my dad treating me differently, he started coming to me with his problems and treating me like an adult. Then I started to realize I had emerged from his shadow and I was in control of my own life. It was relatively disappointing, I saw my dad as lesser of a person and frankly, just like anyone else his age, he was no longer above me.

However, I am on a path that I want to go down and not one that is substantially influenced by him. It overall feels great. Strangely it's not a joyous experience but a painful one. The reward is the emergence into adulthood, change can be painful.

Slayerzyzz · 2018-03-21T20:07:07+00:00

When we stop trying to be redpill and just do whatever the hell we want without fear

banjew · 2018-03-21T20:26:25+00:00

Probably when I had to hit my father to stop him hitting me. When I had to steal to eat, or when I went to jail. Wild times when I was 17 years old.

whatsthisgarg · 2018-03-21T20:48:34+00:00

I became a man when I was 13 years old, when my dad took off (I saw him a total of FIVE times in the next 30 years). My very conservative and religious mother just turned to me as the man of the house right then. Those hard times actually gave me a huge headstart on my own red pill thing. There was no waffling, decisions had to be made.

pabloescoclub · 2018-03-21T23:25:03+00:00

When I stopped picturing myself as a victim of my upbringing and realized I needed to become a leadership figure not only for myself but my family.

I am the oldest and the one that will be left picking up the pieces of my father's terrible parenting now and after his death. I realized I needed to become a man not only for my own improvement but for the sake of the security of my younger siblings.

Seriously this is the only thing holding a lot of dudes back. They feel entitled to good parents and wallow in sorrow and resentment while they could be owning the situation.

If their is a void of leadership in your life you must fill it.

TunedtoPerfection · 2018-03-21T20:33:05+00:00

All events in your life will effect you "as a man." Being a man is a journey only ended by death.

ReluctantSlimeball · 2018-03-21T23:07:40+00:00

About 27-29.

That’s when I stopped caring about what other people thought.

Daspker780 · 2018-03-22T00:15:19+00:00

Enlisted in the Army at 17 and Just turned 19 roughly two weeks ago, and I think i'm still working on becoming one.

megamanxtc · 2018-03-22T03:35:17+00:00

After I bought my first property. I was pretty blue pill up to that point.

Long story incoming. I lived with my parents and had got a GF after college. She would belittle and berate me about my income level all the while she was only in Junior college and not working. After a couple of years, my salary climbed and I bought a house.
My father would come over to my visit, and my mother would comment on the sofa I bought. My sister and her boyfriend dropped by and we played video games. I had friends over and we stayed up drinking and toasting the new house.
My GF and I weren't married, but she tried to move in. She would complain about things I did or didn't do, furniture choices, the fact that I had a game room. She was the only one who complained out of everyone who'd been over. It was as I sat in my office and realized I hated being home with her. She hadn't moved in so she luckily didn't have a lot to move out, just a few things she left strewn about.
She wanted to get together Friday night after my work finished. I knew she was thinking about staying the weekend. I told her we should meet up somewhere and I chose a place in between us to give the reason not to drive and pick her up first. This was fine, since she could figure she'd park her car at my place. Took less than 10 minutes to break up with her and then go home. Had a few friends over. We ordered a pizza, drank beer, and watched The 25th Hour.

Self-honest · 2018-03-21T22:55:10+00:00

I remember looking in the mirror and wondering when I would become a man. It didn't actually happen until I worked hard, and turned myself into a man.

eccentricrealist · 2018-03-21T19:58:02+00:00

It's not from one day to the other. I could easily say the day my parents got divorced and I toughened up, the day I got a job, or finished high school, etc. No black to white transition, no plunge into the abyss, at least for most people it doesn't work like that.

HiddenTog · 2018-03-21T22:52:58+00:00

I think everyone’s transition from boyhood to manhood is different but the over arching theme is a realization of inner and outer strength. For me it was on a cycling ride with my dad and my now wife. I realized for the first time in my life I was stronger and more capable then my father peddling hard into a headwind. After that moment I understood that I would now be surpassing my father in a variety of ways- physical strength, confidence, practical knowledge, etc. It is sad in a way but empowering in another.

hearts-divide · 2018-03-22T01:23:19+00:00

When I decided to live my life as if my dad was dead.

Falconsbeardedchess · 2018-03-22T16:11:03+00:00

Most of you arent men yet. Its not when your balls descend, its not when you get your dick wet for the first time, its not when you get your first job. When it happens, it may hurt like hell, but then you will know.

DamnDirtyApe87 · 2018-03-23T15:52:11+00:00

My father died suddenly about 6 years ago, I was 24 at the time and fucking up my life. After having buried him something clicked inside, I had to become an actual man now instead of screwing around.

I'm still working on it of course, and improving each day, but that event really opened my eyes at the time. It's why the sentence 'live your life as if your father was dead' really resonates with me, because it's true.

Martysteiner · 2018-03-21T21:31:35+00:00

I've became a man when I was 23. I looked a lot younger than my colleagues, perhaps a teenager even though I had long beard. Beta dad, beta mom(irony). You can imagine the rest.

After my HB10 LTR cheated on me with my close friend and many others while emotionally addicted to me, I had stepped up myself and became a true man. Lifted, ran, eat better, built a dream/goals etc.

Now I'm developing video games, earning good, have university degree, read/write, and have an amazing social life. She still seeks and wants me desperately, but my money is more valuable than her I suppose.

ThrowFader · 2018-03-21T23:33:49+00:00

I dont know really. I had to face a lot of torture when I was younger and I never tried to fight back (he was way stronger and only followed through with harsher punishments). College... I was overcompensating for my lack of freedom. Definately a man-child.

I think I became a "man" when my wife became pregnant with our kid. I quit drinking, quit smoking, quit being a little bitch, and focused 100% on the future of our kid

360_no_scope_upvote · 2018-03-23T05:01:07+00:00

I realized I needed to become the best version of myself, and will continue to improve until I die.

Rian_Stone · 2018-03-21T19:54:03+00:00

If you didn't have a male celebration into man-hood, what events had to happen, or pre-requisites did you have to accomplish, in order to allow yourself to identify as a man and not a boy?

Pick one. Doesn't matter. In fact, the idea of guys searching for someone else to tell them they are a man is asinine. Spoke in florida on that, how guys are on their own, I wouldn't be giving them a mission.

And the only question they threw back was just like yours... I could only suggest they knife a deer and eat their heart, then you're a man.

Or, you know, just stop giving a shit what others think of you, works just as well

reluctantly_red · 2018-03-21T22:10:37+00:00

It wasn't a celebration of any sort. It was the start of the summer between grade 9 and grade 10 when I was 15 years old. I decided that I didn't want to work another summer on our neighbors farm for $3/hr so I drove the old Ford pickup into town and got a job at a factory that made log home kits (think giant Lincoln Logs). They put me to work driving a forklift and paid me $6/hr which was decent money in 1979 (they never asked how old I was). I was handed adult responsibility and more or less stepped up (I did have a few near misses while I was learning the job).

passmethebleachpls · 2018-03-22T05:28:02+00:00

when my father said " you don't need me anymore" at around 16

halfback910 · 2018-03-22T16:52:54+00:00

So, when did you know, in your heart of hearts, that you were no longer a boy and had now become a man?

When I started going to school full time while working a full time office job.

Did your father, uncle, or any other male role model in your life celebrate this with or for you?

Hell no.

If you didn't have a male celebration into man-hood, what events had to happen, or pre-requisites did you have to accomplish, in order to allow yourself to identify as a man and not a boy?

Worth. When you're a kid you have no worth. Nobody cares about your opinions and certainly nobody will pay you for them. When your opinions and experience are valuable enough that someone is willing to pay you for them, you're a man, in my opinion.

Kaem · 2018-03-22T22:51:10+00:00

The day I bought my dad a chair to die in. There was no celebration

jonpe87 · 2018-03-23T13:59:05+00:00

When I realized that I'm alone in this world, and have to be responsible for my own life and happiness, if you depend somebody else for both you are fucked.

modernmonkuk · 2018-03-22T15:16:08+00:00

Very interesting post! i would say i can relate to this as my father never really helped me towards becoming the strongest version of myself

leroymcfiggans · 2018-03-22T16:12:40+00:00

when my father died 5 years ago, as the oldest male amongst my siblings, i had to start climbing the steps towards manhood more vigorously then i had been.

YetisInAtlanta · 2018-03-22T20:49:16+00:00

I was roughly 20ish living in a frat house. i did a lot of drugs and tripping but one instance stands out as my coming into manhood moment.

I took 3 tabs of acid and an eighth of shrooms, played my drums and ran around the woods. I met god and saw my place in the universe. it was like an old shamanic finding your spirit animal type of trip

since then i have journyed down the path to be enlightened and have followed it down its many routes; one of them being TRP.

my journey has been all about mastering myself and becoming the man I want to be.

after that trip I felt like i had all the knowledge of the universe at my fingertips

Flying_Wingback · 2018-03-21T21:07:19+00:00

When I moved out of my parents' house at 26. I'm Armenian living in LA and even here it is part of our culture to remain with your family until married. Noticed a big difference in how people talk to me (even my own parents) after this move.

AceofRains · 2018-03-23T04:00:13+00:00

I didn't have anyone to really influence this in my life so I created my own coming of age last year. I had an apartment my self, a car, and was responsibly paying bills. But what topped it off was conquering my gauntlet on a foam fighting team. In retrospect its nothing compared to what I'm doing this year. I just finished my first semester of trade school to become a Diesel Technician with straight A's. I also was able to achieve the highest paying job with the most hours I've ever held in a transmission shop, tearing down transmissions to supplement my education. But that year where I had completed my gauntlet mean that I could over come all my obstacles, therefore with the will to keep fighting and pressing ahead no matter the circumstances I became a man.

just_wannabe_happy · 2018-03-21T21:48:20+00:00

I still feel like a manchild to be honest.

Throwaway_5252 · 2018-03-21T23:54:58+00:00

When I started tucking my weenie between my legs in front of the mirror and pretending I was a girl. That's the moment when I went full on Alpha.

No, I still don't really know or give a shit what it means to be a man. I basically see the world through the lens of Darwinism. Survival of the fittest. Born into this world alone, die alone(This applies to your family as well). If there was ever a moment I "became a man" it's when I came to the realization that no one is going to save you and the world is a cold and unforgiving place. There are many times I could have rolled over and died. I had been through so much and there were many occasions I wanted to. Hell, I still question every day wether I'd want to bring a child into this shit. I'm leaning towards not as I've seen things that make me question if being alive is a good thing. There's a lot of pain in the human condition. You've heard of chronic pain. You've never heard of chronic pleasure. For some, existence is nightmare drenched in misery. Regardless, we're all gonna get it in the end. The are no happy endings.

I became a man when I pulled my collar up, lit a cig, and went into that cold dark alone. Jimmy dean. Rock on.

victor_knight · 2018-03-22T05:10:35+00:00

Biologically (which is as good a basis as any), I believe it's when the male is able to reproduce. So it differs from person to person.

1v1crown · 2018-03-22T19:29:04+00:00

You aint no kind of man if you aint got land.

Bisuboy · 2018-03-22T23:29:11+00:00

You are no real man until you have killed a man with your bare hands.

BlackCraneStoic · 2018-03-24T14:33:17+00:00

When I turned 25 months after my non-present Father died of cancer. Of all his kids (5) he did the least for me but I was the only one who wanted long enough in the hospital to watch him pass on. Watching the death of someone familiar to me forced me to deeply reevaluate my own life and has affected me deeply ever since regarding superficial frivilous bullshit that most people have at the forefront of their thoughts. The reality of death and hardship will make a man out of anyone.

gilbertg2000 · 2018-03-25T13:46:44+00:00

It was the day that my mother told me, at age 12, that I was now the man of the house after my parents separated.

Wakka_Grand_Wizard · 2018-03-29T06:08:36+00:00

I think Richard Pryor said it best "A man cannot graduate until he gets his heart broken, that is his diploma". I defo started my journey of manhood once my ex-broke my freaking heart. Since then I have worked out a lot of my problems out.

2018-03-22T03:40:30+00:00

closest thing for me would be turning 18. at that point I could drink and vote in elections. no place was off limits to me then. I never had a dad growing up either to tell me here or there.

Moir53 · 2018-03-26T23:41:43+00:00

Through self-initiation, and the blessing that is Bwiti tribe in Africa. My father left when I was young, grew up in a house with women, and so that masculine aspect was lacking or rather my mother had to adapt and became a father figure in a sense.

When I was 17, I had some big experiences with mushrooms which opened me up to layers of Truth. By the time I turned 18, I had consciously decided to travel to Peru for Ayahuasca ceremonies.. THAT was the catalyst to big internal shifts. By 20 I was in the deserts of Arizona sipping Peyote by myself, connecting with ancestors and rekindling that masculine essence within. In hindsight, it all adds up and makes sense. The mountain I drank and had ceremony in front of was called Yang mountain, I was cutting out a very toxic relationship, I was forgiving myself for whatever deep shame resided within which was aimed toward myself, my life, my expression of masculinity, and healing those parts that felt neglected. I’d realised that everything I needed or craved already resided within and that any perceived lack was just something I hadn’t given myself.

Just last year, at 21, I got to experience Rites of Passage in Africa with the Bwiti tribe in West Central Africa - Gabon. I was originally there to work with Iboga medicine, but an opportunity came up to go through Rites of Passage, it was then that I knew I was emerging as a Man. It was a powerful metamorphosis. Three days in the jungle (usually longer, depending on how far you want to go, but time constraints were in effect), I won’t go any deeper with it as it’s a personal experience that I hold close. I found Brotherhood in the jungle.

Not long after, I broke up with a girlfriend at the time, it was the best decision for me. About two months later I found RP, it instantly resonated with me and a lot of the concepts come naturally. It felt good to find others who see what I’ve seen, even from a young age, but it feels even better to consciously take the pill and to expand on it.

Bassé.

chambertlo · 2018-03-22T02:14:22+00:00

When I watched my father be arrested on Christmas day after trying to first assault my mother, and then the police officers that arrived at the scene.

Arabian_Wolf · 2018-03-23T07:28:32+00:00

• 1st one:

Couple of years ago, I had to train in a hospital for few months to complete my pre-requests to graduate from college.

I was interviewed by the head of the hospital (a well-known hospital).

He was cold in the interview and I couldn’t even complete answering his questions.

After the interview ended he told me that I wasted a good part of my youth, that he could hire younger and more professional, proficient yet more mature employees than me, that I’m an 18 years old teen boy trapped in a 28 years old man body and he gave me the advice to read as much as I can of books and quality articles about general culture and the world before I reach 30 years of age as after that it becomes harder to change personally.

• 2nd one:

A year ago, I met my older brother, he’s 15 years my senior, after a long time, it was me, him (brother), and my father.

He said in an angry tone that I’m disrespectful to my elders, when I tried to speak he didn’t give me the chance, called me names, and blatantly threatened me of untold stuff to do to me, all that in front of my father.

Shortly afterwards, my father coldly chatted to my brother like nothing happened.

Be wary that my father helped my brother and gave him a villa to ease my brother marriage settling down before he’s 30 back then, while nothing to my name (I’m 30 years old now).

So I’m channeling my anger and fury against my family in the gym and aggressively reading self-help books, in the end, both those situations taught me that I’m alone in this world.

drypumpkin20 · 2018-03-23T20:15:34+00:00

The day we are born I think. But the paths we choose, to be strong, or weak, is what separates us from others.

TheRedPike · 2018-03-22T05:40:22+00:00

This isn't an interactive experience. If you are asking questions, then I'm going to ban you for not posting in asktrp. If you are asking questions to illustrate how to answer them (in your opinion) then great. I really, really think I should nuke this post but at the same time I think it would be really, really great as an OP to answer the questions and give your insight into them.

So here you go. Let's hear your detailed input on this. Golden opportunity here.

Title	When did you become a Man?
Author	kdxsh
Upvotes	93
Comments	125
Date	March 21, 2018 7:41 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8654cf/when_did_you_become_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/when-did-you-become-a-man.49301 https://theredarchive.com/post/49301

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