Can a objectively unattractive guy be ever considered high-value?

bonnie_no_shame · 2020-08-30T21:02:28+00:00

FDS criticizes males when they demand certain things from women regarding looks, emotional labour, sexual favors etc., while they don’t measure up to the same standards at all, and don’t even try to level up. When they have nothing to offer or in exchange, just high expectations and pure male entitlement. Some women prefer tall guys, some don’t.

Don’t worry too much about your teenage look, because this will naturally change over time, as you get older, and also don’t worry about your high, as it won’t change and there is nothing you can do about it. Worry about things you can control. Being HVM is about decisions you make, and these decisions are totally under your control. They are not features somebody is born with, but hard work.

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-08-30T20:27:09+00:00

I have approved this conditionally.

I'm going to need you to please point out anywhere in the sub where it's implied that height and HV status have any connection, though.

reggae-mems · 2020-08-30T22:35:12+00:00

Ofc! Fisrt of all, whatever pysicall beauty is, it means and looms diferent for every woman. Second, a hvm, is not a man that looks like the Thor actor, but a man that knows how to treat a woman, that has respect and appreciates her, gives something to the relationship, is smart, nice, has compromise in his role as a partber and doesnt become a leach. For more info on HVM, we invite you to lurk in FDS and read our posts. We love HVM :) and any man intrested in becoming one is absolutly welcome in our sub :D

Edit: you can also read the handbook if it works for you

nycgirlhere · 2020-08-31T06:20:16+00:00

Being high value has nothing to do with looks! It’s about if you are someone who is emotionally mature, financially secure, generous, kind, and loving as a person. Someone who ADDS value and doesn’t take it away. Looks as in taking care of yourself and hygiene matters. There’s someone for everyone and every look!

MACMUA · 2020-08-31T23:55:55+00:00

High value to me has nothing to do with looks. I date short men.. it’s just how you treat your lady.

Awkward_Adeptness · 2020-09-01T21:57:52+00:00

I love how the answers just in this thread itself prove that FDS is really a relatively tame and fair set of concepts (at their core). Very fair and inspiring answers.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-08-30T22:48:17+00:00

Hostileovaries · 2020-09-01T01:52:34+00:00

What makes a man high value as well as attractive varies from person to person. A lot of FDS posters often discuss HV-traits and how-to-high value and focus on behaviors rather than physical traits. At the end of the day how a person looks or how tall they are or aren't isn't going to contribute to the well being or happiness of either person in the relationship. How a man chooses to treat his partner, the people in his life, and how he contributes to his community are more reflective of whether he's a HVM then his height or his physical beauty.

adertina · 2020-09-02T03:41:28+00:00

I would say yes but if you don’t respect a woman rejecting you on the basis of looks, you can’t be. Looks are important to some women but keep in mind you’re probably not as unattractive as you think you are. Women, despite the accusations placed against us, have extremely personal and diverse tastes. It’s obvious if you see the many different male body types as Hollywood leads, and why there’s just so many subcultures of lesbians. You’re probably attractive to a few women

modernmedusaa · 2020-08-31T00:03:08+00:00

Yes but you’d be better off with the more timid type ....more of the book nerd kind. Less extrovert..is more focused on character/kindness etc.

I don’t think short unattractive/mediocre men are a good match with sassy extroverted attractive women who draw a lot of interest /attention & are pretty fussy on looks & character due to that. You won’t make the cut or you’ll be insecure the whole time & end up ditched.

Don’t end up in the ‘but I’m a NICE guy, why doesn’t stacey with all the options like me?’ category, like many delusional men who end up on the clearance shelf.

And don’t have a complex about your height- cos that often puts women off more than the lack of height itself. Don’t make it a fixation

Some women with a lot of options won’t like short guys even if they’re nice people (bc a lot of short men are insecure & do get nasty to them) & that’s their preference which they’re entitled to. However I think the more timid types aren’t as fussed a lot of time’s, so long as the guy is high value & doesn’t have a complex about it.

cryptohobo · 2020-08-31T17:40:31+00:00

Yes, see Bill Gates as an example.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-08-31T23:57:44+00:00

Everyone has already covered the main points. In any case, very few people are still in the "unattractive" category if they're still young and actually work on themselves. I feel that your wording in the title is telling. There are almost always things you can do to improve. You can still be high value but if you're insecure about your body and looks why don't you just do something about it? If your skin sucks, go see a derm. If you're unfit, get a personal trainer. Maybe your eyebrows could use some shaping, maybe you'd look better with facial hair (if you have trouble growing you can use minoxidil in some cases). Make sure your wardrobe is up to date and fits well. When you are more self-satisfied with where you are, you will project more confidence.

cellard00r18 · 2020-09-12T23:30:50+00:00

HVM does not have to do with how you look. You can’t help that. However you should be well put together in areas you can control. Hair, facial hair, nose hair tamed , unibrow gone, wash yo face, deodorant, acne control, tasteful clothes. You can’t expect a HVW unless you match that energy

goddess-of-compost · 2020-09-14T04:07:33+00:00

Of course! One thing that saddens me is that some of the most attractive traits a man can have are ones that don’t require the stereotypical things outside of a person’s control. Like good listening skills - not just staying silent while someone’s talking, but responding in a way where you know they’ve taken to heart what you’ve said, and reflect back their understanding in a way that shows care. Honestly, a man simply having the balls to show he cares - when he really means it - is behind a lot that women are looking for in a man they’d consider being with.

Another semi-related thing is psychological. Knowing your needs, feelings and motives, and being strong enough to own them. That means you can stand solid in respecting what drives you, and yet are doing it in a way that’s not pressuring others to cater to that. It’s easier to say yes to someone asking for what they want when there’s no question they’ll respect a no, and can take care of their own emotions around a disappointment. A lot of women like the combination of authenticity and that integrity.

A man who is considerate and owns his unique individuality is hands down more attractive to me than the gorgeous hot-shot lawyer.

A dude can be short but have a character that makes him far studlier than a tall guy who doesn’t hold a candle to the short guy’s integrity and people skills.

Women ready for a high quality connection tend to favor consistency, also ... trust - wanting to earn our trust, valuing it - is far more of an aphrodisiac than the vast majority of men seem to understand!

goddess-of-compost · 2020-09-14T04:12:51+00:00

And like, there are a number of women out there who really prefer height in men. While that’s not ideal for you, I completely agree with the other commenter that just letting go of these women and moving on to connecting with women who might be interested in you as you are, is going to lead to more success in the long run than focusing in the rejection and getting a complex about that. However, knowing you’re human and it’s possible that could be easier said than done, it really is worth investing in therapy to deal with things like that, building up your self-worth, to give you even more of a boost when you do find your special lady.

There really are women out there who wouldn’t rule you out as a potential date based on your height, so keep that in mind if the height thing ever gets you down.

2020-09-17T04:20:25+00:00

I have a client who I consider HV, he is not a conventionally attractive man. The way he treats his wife and his employees is what makes him HV. He is caring and empathetic in a way that most men are not.

seals77yeet · 2020-08-31T16:13:43+00:00

I was told that the fds was extremely sexist, also I checked it out and its just people hating on people that date, may I ask why it's so sexist, also another question, based upon your opinion on men and your posts, would you have to date other women?

Title	Can a objectively unattractive guy be ever considered high-value?
Author	hydrohomie1234321
Upvotes	28
Comments	34
Date	August 30, 2020 8:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/ijjju8/can_a_objectively_unattractive_guy_be_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/can-a-objectively-unattractive-guy-be-ever.1068503 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068503

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