Male. 35. Engaged. 5'10" and 170 lbs. Athletic. Got a good career, though still early in it. Been reading TRP for awhile, off and on though.

TL;DR: Broke rules (got too vulnerable, complained, looked to fiancee to validate, etc.) and now an engagement has tilted from what I'd like. She's disrespectful and gotten self-serving since the engagement (but also since I became an idiot). How do I get my power back? What advice can you say? Thank you.

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Context: Got engaged. Got too vulnerable about life, hobbies, failures, etc. with my fiancee. It's an LDR virgin Catholic, and she was dead-set on moving out here until recently, when she started panicking and trying to backtrack on her word after the ring was on her finger. "You should be chasing me", crap like that. I talked her through it but at great personal cost, and shared too much of my failures in the past and why this job is what I'm sticking with.

The girl's a virgin but she's also lost a lot of interest in the past couple weeks, and has blown up at me for wanting more sleep and getting annoyed with her for calling late; and she takes hours to get back to me via text. I literally bought her $70 worth of flowers yesterday and she doesn't get back to me for two hours when I'm chilling in the airport. It used to be when we discussed her coming out here, she wanted to come over every day. I told her that would be great. Now she backtracks and says she doesn't want to see me on her work days (3-4 days/week). It's fucking irritating and I feel ashamed I let things get to this. I've complained about my situation to her. I've vented about a lot of stuff to her, and gotten more irritable the more I've quit an addiction I had. I've gotten too fixated on her.

What do I do? I want to build power. How much do I focus on myself now? The more I put myself out there for her, it seems like she just takes it for granted. I want to pull back but do so smartly. Where I focus on myself but am not cold to her. She's sacrificing a lot to come out here, and I get that. But she is definitely replaceable.

I think part of this problem is I also idealized her initially, and am now finding out AWALT. That she's not a princess. That she's self-serving, but also that my actions have consequences. And acting like a fucking idiot (playing pokemon with her or telling her I have and play video games) was dumb. Even I cringe at that. Basically, I'm cringing even thinking about me right now.