I won’t waste your time with a victim puke.

Long story short, for years the wife has taken her rings off and moved into our sons room as response to me in most arguments. It would stay that way until I eventually cowered to her. I was trained by her. Humiliating to say but true. I unsuccessfully set the boundary to not do that and she knew it would always get me at my core.

Two years later, after a lot of work on myself and working hard to reassert that boundary she hasn’t done it for the past year and a half…until the other day.

Here’s the catch, our Anniversary is in 5 days and I have already paid and planned for an out of town excursion. Non-refundable. She still wants to go but I have made it clear to her that I am in no way taking her unless she reverses course. ie. Move your shit back into our room, put your rings back on and cut the shit. She says she’s not ready to do that ‘yet’. I know ultimatums are generally bad but I wanted to be clear with her.

Obviously I want her to comply but is this as simple as I move forward and go without her? I don’t really have any other options, do I? She’s implied we’re done for good if I go without her. I know she’s testing me. Not sure how to successfully navigate this boundary. Thoughts?