UPDATE: wife ended up faced timing me tonight in tears. She said that she feels like she is drowning between her personal life and her worklife. I took this as a comfort test and treated accordingly. It wasn't fake – I mean she seemed almost like she was going to have a nervous break down. So, thanks for the great advice from everybody and I am going to take it all into consideration. I especially liked the advice given on how to handle shit tests

First thing in the morning, she is pissed because I'm up at 7am and I usually sleep in. Then she tells me she wants some time alone on her iPad upstairs. I say fine. Then she starts going on abou how I always go up there to have a protein shake to "check on her." She basically goes on to have an arguement with herself about it while I STFU. She goes upstairs and I go up to make my protein shake 10 min later and she's on her iPad , she's against the wall on the couch so I can't see what she's doing on the iPad.

Next shit test: going to a movie, she wants me to go upstairs to get the refillable cup- she had 20 min to do it while I was in the shower. I propose she pulls out the car while I get the cup. She immediate gets pissed and says she'll get the damn cup while I pull out the car.

On the way she's still going on about how I don't give her any personal time , the only interruption was me making a protein shake. I STFU. She starts going on about how I don't answer her questions any more. I STFU and tell her we can discuss it later.

After the movie she's basically making snarky comments the whole time, and finally I get up and go for a ride in the car, she invites herself ( I should have told her I needed some alone time). We get back from the drive, and she ices me, freezes me out, gives me the cold shoulder... For hours.

Finally at bed time she starts making more disrespectful comments, and I tell her that I'm not going to tolerate the disrespect.

Then of course she turns the whole thing back at me and tells me I have zero respect for her. I tell her if she feels like have zero respect for her she shouldn't be with me. I said that if she's trying to push me to file papers, she is doing a good job. I ask her who the guy is she has in mind. I've lost frame at this point. She of course denies there is another guy.

Here's where I'm at - after reading Rollo's article about women leaving bread crumbs, I feel like she's trying to push me into filing. I told her yesterday I won't tolerate the disrespect, and today she brought the disrespect to a new level and then turned it all on me (double bind??). I don't know what to do at this point. Maybe my breaking frame was a big overreaction?

I feel like she doesn't give a fuck either way and she whats me to "kill the puppy" so she can play up the victim role with her family, friends, and coworkers.

AM I overreacting? How do I handle it from here? I'm driving her to the airport very early tomorrow and the drive is going to be brutal. Any advice based on experience is appreciated.