In the past before I had ever discovered TRP my LTR had gotten emotional during arguments and hit me a few times. She had never hurt me or done any damage. It was usually like a child throwing a hissy fit and she would throw some punches to my arms or chest. She can be crazy and for the longest time I would accept it or let it go, but since beginning to digest TRP I no longer am okay with it.

A few months ago she lashed out at me again. Hit me in the back and when I turned around to face her she caught me with a hook right in the mouth. I grabbed her forearms and restrained her while angrily telling her that she just hit me in the face and it was not okay. I left that night and slept elsewhere. Later when I calmed down I realize she does hit fairly hard. I had a huge gash inside my lip and she drew blood. The next day I called her from work and very sternly told her that what she did was completely unacceptable and that if anything like that ever happened again I would leave for good. She went quiet and then said "you're right. You're absolutely right. I never should have done that. I'm ashamed of the way that I reacted and I'll never do it again." was pretty satisfied with her response and accepted it. Something the beta me would have struggled with.

Fast forward to now. Earlier this evening we had a heated argument and she was being ridiculous. I was telling her with smart ass comments how ridiculous she was being and she lost her shit. She came storming after me and I mockingly said to her "oh no please don't hit me again" because I was being an asshole on purpose at this point using sarcasm to further enrage her. I had basically lost my frame at this point. She came up to me and instead of trying to hit me she literally spat in my face. I laughed it off and told her "real classy" and kept about my business unphased. Didn't speak to her the rest of the evening.

Now my question is I already set my boundary about the hitting and clearly this was her way of working around it. But I'm sick of the disrespect. Do I go nuclear and tell her I'm done? Or do I attempt to set the boundary again? I feel like going nuclear more and more as time goes on because it's obvious to me more than ever she's a bit psychotic and nothing is going to change. She has a lot of health issues causing her stress currently but to me that's no excuse. A psycho bitch is a psycho bitch and her lack of composure really lessens her overall value. The old me would have blamed her behaviour on her stress and the health issues which have been significantly affecting her mental health. The new me knows I deserve better and this is more unacceptable behavior from her regardless of what else is going on.

So I ask the vets here. What would you do? What are the options?

I'm ready to walk if I have to. But we have a house and two kids and while not legally married we are common law. So going nuclear will be bad no matter what. But I've accepted the real possibility of this and I'm feeling more and more comfortable with it as time goes on. Anybody experienced anything similar to this?