Dealing with Racism

Beegoop · 2020-10-13T21:21:19+00:00

What's good bro, I'm black as well.

I'ma keep it straight forward with you, a lot of the answers here are needlessly confrontational and beat around the bush when the solution is very simple.

I'm seeing a lot of rationalizing/olive-branch-extending answers here when during college, you don't owe anybody shit. If it doesn't affect your grade and peace of mind, fuck it bro. First and foremost, realize that you do not need to make a friend out of this nigga, you do not even need to make him an acquaintance. Shit, you can forget about him right now - and you very well could, because the solution is THAT simple.

Ignore it? Fuck that. Talk to him about it? Fuck that. Work on your appearance????? That implies you're the cause of him being racist, even though this kid is 100% in control of his actions. It doesn't matter what someone looks like, it's never a reason to be racist to them, that's just because the racist is exactly that, a racist. You could be the goofiest scrawniest lil nigga ever, but that's no reason for someone to think they can be racist towards you. That's just retarded reasoning, and definitely not advice from a black person, bet my left nut. Let that speak a little bit on why racism exists in general, some people are just gonna be like that (this).

So here's the solution:

Targeted racism on a videocall? Simply record it, and send it to your professor and/or university officials. Whoever the fuck it is that can do something about this, send it to them.

Fuck that nigga. Fuck does it matter if he was your friend? He's obviously not. As you said no one in your group even knows each other, you have nothing to lose by letting this bitch ass nigga lay in the bed he made after talking foolish over group chat.

You owe it to yourself - not your blackness - to not let shit like that slide if you can do something about it, and you definitely can.

All you have to do is record the meeting for him to start going off again, and send that video through an email to your professor. It's that simple. Fuck that nigga, don't give him the time of day.

It made you look like a chump because that's exactly how you acted. You literally let him disrespect you, and you "agreed and amplified."

Bruh...This is not a bitch you're trying to smash.... This is a nobody going out of his way to disrespect you for no reason, in the stupidest of ways...

I can already tell you thought that shit was more corny than hurtful. I can tell, because I know how it goes. It's not exhausting because they get under your skin, it's exhausting because niggas really be goofy like that. Ignoring problems do not make problems go away, end that shit.

Even if you're the funniest nigga alive and shoot back at him, it's not going to be worth it, you're not going to gain anything from this. I promise you, dealing with the groupwork itself is a harder issue than dealing with this guy.

Use the resources available to you, don't just sit there and take it. There's no reason to.

For what it's worth too bro, while this little network here is great for multiple different reasons, you are most definitely in the wrong place asking a question like this (specifically this) here. You're getting answers from non-black people telling you to "just ignore it bro," or "talk to him about it." If I have to explain to you why this might be an issue of sorts, I'd sooner leave you to their advice honestly. But, I said what I needed to say. Ultimately how you react to people treating you is up to you, so if you want to be passive about it, go ahead, but in blatant situations like this, what's the point? This isn't some random drunk at the bar, this is a guy you're forced to work with.

If this was an office setting, one trip to HR and the guy would be out the building. Why just "deal with it" when you don't have to?

NovaNivea · 2020-10-13T18:48:13+00:00

Your first issue is looking like someone that people can crack racist jokes at and get away with it.

Either your physique, body language or voice is off. Work on it now and I'll be better in a year times.

From here on, whenever he says something racist, just ignore it. Not ignore it but look and act butt-hurt, just act like he never said it, imagine he just coughed or something.

KeyRepresentative · 2020-10-13T19:22:52+00:00

In your workgroup you are already higher on the hierarchy. He’s using this to bolster himself.

Ask him or someone who laughed to explain the joke to you.

Or, flat out tell him to take his racist shit somewhere else.

*edit. Don’t agree and amplify in this situation- know the rules. If you retaliate in a classroom setting, this can violate university rules and you can be subject to discipline. Just set a hard boundary, or make everyone uncomfortable with this guy.

muricanwerewolf1 · 2020-10-13T20:07:05+00:00

I can’t remember what the joke was but years ago I remember a guy who was kind of a friend of a friend got in on a roast of me that a friend of mine was making, and it was exactly as it is in this case, a dude assuming familiarity when there is none. I gave him the coldest, deadest eyes I could manage and asked “what the FUCK did you just say about me? Do you know me like that?”. He immediately became very apologetic and I’ve never had that problem again with him.

It’s an idea. I don’t know what it’s like to be black though, I don’t know if you want to be perceived as the aggressive black guy.

Fxxlings_22 · 2020-10-13T20:05:24+00:00

Instead of The Korean guy sticking with you he's the one cracking jokes? Wow, Korean people are victims to racist jokes all the time, one of them is being called Chinese on purpose.

Odys · 2020-10-13T18:37:22+00:00

I would talk to him alone about it; why he does this. I would not be surprised if he had to deal with racism himself.

Drewsef916 · 2020-10-13T19:14:44+00:00

As in from Korea? or Korean American. If hes an international student ....people from countries where there is no melting pot have a higher tendency to be tone deaf about racial comments and humor. I wouldn't look to much into it except that its just this guy being a FOB

If he's american then hes just a racist asshole.. go to the admins about racial discrimination, in the current climate you should be able to have this guy by the balls and be able to dictate what terms you want to meet in order not to make it a huge deal to look bad on the university

StellarBella277 · 2020-10-13T19:49:59+00:00

Bro I’m actually most astounded at the fact you’ve never experienced racism in your life to this point!

As sad as it is, growing up racial abuse was normal for me. Idk if you just got lucky or people around you weren’t brave enough to do it to your face.

I’m not sure if it’s a good thing for you or not, I feel like for me, racism taught me to always be careful, especially in places where I am the minority (which is basically everywhere where I’m from). It taught me a lot of life lessons but I did used to wish I never had to endure it.

Honestly, I’d just call the guy out next time. Next time he says something you you find unacceptable, call him the fuck out. In front of the group. Once people know you aren’t happy about it you’ve set a boundary. From that point anyone who crosses that boundary is being a douche. If it continues you escalate it. Simple as that. Unfortunately for some people you can’t tell them in a way that will make them stop.

I had a co-worker who was kept making racist comments to me. I set the boundary. He crossed it. I called him out. He continued. I escalated to management, and he doesn’t work there now. Sometimes that’s the only way people will learn.

Nergaal · 2020-10-13T18:59:42+00:00

don't you have a starcraft match to be at, ching chong?

2020-10-13T19:55:06+00:00

[deleted]

theoriginalkingcoder · 2020-10-13T18:41:30+00:00

[deleted]

HoedownInBrownTown · 2020-10-13T19:58:29+00:00

Give it him back. He's Asian you've got no shortage of material, and if the group is mostly white they'll find that just as funny, seeing you give him some of his own shit.

Savaaage · 2020-10-13T20:07:50+00:00

Call him zipperhead back

javascript_dev · 2020-10-13T20:08:29+00:00

if he's bantering, banter back. If he's throwing low blows, throw one back. i think proportionality applies here

ironicmemes · 2020-10-13T20:26:49+00:00

Call him a zipperhead and remind him what happened during the Korean War. Not even kidding, counter racism with stronger racism. Works great

deeznutsbeswingin · 2020-10-13T20:32:21+00:00

Just ask him why he’s being such a micropeen in front of the group

tdreampo · 2020-10-13T20:41:56+00:00

Again this is trp side bar 101, agree an amplify or ignore, why waste brain cells on this nonsense. Grow some thicker skin and move on.

redvelvet_oreo · 2020-10-13T19:27:01+00:00

Well what did the guy say?

Hard to know since alot of people take everything as a racist remark now at days.

Im black and me and my HS friends (2002) always joked about each others races Spanish, black, white. That's just how people test and fuck with each other.

What you need to analyze better was the guy trying to disrespect you or just shit test you in a joking way?

Having a weak come back can make you look like a chump or butt hurt.

spacemangoes · 2020-10-13T19:42:12+00:00

people outside US don't actually care about racism that much. US has become so sensitive. but, nevertheless, you are not comfortable, just say it out straight, agreed=ing and amplifiuing is not how you would hold the frame here. say this~ look bro, I don't know how it works back in your country but, here, it's considered pretty rude and racist if you say something like that and I would appreciate it you stop saying '~whatever he said'~ like that. No hard feelings. I would like for us to be friends but, this is not something I am ok with.

Andrew54321 · 2020-10-13T19:46:17+00:00

I’d fire back with some racism of my own.

Ask him how he got the textbook on audio bc he obv cant read w his eyes shut

needless_pickup_line · 2020-10-13T20:27:39+00:00

Record the next meeting. Be professional and don't engage when he says something racist. Afterwards get a second opinion from POC friends to make sure it's not all in your head. Then report him with the evidence to your college's office for diversity/equity/inclusion/etc.

MG_X · 2020-10-13T19:26:37+00:00

Probably a straight forward response without the sarcasm or insults will be the best received... and in front of the others is fine... next time he says something, just say, hey, I don’t know you very well, but what you are saying comes across as racist and insulting... I would appreciate if you refrain from offensive comments as it’s both rude and shows insecurity on your part... if you want to discuss further, I would be happy to have a private conversation with you after this meeting ...

He won’t want to have that discussion... he will feel embarrassed in front of the others, and you handled it professionally without reproach....

empatheticapathetic · 2020-10-13T20:27:35+00:00

He’s doing it because he’s determined you won’t fight back even though you have a cultural advantage over him (black>Asian in the west).

Why are you letting him get away with it?

This is a social fitness test and you’re failing by being unable to challenge him in a socially acceptable way. You even have leeway to be more of a dominant asshole because of your blackness.

You’re gonna have to learn to fight back at some point. People are going to be racist to you until the day you die.

WhatRemainsAfter · 2020-10-13T20:50:55+00:00

Either don't be butthurt just because you have been taught being black is wrong.

Or

Just say it outright infront of everyone, 'listen my Chinese friend, if i were you, i would tread very careful from here on'.

This will singal everyone that you don't take shit, don't entertain shit. Probably few might respect you more.

Just don't use this as an excuse to befriend people. Be serious and take no shit.

You have a upper hand here esp due to recent episodes. Hell, you can get some sympathy sex from liberal chic if you play cards right.

Cheers.

Rimefang · 2020-10-13T20:53:51+00:00

I'd give him angry eyes and say sternly:

"I'm only going to say this once: I do not appreciate your sense of humor.

Knock.

It.

Off."

Then again, that's just me. I am an angry individual.

LongLiveDetroit · 2020-10-13T20:57:19+00:00

I would've just said something racist back, how big are you anyways? If you a big black nigga you should've just punked his ass.

BornShook · 2020-10-13T21:02:03+00:00

Idk bro try not to take shit so seriously. Just make some small pp Asian jokes if you get the chance lol.

Rock_Granite · 2020-10-13T21:06:48+00:00

I guarantee you that the rest of the group was very uncomfortable with this and wished the Korean guy would have shut up. Even if you don't say anything to him, just know that everyone else is on your side. Most people are not racist and hate racism.

But if I were in your shoes I would have said "those jokes are pretty racist and I don't appreciate it. I am going to ask you to stop it immediately".

cowarrior1 · 2020-10-13T21:19:27+00:00

Most of the time bro it wound unconscious specially if they just came from Korea. If thats the case, just be front and say thats not cool

Ask_For_Cock_Pics · 2020-10-13T21:33:51+00:00

I'm also a black guy. I don't do zoom, but this is advice in general: Don't PC your response. If you're insulted, let him know. End of story. You feel like a chump because you weren't stern enough to put your foot down.

319Skew · 2020-10-13T21:41:47+00:00

I don't know. Today's day and age people are way too damn sensitive. I'm curious to hear what kind of jokes or insults were done.

Some people are inept socially, and may not have any scenarios where they were told what's appropriate. I mean, you haven't dealt with racism till now is an example.

Before anyone jumps at my throat, I grew up in the 80s where I was bullied for being the only dark kid (mixed) to the point where I cut my own curly hair to fit in. I dealt with white supremacy and have been picked on by black gangs for not being the right kind of black. Even been jumped for it.

I have been mocked and insulted by various minorities and I'm still here.

So, if it was an attack, I'd address it as such and call him out or warn him first. Poking fun with friends is fun but with a stranger who is malicious, pointless. You would have a much better time just kicking him from the group or lodging a complaint.

If that isn't your jam, you can always challenge him to a game of starcraft.

pehsxten · 2020-10-13T21:54:02+00:00

Whered you grow up my dude. You gotta roast his ass back.

Casanova-Quinn · 2020-10-13T22:02:38+00:00

In a group setting, one of the best ways to handle insulting jokes is to make them explain the joke. Play dumb and respond with, "What do you mean?". Now he has explain his bad joke, which will either make him look like a racist jerk in front of everyone, or he'll fumble around with his words trying to save face and look stupid.

Xxdaunknown1307xX · 2020-10-13T22:30:42+00:00

If he's attacking you based on your race or color just put a stop it and stand up for yourself. Why are you asking white folks this question when they've never been in positions like this.

BlondeHornyElf · 2020-10-13T22:53:40+00:00

imo within the next 100 years black people are gonna realize whites overall are actually really fucking nice

GunTotingFarmer · 2020-10-13T22:58:26+00:00

Start making Asian jokes

Transport127 · 2020-10-13T23:16:05+00:00

I know most universities have little or zero tolerance for racism. So I would record videos and report him to not just your professor but also management. You shouldn’t care about this clown being expelled from school. He clearly doesn’t care about your feelings

drv12021 · 2020-10-13T23:22:29+00:00

Be straight forward. If you don't like it, I'm sure others will get uncomfortable as well. I'm asian myself and I like to joke around racist stuffs with my black friends only because I know them and they are comfortable with it by playfully teasing me back the racist jokes as well. So, if you don't like something, say something. Closed mouths don't get fed.

JameisBong · 2020-10-14T00:02:34+00:00

Bro tell that korean nigga to STFU and you don't appreciate his brand of humor. As an elderly millennial, i didn't really have those problems in college. I was a big black dude, people rarely fucked with me even as a joke.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2020-10-14T00:22:05+00:00

Let him know to stop that noise mayne. Racism is not cool. How would he like it if you start making ching ching jokes and asking if he likes his dog with sweet n sour sauce?

Everybody's red on the inside.

Good luck,stay safe

Purplegetraenk · 2020-10-14T00:39:06+00:00

Not all asian guys are racist. There are assholes of every ethnicity.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-10-14T00:40:17+00:00

Racism is a definitely a thing in Korea. although to be fair most people look pretty similar in that county.

They don't like the Japanese, don't like the Chinese. South Koreans don't like North Koreans although most people know someone with relatives in the north if they don't themselves. So there's definitely a history of xenophobia. Love/hate relationship with Americans, like the pop culture but think you're an uncultured troglodyte if you actually come there. Although it's not usually overt.

So yeah, he's a little bitch and he's trying to take you down a peg because something something insecurities.

Should Roast the guy back. "Hey what's the best way to cook ramen?"

Feel free to trash talk him ocassionally. He earned that level of respect from you. Just don't overdo it and risk sounding butthurt.

MHGEyoutube · 2020-10-14T00:53:26+00:00

You should've clowned him on being an asian man which means he's pretty undesirable to women. Or clowned him on his height. Clown him on anything. In my experience asian dudes are pretty corny and finish deaf lady at most things that aren't school.

jackandjill22 · 2020-10-14T01:26:23+00:00

If it gets really bad crack one back. Be prepared for backlash but it'll shut his Fucking mouth.

krayono · 2020-10-14T01:34:23+00:00

Universities are largely very liberal. Record what he does and report him. He’ll be done. Use your minority card to your advantage.

2020-10-14T01:35:35+00:00

I'm honestly surprised that commenters here are saying that you should ruin somebody's life because of a silly joke.

Milf_Hunter_Kakyoin- · 2020-10-14T03:00:35+00:00

Asians are supper resist, every Asian hate even every other Asian ethnicity

people say Americans are racist, but we are the racist racist as a population, we only think about racism more even Europe is super racist

honestly, just ignore him, in the states, everyone will hate him, unless your group is all Chinese or Korean, they are so racist, they have laundry detergent commercials where black guys go in the laundry and come out Asian when they are clean though if a blonde goes to Asia they are not racist at all , they want to take pics with you and treat you like a celebrity

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2020-10-14T03:19:40+00:00

why would you agree and amplify to racism, just call him out

Rodent9 · 2020-10-14T03:20:30+00:00

Call him a bug eyed gook

catsdontsmile · 2020-10-14T03:20:40+00:00

Flat out tell him in front of others that you'd like for him to stop making racist comments.

TXJohn83 · 2020-10-14T03:38:48+00:00

Racism and sexism are both not real and are constructs used by beta simps to try and explain the world.

Stop sucking down on that Korean dick bro and get back to living life.

AltruisticBeautiful7 · 2020-10-13T18:50:49+00:00

Call it straight away next time he does it, and then "Or should i speak about your little asian worm too?" just to break the ice built

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-10-13T19:46:34+00:00

So culturally, Asians are racist as fuck. Sorry, not sorry, it's true. There's a comedian (Russell Peters?) who riffs on how the biggest lie ever told was convincing White people that they are the most racist, when it's really Asians.

There are a few ways to go about it.

Contact him privately and just say "Hey, we're cool, but you need to zero-out the racist stuff." Not recommended if you don't have any kind or relationship with him now. If you have a friend in common I might suggest using him as a "go-between."

/u/CraziDiamond's suggestion is a good one, alternatively you could day, "Hey, I don't mind being poked fun at, but I do require that the jokes be...y'know...FUNNY. As opposed to just...y'know...STUPID."

Finally, you can just call him out on it, e.g. "Hey, {name}, I've been black my whole life, so maybe you could dial back the racial humor? I've heard it all before."

I held frame; agreed and amplified, however in this situation I think he made me look like a chump.

He probably made other people on the call uncomfortable, but very few white people are going to get involved in "minority on minority crime", because the second one of us palefaces says anything on this topic we're automatically wrong.

Can you give us a couple of examples of shit he says or is likely to say? That way we can give you specific counters.

BritishBotWriter · 2020-10-13T19:25:14+00:00

Just ignore it you're going to look like an SJW if you start moaning about it

Quantum_Jiraiya · 2020-10-13T19:45:53+00:00

dont worry about it. record and send it in to admin. if you arent actually friends it is extremely unprofessional and will be immediately dealt with.

spedoid · 2020-10-13T20:15:25+00:00

Lots of asian people hate black people. The good news is asian people are easy as fuck to make fun of. Don't get offended just give him shit back and smile. He wi either fuck off or be your friend.

JTCX · 2020-10-13T20:28:31+00:00

Call him out for BS. I don’t t get it. What do you mean?

OneTrueQ · 2020-10-13T22:27:43+00:00

This isn’t pickup brother. You are a chump for agreeing and amplifying. Anybody who chooses to be a racist should be made to regret that decision. Especially this fucker doesn’t know you? I’d make a bitch out of him. This is a violation also of any university policy. So make sure he gets the punishment associated with that. This bullshit shouldn’t fly at all and you have a right to be pissed off and respond accordingly but escalating the situation to a higher-up.

Nergaal · 2020-10-13T19:45:40+00:00

I don't know if this IS a good answer, but if an Asian guy is racist to you, you can reverse it by saying, "hey dude, being racist will not grow your dick size from well below average".

pointingklpllp · 2020-10-13T19:08:58+00:00

Hey man, so much for shit teats. I am minority where I live and I would not take racist comments anyone.

My advice to you is speak to the guy directly and say you find his commwnts insulting and ask for an apology. If he doesnt apologise speak to the University for bullying and racism, he will get into allot of trouble. Make sure you have evidence though

Title	Dealing with Racism
Author	MaybeOlajuwon
Upvotes	61
Comments	156
Date	October 13, 2020 6:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/jajg73/dealing_with_racism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-racism.747363 https://theredarchive.com/post/747363

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