How common are flakes/let downs for you guys?

retrozeee · 2020-11-19T04:44:21+00:00

2 reasons:

They’re on tinder to get orbiters & don’t want to link up (not your fault)
You may be coming off as desperate or you’re texting them more than needed for logistics.

Once you get their # from tinder, text them the following day to set up a date.

Once they agree on a day & time. Don’t text until day of date to confirm.

Btw, It’s always better to invite them to something you’re doing, so regardless of if they flake, it won’t phase you bc you’re still having fun

GymSharkPornstar · 2020-11-19T04:27:09+00:00

Yeah honestly sounds ridiculous but u have to keep going

Ur_X · 2020-11-19T07:01:25+00:00

Yeah man I wouldn’t take it personal. Until they have officially met you you’re just pixels on her screen and just one more guy from the 15 she has waiting. Women have an inherent sense of abundance so flaking on you is fine because tomorrow she could meet someone else.

I’m trying to include calling them before setting up the date and after getting their numbers to establish some sort of comfort and rapport. Your voice may be what is needed to lock em

paizk · 2020-11-19T04:59:25+00:00

Out of the 7 first dates I set up from OLD in recent memory 2 flaked.

That being said, this shit comes in waves bro. I've had times where I get like 5 first date lays in a row, get constantly ghosted on all apps for like 2 weeks then get a shit load of dates stacked up but they're all prudes/have ridiculous ASD etc.

Just keep passively grinding it out. After a certain point this shit is just random.

Ryzza778 · 2020-11-19T06:28:41+00:00

Honestly who cares man if they flaked on you its a good thing. Why would you want to spend your valuable time on women who are going to act like this from the get go?

Set dates with women who don't beat around the bush and that have high interest in you

cydestiny · 2020-11-19T04:59:08+00:00

Yeap. Until you actually meet and fuck, just ignore it.

Set up dates with multiple woman, only attend the one you like the most, give stupid reason for the one you wish to fuck some day and don't reply to those you think are okay or low interest (on your side or her side).

BUT dont let things eat up too much mental energy, the whole interaction from getting the number to date should be fun, if at any point you sense low interest, move on.

Spend 10% or less of your time hunting, getting numbers and dates. The act of hunting even if you didn't get any dates is better than putting too much fuck on them. If you get frustrated not getting any, change your strategy, always be experimenting.

TheRedPillRipper · 2020-11-19T05:36:39+00:00

I’m fully dressed and ready to go.

Then go. Every obstacle is an opportunity if you frame it so. Personally if I get dressed up I’m going. Someone always comments/compliments which is always a great ice beaker.

hard not to get disheartened

Luckily for us feelz are fleeting. Learn to master your emotions and you’re halfway there.

Godspeed and good luck!

GickyRervais · 2020-11-19T09:19:52+00:00

yeah I will be honest with you, it happens a lot, its a numbers game!

When I first started OLD the first 2 girls I spoke to I went on dates with, no flakes, but also no lay. Then the next 6 in a row all flaked right before the date and I was gutted, I couldn't understand, but I kept pushing on. Now I'm talking to multiple girls and I've got laid twice this month! Which is good for me considering I haven't got laid this year haha!

Optionsmfd · 2020-11-19T11:36:29+00:00

once u get older the desire to keep grinding for a chance at pussy goes way down.... then u ask yourself if its really worth all the hassle

SalesAficionado · 2020-11-19T13:47:21+00:00

Women are like the wind. You can't really give a fuck or rely on them. Be a mountain. Focus on your purpose and next them if they flake.

fuddubandha · 2020-11-19T14:04:48+00:00

Fuck single moms and dump them

carolixna · 2020-11-19T14:54:54+00:00

Get off Tinder, there isn’t quality on there in the first place.

OlderRedBrother · 2020-11-19T15:31:16+00:00

Should we consider double/triple booking on say, a wednesday evening? that way, YOU’RE the one that flakes on a girl instead of vice versa.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2020-11-19T05:08:11+00:00

It's important to mention your region as location/culture has a lot to do with it. I am from and have lived in California, just moved away from Mexico City to a Mexican beach town. In California, getting dates setup was difficult but once set the flake rates weren't too bad. In Mexico City, 60-70% of dates flake. In the mexican beach town I am in, about 30% of dates flake. My player friends(some of whom have notch counts well over 100) notice the same numbers in Latin America.

Social media and dating apps have increased flake rates big time and flakey cultures like Latin America are like that anyway.

Key is to setup multiple dates on the same day close to your place, and don't leave your apartment until they text "here" or "on the way".

Vynxe-Vainglory · 2020-11-19T08:42:52+00:00

I haven't had a flake in ages, but letdowns are a different story.

IntrepidLawyer · 2020-11-19T11:45:28+00:00

100% of the time

Either she screws up the meet by some idiotic excuse or gets fucked off by my ignoring her even before the meet, because she was obviously only wasting my time with no intention to ever put out (most of them are, attention whoring by definition).

Just text to arrange logistics, if she is not down to meet, it is another faker just wasting your time. I prefer to play it fast like this and force her hand, because the one in 1000 which is normal WILL want to meet with you when she wants to bang you asap.

NeuroMnemonic7 · 2020-11-19T14:38:12+00:00

Unfortunately, very common.

AuberyBitoni · 2020-11-19T17:25:23+00:00

Girls I meet through dating apps : Around 60% flakes.

Girls I meet in real life: Like only 10% flake.

DevilMayCry · 2020-11-19T08:45:26+00:00

Super normal. Keep trying.

Datavordic · 2020-11-19T09:13:14+00:00

Do they offer alternative dates ? It's pandemic dating,tough for a lot of folks dont worry about it, find out what you are doing wrong try to improove. Dont let it get to you bro.

ProFriendZoner · 2020-11-19T09:19:01+00:00

Still happens but not nearly as much as before. I vet out women quite a bit before asking them out.

ollyollyollyoioioi · 2020-11-19T11:22:33+00:00

I became the flake now what do I do?

Sin-Silver · 2020-11-19T12:00:31+00:00

It's easier for a girl to agree to a date and then bottle for whatever reason than to actively say 'no'. I consider myself good with women, but I have it in my head that they will flake 50% of the time regardless of what you do.

Best thing to do it always have a back up plan. If a girl flakes, make sure you you have some fun/exciting to do as an alternative, go visit a plate, see if your friends up for a quick drink. Always have something better to do that spend time with girls.

secureMPC · 2020-11-19T13:23:31+00:00

I've honestly never been flaked, and have been on probably 20 tinder dates. Maybe that means I have a streak like yours coming.

4everrekt · 2020-11-19T14:15:41+00:00

Flakes are common in general, the girls you're (we're) meeting are living disorganized lives.

When you ask, they are absolutely 100% down for it. When the time comes, they feel a different way, due to any of a million different reasons, especially the young girls bc they're trying to figure themselves out.

My advice would be to develop hobbies that you can enjoy by yourself, that you can potentially include a girl in. When you invite a girl out, invite her to that thing. If she flakes, you've lost nothing since you were gonna go anyway.

If she does flake, go NC. No call, no show = termination. When she reaches back out (they all do, I've had one reach out years later), don't be mad, just go on and on about how much fun you're having, and legitimately mean it.

FOMO takes care of the rest. Anything from her that's not 100% agreeableness should be responded to with indifference. I'm not gonna go back and forth trying to get you to have a good time, lady. Turn your read receipts on

ForYourSorrows · 2020-11-19T15:09:16+00:00

9 Times out of 10 when this happens it’s because their first option became available. Sometimes you may even be better than the first option but they have already been on a date or have history with the other guy. This happened to me a couple times. Girl is seeing a couple guys, i come in after the first guy and he just decided to focus all in on her while I was still dating around and so she ends up dating him and shutting all the other guys out (me included). It happens. I’ve done it to other girls as well it’s just life.

Don’t worry about how much you’re texting them. I know this sub masturbates over “logistics only” but as long as you’re not coming off desperate, which I agree can be hard for new guys or actually desperate guys, you can text quite a bit without derailing anything.

Personally I prefer to spend some time getting to know them over text so I know whether I’m going to invest the time over a date. If we can’t click over text I’m not gonna spend an hour or two with them plus all the other time and effort investment to meet in person.

CasuallyObliterated · 2020-11-19T15:47:49+00:00

Yeah get used to it, girls flake a lot. I just chalk it up to "the nature of the game".

supersoup- · 2020-11-19T16:20:32+00:00

Haha that’s been me for the past 8 months... I see it as the universe telling me to stay on purpose since I’m busy almost everyday with my routine

MrAnderzon · 2020-11-19T16:52:09+00:00

I’m gonna post this every time there’s a texting question.

http://web.archive.org/web/20200809180203/http://authorcloud.co/MrVs-Guide-To-Texting-Girls-dq16ldatn

Coppal · 2020-11-19T18:14:11+00:00

Thanks for the responses my bros, appreciate it. Sometimes you think all the stuff about womens true nature might be exaggerated, till you witness first hand that RP knowledge really is the real deal. Just gotta accept it and power through

willwang2020 · 2020-11-19T19:58:58+00:00

Quite common when I first entered this area but now once I set up a date with someone, they almost will show up and not flake as before. I think the problem is don’t let that idea puzzles you if they flake. Once someone flake just delete the chats and move on. Then you won’t count the number

Casanova-Quinn · 2020-11-19T20:42:14+00:00

Don't worry about it brother. Think about it like this:

You had 5 out of 5 girls flake. Well if you set up 5 more dates, and 2 girls don't flake, your success rate is now 20% (2 out of 10). It's all about perspective. Don't focus too hard on the short term situation. Keep going.

jasondougies · 2020-11-20T11:40:07+00:00

it's not just you man. but in the moment you really do feel the world is against you.

Jdamoftruth · 2020-11-19T11:14:41+00:00

I have been flaked so much recently. 5 tinder dates flaked me 5 times in a row

Dude it's tinder....you deserve all the misfortune you get by being on that shitty app. Value your time and quit wasting it.

It's common for online dating. Not common for me. Low smv can contribute to this as well

Rohan98k · 2020-11-19T04:48:48+00:00

Be sure to remove and block their numbers immediately. I find that most chicks that do that will flake on you, and then next thing you know you're hanging out with some other girl weeks later and all of a sudden they'll call you out of the blue like nothing happened. And now your current chick is looking at you funny. Happened to me, I tried to play it off by not answering and the silly thot called twice. The girl i was with started asking dumb questions. Block flakes don't let them come back, all they're gonna do is flake again or inconvenience you.

dolmino91 · 2020-11-19T07:46:09+00:00

5 tinder dates flaked me 5 times in a row

You are a low value beta to them - you were their backup free drinks if their jock didn't come through.

Coppal · 2020-11-19T04:33:30+00:00

[deleted]

Title	How common are flakes/let downs for you guys?
Author	Coppal
Upvotes	78
Comments	62
Date	November 19, 2020 4:23 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/jwvyz5/how_common_are_flakeslet_downs_for_you_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-common-are-flakeslet-downs-for-you-guys.733027 https://theredarchive.com/post/733027

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