To have kids or not

FieldLine · 2020-01-13T23:16:51+00:00

[removed]

PrettyBarbiePerson · 2020-01-13T21:51:03+00:00

Kids will fill you with something no woman or material item can

woodencrown · 2020-01-13T23:19:16+00:00

I have a son and hands down it is hard as fuck but also the best thing ever. You have no idea how good it feels to have your own son fall over cause he's so happy just to see you or come hug you when work has been hard.

I recommend having a kid if you have all other things sorted first and it sounds like you do.

juliank47 · 2020-01-14T00:36:58+00:00

What you have to realize is that once you have a child in your life, you will never be the first priority for your wife. Never again. In a RP relationship this roughly translates to instead of spending her time looking to please you, she is occupied with your child. Then again, life is about so much more than just yourself and it’s amazing to watch your fanily grow.

ChunsLLC · 2020-01-14T00:16:11+00:00

Don't EVER settle for a less than your ideal girl. Whatever physical attributes you want(race, height, size,..etc) and she has to be of your intelligence level, college educated, career, and will stick around then things get hard. You have been in a marriage before, just find a better one.

Enjoy that single life until you find that one special girl to tie the knot with. A man with value will ALWAYS have options to find a young and very fertile woman for your children, no matter your age. Find one that will treat you and your future children with proper respect and care.

Every man is programmed to passed on his genes, it's just our nature. Takes a substantial event to change your mind. I have one kid and a vasectomy. They are a pain to raise, even with a great woman.

For now, freeze your youthful sperm if you so with, its cheap. And don't impregnate the wrong ho.

svenfromaccounting · 2020-01-13T21:41:19+00:00

you're well educated yourself man. Get a prenup. Get a woman you think makes for a good mate with kids. Do your business with her as you see fit. You are the man

porkmissiles · 2020-01-14T00:55:21+00:00

I think the most important thing to consider is finding a wife who won't constantly give you shit and is smart and organized enough that she can handle the kids during the day without calling/ texting every hour asking when you're going to be home to help.

My advice to you is likely a bit different than others might give: I would prioritize this single trait over anything else. Believe me when I say that this is way more important than having a 10 as a wife. Now I'm not suggesting you get yourself a hairy sweaty landwhale but it's way more important that she has the child rearing abilities to allow you to properly provide for the family.

I can't tell you how many guys I know who are rushing home from work, never working out and generally miserable because their wives are total anxious cunts. You do not want this.

Also I would recommend that you look closely for signs of any mental illness. Anxiety, depression, borderline personality and narcissism are all traits that will make you wish you'd stayed single. This is always true but it's 100x more true when she's responsible for raising your kids. Mental illness and child rearing are not compatible.

I will say that having kids is hard but there has never been a greater joy and sense of purpose in my life. Don't rush into it and remember that as a male you have time.

mickenrorty · 2020-01-14T03:23:16+00:00

Divorced dad here. I fucked up and married a hoe, and you can’t make a hoe a housewife.

I do love my son (he’s 2.5yo) but my quality of life dropped drastically after divorce.

If I were to do it again, I would make CERTAIN that I married a women who adored me and came from a poor background with a low paying job, ideally from a poorer country like the Phillipines. I’d want her to be attractive but I’d actually try to avoid the 10/10 attractive ones (especially if they care about their insta image)

I would want her to be a motherly type character not interested in competing with me but rather interested in helping me help her and the child(s). Doesn’t have to be subservient, just has to have a high value on a family unit built into her very nature.

If she’s impressed with burritos at the beach for the first date, if she doesn’t have insta, if she values family and adores me, If her hourly wage is 1/8th what I earn, I think I’m on to a winner....

This is all generally speaking here but yea, never marry a girl from money, let her be some other guys nightmare with the inevitable divorce.

Get yourself a cute Asian girl from a poor background and look after her as you should if she is to be the mother of your child, never take her for granted and you’ve got a winner

FereallyRed · 2020-01-14T13:22:31+00:00

Never had kids, never wanted kids. I'm almost 50. Vasectomy in my mid 30's.

My life story is here.

Your post is full of feel good platitudes like "legacy" and "pass on your genes" and daydreaming about how great they'll be.

Think about what those words actually mean.

The decision is of course yours, but try did down to what you want, not what society expects or has planted in your head.

McVaghunter · 2020-01-14T14:58:33+00:00

My disappointment in the top comments is immeasurable, yet I'm not surprised. I expected more of this subreddit but deep down I always knew TRP was just another reddit forum, and like the rest of reddit it's filled with normies who are destined to live an average blue pill life: Sacrificing their sexual freedom in exchange of attempting to build a family. Deep down the mods, the endorsed fags, the top comments crave the white picket fence lifestyle and are terrified of spinning plates.

Scientifically speaking, you only live once, only a fool would spend that one life serving others instead of serving himself. But hey, without you fools I won't be able to spin your teenage daughters a couple decades from now... So thank you for your sacrifice and service.

WolfofAllStreetz · 2020-01-14T02:15:50+00:00

I love my daughter more than life itself but holy shit is it a lot of work. If you choose the wrong mate you are fucked. Luckily my wife is awesome but man I know some people in bad spots.

Velebit · 2020-01-14T00:51:01+00:00

Fatherhood is what makes a man. It is the hardest and most challenging but also most rewarding if you do it right and can be quite punishing if you fail, especially if you are mushy sentimental type.

It is the most undervalued thing in todays society. In popular culture fathers are almost universally shown as goofs, irrelevant, unappreciated and hardly role models. Just think of all the shows ranging from sitcoms to serious dramas. Al Bundies, Homer Simpsons, Raymonds. At best, a father is shown as a stoic provider, somewhere in the background of family and society, sending a check, basically being the emotionless and distant engine of the ship, at worst the father figure is the repository of all the worst trait a feminist misandrist can think of... violent, drunk, neglectful, disloyal, unsophisticated, tolerated by his betters.

The only people breeding at above replacement rates are those who are far right or religious and those who are very low on IQ. First group because of evolutionarily adaptive ideas of placing value on continuity, blood and genes but also on idealistic interpersonal relationships. The second group because of literal inability to use contraception with discipline and the incentive of child support payments that are big compared to what a very dumb person can earn. IQ corelated with discipline as well.

If you are religious you know you are commanded to multiply and not just to have one but MULTIPLY to grow your numbers. That means 2 at least, 3 to guarantee it as not everyone will be fertile/breed/reach age of fertility.

If you are an atheist then you know you are genes. You are not the show going on in your mind, in your conscienteousness. You thinking does not mean you are. Your thoughts are merely a result of using language, literally talking to yourself. Without language, a TOOL that humans invented, you would not be thinking, you would merely be following your natural priorities. You, as an organism would also not be so easily subverted by other human tools, such as (destructive and antihuman) culture and with it ideas that rearrange priorities from gene continuation (evolutionarily adaptive healthy behavior) to wasteful hobbies and pet projects coupled with stimulating nerves by various hedonisms and luxuries (unadaptive sick behavior).

Your kids are you. The memories, which are merely how neurons arranged inside your brain will not be transmitted down, but that is irrelevant. Your kids are literally you mixed in with the best genes you could find, shaped by the closest thing this world has to magic.

Imagine a dog who does not desire to breed, it would be obvious something is wrong with them. It would not be convincing to rationalize away that the dog 'simply' enjoys walks and running after a ball more. Or that the dog is disappointed by the unfair nature of bitches and how they might treat him. Yet with humans, with liberal and silly idea of us somehow being outside nature, there is rationalization that it is not an obvious and critical sickness at play, whatever the rationalization behind it, but some free will thing with instant shaming of whoever wentsofar as to question the privacy and intent of the sick animal to not reproduce.

Humanity will not disappear, it is simply some groups that will be phased out due to their sick leanings and other groups will trimph, like always in history, destroying everything what the phased out group left behind.

SalporinRP · 2020-01-14T00:31:02+00:00

Just got into the situation knowing that when you have a kid you are sacrificing your freedom/happiness for their well-being for the next 18 years minimum. It is not just a massive time commitment but also a massive financial commitment as well.

I think having children can be very rewarding but I know a lot of people who were so excited to have kids then they realized that a lot of the time they kinda suck. The day you have a kid you become second choice to your wife. It's just biology.

I say this as someone who wants kids as well.

doctorlw · 2020-01-14T01:57:24+00:00

There have been a ton of excellent points on here already so I won't rehash any of that. I will say that I agree that kids are absolutely worth it, and can be a source of great joy.

From a more practical standpoint, from my medical experience in dealing with people in their golden years, I will say I cannot imagine being in late life without a family. Those people are almost universally in bad mental and physical health. Truly alone, health making even the once mighty appear pitiful, without anyone to remember them as they once were - a heartbeat away from fading away into obscurity forever. That is not a future I would want any part of.

beginner_ · 2020-01-14T05:54:50+00:00

I just don't want to get myself into a family and dread my life but at the same time, I would love to leave a legacy and pass on my genes.

If I were to have a child, I want to give them every advantage I can. I want them to be good looking, smart, and be educated in upper class fashion (private schools and tutors) so that this upbringing can increase their probability of success (network with rich kids, privy to privilege and information reserved for the rich)p. I've even considered surrogates and buying eggs as from a financial standpoint it is safer. Nonetheless I will still need someone to help me raise them.

Don't have one then. A kid isn't a project with milestones. You can do it that way but you can then also already plan the psychotherapy session for your kid.

oldchunkofcoal_ · 2020-01-14T00:00:45+00:00

building a family is the best thing you could do

amwfhunter · 2020-01-14T02:17:06+00:00

I don't have kids but have already set my life on not having them. Let me impress something on you: between juggling multiple plates, multiple homes, multiple businesses, staying in shape etc: where exactly would you find the meaningful time to raise a child? After all that if you have a spare hour or two a day, don't you want it in peace?

Sounds like you're successful, whatever that means. You have an alpha life. Have a kid, you can't just take a plate on a mini-vacay, you're stuck with it. Not to mention with your attitude (wanting private school etc), that kid will be hella expensive to raise. Time and money are important commodities, don't needlessly waste them by breeding and contributing to overpopulation.

Everybody talks about "passing down their DNA", but be honest with yourself, that shit does not matter. In 100 years you'll be forgotten.

You also run the risk of the kid turning into some drug addict who you're bailing out every second weekend.

edit: NOT having them*

BePrivateGirl · 2020-01-14T05:01:31+00:00

Jesus! The comments on here! Are you people crazy?

If you find yourself walking around in your bomb ass life thinking that all you’ve ever wanted to do is pass on your genes, then maybe. But every business you own, every property that you’ve acquired needs to be boring to you. Because petty problems and ridiculous inquires, and the unending curiosity and energy of a child who doesn’t want to learn handwriting is going to plague you for the next 25 years.

I’m a post wall woman who landed an awesome dude (when i was 25) with a kid and I am 100% against having my own children.

If you come home from work and have enough extroverted energy to dedicate 95% of your down time hours to putting out fires and listening to children babble about paw patrol, trucks, princesses, and video games then spend your energy parenting. Do it.

Having children does not mean that your adoring spawn come and hug you when you walk in the door as you get home from work. It’s not all Norman Rockwell paintings about throwing a baseball. It includes a lot of retarded shit about crying over vegetables that touched my chicken, cheese that got cut into a triangle instead of a rectangle, having to talk to your association manager or pool guy because your kid won’t stop drinking pool water and having diarrhea in a public recreation space. Your six year old daughter is gonna want to grow up to be Ru Paul. Your 11 year old fat boy is gonna grow man tits, hate sports, and wish he was a vampire.

If any ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen a teenager post on reddit has inspired you to figure out how to guide them into a respectable person, then sure, spend your energy on that.

But this is bold faced alpha trope about spreading your seed (having a son presumably) and getting him into good schools. Are you prepared to have an argument with a purple haired third grade teacher about how your kid can’t figure out how to do simple multiplication because he can’t conform to the “Dividing beans into paper cups” method of teaching that the school board is enforcing as a new curriculum.

No, just no.

Go to the gym again and ask yourself what the fuck you are truly considering. It’s the worst gamble you could ever take.

gmoney-18 · 2020-01-14T03:06:13+00:00

You realize you’re not gonna be “spinning plates” when you’re 65 years old? The playboy life is super fun.. until it isn’t. Have kids of you’re own and raise them like the amazing man you claim to be.

Acceptancehunter · 2020-01-14T05:50:52+00:00

The uncertainty the planet is facing over the next 20 years economically and environmentally just makes this a different ball game.

smgtn · 2020-01-14T11:22:27+00:00

I'm in a similar boat as you and I'm leaning towards not having kids. My parents gave up a lot to raise me and now I live in a different country and see them couple of times a year. I know for sure I couldn't come even close to their sacrifice, so I don't see a scenario where my kid wouldn't hate my guts.

Family values and dynamics are absolutely fucked nowadays, at least in the west and women have way too much power to destroy your life and theirs. A woman will absolutely control you and hold you hostage through your child.

philltered · 2020-01-14T11:41:53+00:00

Given how much you are at crossroads with this kid thing, I'll say get a dog first and see if that adds any meaning to your life.

Lateralanouncer · 2020-01-13T23:39:00+00:00

The big thing is to find a woman worthy of your investment. As you likely know, woman are not worth much nowadays so the last thing you want is buyers remorse when your working and she decides to stay at hm and get fat.

Bigboyleggos · 2020-01-14T01:55:49+00:00

Im also in my 30s, I was dead set on not having kids for years. In my early 20s I seriously considered getting sniped but didnt.

In my late 20s I had a roomate that had a 1yo boy. 3 days a week for 2 years that kid tore up the house and I loved it. Roomie eventully got it together and bought a house, I still spend time with him and the kid who calls me uncle. I love that little shit! That little rugrat totally flipped a switch for me, i was now curious what life with kids would be like.

A while later I proposed, I was in a great financial state but terribly depressed. I really had no business taking on what I did, when i did but well.... I did. By the time we actually got married I had shed most of my funk. We stopped all birth control 6 months aftet getting married, wife is preggo shortly after that. I was super excited.

My kiddo just turned 3 months and Im thilled. Pregnancy, birth and the 3 months since have been a fucking rollercoaster of awesome.

My wife could bail and take half my shit, I could bail and lose half my shit, In 5 years she might be a bitchy whale I pay child support to....... I dont own a delorean so I haven't the slightest clue what will happen.

Heres what i know... Earlier today the dog was running around with his toy, I was "flying" a giggling 3mo around following the dog while making airplane noises and all 3 of us had a killer time.

Yesterday the baby was slapping her hanging rattle thing in the baby jungle gym, then looking at the dog who would nose the same rattle, do a quick circle the watch the bsby slap the rattle again. This repeated for 10 min, got me right in the feelz!

Consequences be damned, I fucked up a lot on my way here, I might get bent over the the BIG D or all might be well. Either way I fucking love it and wouldnt trade ot for anything.

;) have fun!

amwfhunter · 2020-01-14T00:14:03+00:00

[deleted]

Infernir · 2020-01-14T03:21:09+00:00

Man this question pops on on some red pill forum every now and then. The thing is... planned parenthood, having kids could be one of the most joyful things ever... and generate unimaginable amounts of happiness, satisfaction with life... there will be some down times and drawbacks like less money, risk of divorce, and risk of not getting to be a part of your child's life as much if things go south.

But that 50% of time it works out? Yeah sure it's worth it. Just make sure to vet whoever you do it with to an absurd extreme, wait at least 3 years in the LTR, get a prenup, and finally make sure the women is crazy about you to the point that she'd be a big alpha widow if you left her.

jrterry1969 · 2020-01-14T04:56:34+00:00

I had three kids then I got divorced. I don’t regret either.

Having kids is an enormous commitment, and it is poison for married sex life. but the kids make it worthwhile, somehow. If you want to know what love really is, I have kids.

Procreating is as much a natural desire as sex. There are some rare people who don’t need sex, and some rare people who don’t want to have kids. If you are even asking this question, you are probably not one of those rare people.

Haytch1234 · 2020-01-14T06:17:32+00:00

Some people love kids.

Some people regret it.

If you are having this doubt now then you are not ready for kids.

You can always replace and go back on decisions made when it comes to plates, business, education.

Having kids is not a reversible decision. If you end up hating it, you're fucked.

Dont give in to pressure. And dont be one of those dickheads who need to satisfy their own ego and ' spread their seed' and have kids.

You need to weigh up and pros and cons and how much you are willing to risk and lose.

fapfapfapnot · 2020-01-14T07:33:20+00:00

You'll experience the euphoria of raising your kid only if you actively raise him/her. If you decide to actively raise one, be ready to lose yourself in the process, like having an ego death. So the thoughts of you leaving your legacy is irrelevant when you raise your kid actively because you're focused on building his legacy (even if it means losing yours!). It's like you were a millionaire but quit and sold all of your businesses and properties (no backup) and now you're going all in on this new business/startup that you believe in. Replace this example with legacy that you're talking about, you stop growing or caring about your legacy and go all in building your kid's. You'll develop a great bond with your child if you go this route.

Based on what I interpret from your post, I don't feel you're ready for the above. I feel you want to raise your kid passively while continuing to build on your legacy and enjoy the life you're currently living which most only dream of. You don't necessarily wanna go all in and lose yourself in this process. You want your own kid so that you can pass him your wealth, businesses, good life, a couple of your life lessons and want him to be raised with a silver spoon (the kind of life you maybe didn't have yourself as a kid), don't necessarily want to deal the with problems of raising one and hire top notch maids, tutors and a butler to raise him. You want him to be known as (Your name)'s Kid in the society. You can do this, most celebs do the same but you gotta realize is that there'll be intense pressure on him to perform well just because he's your kid (if you make a big name for yourself). Now this can either make or break him depends on how he handles it. Also he might respect you for building yourself a great life but there'll never be that strong bond that we talked about above(that only comes with active parenting) because you weren't completely there for him all the time.

Conclusion - IMO (your) social status and actively raising a child are inversely related to each other. You might lose yourself out completely trying to actively build your kid OR you can continue building yourself while raising them passively. But realize that "most" kids who do get raised passively end up hating their parents. Gandhi's own son hated him the most.

KidGrizz · 2020-01-14T13:36:25+00:00

The choice is yours. If you want to have kids then have kids. I have a daughter. Not with the mother. now so on child support. Only regret is I wish I was your age or older when I had my kid. It’s rewarding but it’s a lot of work! If you not going to be with the mother or don’t have a woman you can be with and live with, don’t do it. It’s really that simple. The money part is not that hard if y’all both work.

comu_nacho · 2020-01-14T13:48:21+00:00

I don't want kids, much less during these ominous times

significant_plan_ · 2020-01-14T13:59:10+00:00

To have kids or not.

Here's your answer pleb:

World population growth since the beginning of the human specie.

Only super smart or super beautiful people should procreate. Thus spoke zarathustra!

p.s: Problem? What overpopulation problem?

4thAndLong · 2020-01-14T17:16:31+00:00

I'll be 30 this year. I still have no interest in having a child. My advice would be to have one only if it's what you think about and dream about all day and night. Your fears are justified and very real. You still need to find a partner to help raise the child. Single parent households suck and the chances of the child being a failure are higher. If if you find someone to help raise it, what happens if your kid turns out to be a piece of shit? That's a lot of investment to risk. Most people who have kids are of course going to say, "it was worth it" or "it's the greatest thing ever". No one wants to admit they made the wrong choice. For me, it's too permanent of a thing to have (a child) and I don't want to be responsible for something I ultimately will have no control over when it comes to how it all turns out.

Pdubzilla- · 2020-01-14T17:49:47+00:00

Only do it because you want kids and want to be a father; don't expect anything out of it. Don't do it for any other reason. It is that simple.

And, to me, the whole "passing your genes on" argument is silly. Your specific genes will be filtered out in a few generations and nobody will remember you. Besides, we're all 99.9% the same.

jzekyll6 · 2020-01-14T01:01:55+00:00

I went to private school and prestigious public school. Private school isn’t worth it.

But kids are. If you hire a plate as a babysitter and have more than 3 kids they’ll raise themselves. The less input you have the better so that they feel they should emulate you instead of feeling like they’re forced to obey you. I’m not a father yet at 22, and society doesn’t make it easy to be a single father. But it’s possible.

BlackMonkey14 · 2020-01-14T01:42:00+00:00

“To be a genetic dead end or not”

Zoom out a little. You’re an organism, your primary purpose is to see that your dna continues on. You’ll find that if you orient yourself towards that, your subconscious and conscious mind will start to align.

But if you’re stupid and or ugly and or have major genetic disorders of some sort then you and everyone else will have a better future if you instead devote yourself to something else to improve the world.

Best place to find wifey girls is church, or other countries. The more men they have sex with the less stable they become all around.

RealisticKiwi · 2020-01-14T12:45:55+00:00

I am 27 and have a half year old kid. I really wanted kids. If I would not want kids I would not be in relationship with any women. I don't really care about cuddles, hugs, partner or going on dates etc. I care about sex and getting my dick sucked, but even if my partner still looks extremely good considering she gave birth I still rather fuck some new pussy.

But I don't. Because as you said I care about my legacy and having my own kid(s). I did not do too much parenting so far, but I help my partner and provide every material need.

You don't have to raise your baby/kid 24/7. Most women are designed to do that. Then when the kid will be older you can still teach the good stuff to them.

huey764 · 2020-01-14T01:53:02+00:00

Hell yeah bitch. Gotta pass down them genes, literally what we are here for

Freezy_1 · 2020-01-14T06:29:04+00:00

No parent can guarantee his offspring would live a happy, healthy and a fulfilling life. By bringing a new life to this world a parent is selfishly gambling with the well being of another sentient being whose consent can't be obtained but is instead made to exist by force for sake of their parents' selfish happiness which could potentially suffer untold harms like deadly diseases, accidents, rape, crippling depression, being orphaned at a young age, down's syndrome, permanent disabilities, mental illnesses, Cancer, natural calamities, climate change, etc. Imagine being a man and being proud of gambling with an innocent being's life for sake of your own happiness.

Parenthood provides happiness because it's literally what evolution has programmed our minds with. True understanding of redpill ideology would open your eyes towards not becoming a slave to your evolutionary instincts and procreate but instead rise above towards what a true man should do: override your selfish desires and avoid risking potential suffering towards an innocent being by giving it birth. Don't live in a bubble, look at the world, just because life is dope for you doesn't mean it would be the same for your offsprings. Don't play Russian roulette with your offsprings' lives by putting their well-being at stake.

You have the right to enjoy and live life as per the way you want, just don't make that decision for someone else bucko, you don't know what kind of suffering that being would have to endure through it's lifetime.

flatox · 2020-01-14T09:52:14+00:00

You will be unhappy later in life if you do not have kids.

Personally, i have made peace with that, but i am still not particularly looking forward to being old, having a lot of money and knowledge of life and nobody to share it with.

agjrpsl · 2020-01-14T01:33:18+00:00

Yeah, you sound like a real asshole. I wouldn't want to be your kid. Take your troubled ass out of here and get mental help.

TRPCops · 2020-01-14T10:08:59+00:00

If you want to be outnumbered and outvoted by diversity, go ahead and commit genetic suicide.

Title	To have kids or not
Author	amwfhunter
Upvotes	98
Comments	200
Date	January 13, 2020 9:24 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eoaly9/to_have_kids_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/to-have-kids-or-not.310922 https://theredarchive.com/post/310922

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