29 year virgin ED on first try

OriginalLight1 · 2025-05-12T11:06:03+00:00

Performance anxiety. As you get more comfortable with her, it will go away on its own. I have a similar issue with new partners, I guess you could say some people like you and I aren’t built for quick hookups.

Vips92 · 2025-05-12T10:56:10+00:00

Netherus already said it better than I could that's a great answer, it's almost definitely performance anxiety. Just remember she cares about you, is happy to be with you regardless of your sexual performance. We know this because she'd have left after the first time otherwise, this happens a lot and it means you've found a good one if she's still there.

She just cares about you, and at that point sex is something to be enjoyed as a pair, not something to be performed by the man and received by the woman. I know it's hard to but try not putting so much pressure on yourself, try to enjoy the moment the same way you would when masturbating (also agree on stopping doing that now to assist this).

When you go to fuck you've got 29 years worth of "what if it goes wrong?!" anxiety swimming around, it doesn't serve you and in a lot of ways it's self fulfilling. You've done the hard part making yourself desirable to women and getting a gf, this is the easy part - you're meant to relax and enjoy the fruits of your labour not continue stressing! Not saying it's easy by any stretch to overcome the mindset but I think you know what I'm saying. Best of luck dude

Netherus · 2025-05-12T10:45:04+00:00

Hey there. Just some feedback on what you've shared.

I don’t have any erection issues when I’m with her, kissing hugging fingering ext. And she is very happy about iy but as soon as I pick up a condom, I start losing my erection.

I'm sure this is performance anxiety. And picking a condom might be triggering it for you.

The same thing happens even during masturbation when I try to get used to condom. Whenever I hold a condom, I lose firmness.

I don't think you need to get used to a condom, especially not masturbating so you can get used to it. When it's the time, you just use it.

I’ve told my girlfriend that I’ve never had sex before, and she was understanding.

That's great, honesty is the way to go.

She has much more experience than me and she says this is not a problem and she is happy to be with me.

Believe her.

But right now I have more anxiety that what if she dumb me because of my problem.

Don't believe you inner, self-defeating talk!

Do you think using a drug like Cialis would help?

Only if you want your problem to become worse.

Also, let me give you some pointers:

- Sex is not just penetration. Are you pleasuring your gf with your hands, mouth, words before you get to the point where you want to insert a condom? Is she doing it to you as well? Try to focus on foreplay, it builds up your horniness, and might ease your stress and make the following part more easy. Rub her body, whisper dirty things in her hear, kiss her all over.

- Stop watching porn, and heavily reduce your masturbation. Your performance anxiety may be porn-induced.

- Ask her to stimulate you manually, without a condom. Just a gentle rubbing. That could help ease the tension, and if you orgasm, great. Then, taking the next step to penetration is easier.

Disclaimer: I'm just a random guy, I'm not an health professional.

x_Goldensniper_x · 2025-05-12T17:41:46+00:00

Normal. Watch Dr K video on the matter

basafo · 2025-05-12T18:10:24+00:00

Use XL. You're welcome

nighthunterrrr · 2025-05-12T10:38:51+00:00

no t sure if hit the gym advice here will work /s

Far-Sir1362 · 2025-05-12T12:58:33+00:00

It's just anxiety. I had the same thing before when I was anxious about having sex with someone new. In my personal experience it just went away as I got comfortable with them.

Since it seems a bit harder (no pun intended) for you, do this instead:

Practice getting comfortable in stages. Start putting on a condom by yourself and just masturbate. Be patient if it doesn't work straight away. Keep trying until you get it to work.

Once you're comfortable with that, try putting it on during foreplay. Don't worry if you lose your erection, just put it on quickly and switch your focus onto your girlfriend again, start kissing her, pleasuring her.

Eventually you'll get hard with the condom on and be able to have sex.

PMA9696 · 2025-05-12T14:51:30+00:00

I had the same issue when I lost my virginity. I was too nervous and in my own head.

If you have no problem achieving and maintaining an erection otherwise (during foreplay, masturbation, etc.) then it's not a biological issue.

It's just a matter of getting some more experience under your belt and finding your confidence. I would actually advise against viagra because it might make you feel dependent.

Definitely quit porn and masturbating if you haven't already. That way you'll be ready to go when the time arrives.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-05-12T15:05:26+00:00

Most likely anxiety. This is new territory for you out of your comfort zone and you lose focus. You'll just have to get more comfortable through experience. Good job on sticking with a condom.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2025-05-12T15:48:05+00:00

It happens to people during their first time. Us guys dont like to talk about it but many of us have gotten performance anxiety.

The thing is when you pick up the protection you are getting in your head. It may be best if you start getting comfortable with the idea of sex maybe have her put it on.

If it's still a problem I would say go to your doctor and let them know what is happening. They will likley have you see a urologist after runnning some test. WHo may prescribe you some viagra (or similar). I went through a similar thing years ago where I lost alot of confidence and it was showing. The urologist told me I could either wait it out (could be days, weeks, months) or take the pill. I swallowed my pride and took the pill every 2 days or so. It helped and after like 2 weeks of taking it I weened off of it as I didnt want to trick my mind into thinking I needed it to perfrom.

Foreign_Train3829 · 2025-05-12T11:28:11+00:00

Viagra will help you with that. After doing it the first couple of times on viagra, your performance anxiety could diminish and moving forward from there you can lower the Dosis and/or completely cut it out. However, I am not an expert, have never experienced that and am just sharing experiences I have read on and heard from friends. You should consult an urologist (for a viagra description) and maybe a sex therapist.

Fast-Fact5545 · 2025-05-12T11:00:34+00:00

Get some Viagra

dd_davo · 2025-05-12T16:35:36+00:00

As domeone who was in your position, here’s the playbook:

Be honest about being a virgin and about being super nervous about possible ED. If she doesnt accept that and helps you, you are screwed.

Once she’s onboard Get drunk, get viagra, understand that you will still suck. (Also only have 2 drinks. Any more and you might get too drunk to have an erection).

Then practice, practice, practice.

Learn how to get her off with your tongue and fingers and it will build your confidence.

Oh yeah and immediately stop watching any kind of porn for at least 30 days.

Thats the only thing that works. Good luck

deCourierr · 2025-05-13T01:09:27+00:00

Hey condom might be too small for you, happened to me twice before I swapped it to a bigger one and now sex is great. It’s not supposed to be super tight.

JyotsnaMalani2 · 2025-05-12T13:32:14+00:00

That is just some anxiety.

Footspork · 2025-05-12T14:42:13+00:00

Sounds like you have a very understanding partner, which is half the battle man.

Mine just cried and told me I wasn’t attracted to her. This was 20 years ago and it still gives me anxiety. shrugs

KingRemu · 2025-05-12T16:34:06+00:00

Happens to the best of us. Back in the day at the beginning of my second relationship I had been out of the game for quite a while and the same happened to me. After the third failed attempt I got a prescription for Cialis. Used it once, got the deed done and didn't need it after that.

It's just a mental thing and rubbers definitely used to be a trigger for me as well. It will probably go away when you get more comfortable with your girl but sometimes it can become a nasty cycle because you only think about losing your erection. If you're open for the meds then by all means go for it. Helped me for sure and haven't needed them since.

SmartAd3816 · 2025-05-12T17:28:38+00:00

Try taking tribulus terrestris ;)

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-05-12T18:31:29+00:00

Is she giving you oral first to get you ready before the condom? If not, definitely try to get her to do that first before resorting to ED drugs.

VillageBig4452 · 2025-05-12T19:12:42+00:00

Same here bro,then once i used tadalafil 5mg from boldcare,saved me from shame,truly worked dont use so often,trust me it really works,take one tablet before the action like 30 min before,you will be ready for 3round

Imaginary_Extent_696 · 2025-05-12T21:33:31+00:00

Happened to me too. Just try to be patient! It’ll happen. Stop watching porn!

Secure-Outcome8687 · 2025-05-13T03:15:19+00:00

See a therapist.

This is should be the advice for everyone looking to improve their dating life rather than paying to learn third rate parlour tricks from some arsehole that is more concerned about lining his pockets than he is with helping you.

Do you have love and respect for yourself? Do you have a strong and playful heart?

If the answer isn't 'yes' to both you might need therapy. Also, look into your sleep. Getting the right amount and right quality. If you experience day time fatigue, maybe you have a sleep disorder which is gonna induce/worsen anxiety.

jajajachilo · 2025-05-13T05:55:24+00:00

Just get a rhino pill

Tight-Maybe-7408 · 2025-05-13T12:33:30+00:00

Yup this is classic performance anxiety. Been there. Theres a few options here …

What I did and prob would recommend against is you can go to the doctor and get the ED pills. The problem with that is then you get reliant on a real drug that you don’t need, and also it makes you a little numb down there

The other option is being patient with yourself. You need to have trust with your girl. All these insecurities you are feeling about her thinking you’re dumb etc, you need to tell her. Any thoughts you have about this shit you need to discuss with her and jt will make you more comfortable with her.

I’d also recommend setting the expectation with her to start that “hey you can come over and we’ll mess around but probably not have sex “, to take the pressure off yourself . Additionally would spend some time doing naked cuddling with her etc that should help.

But yes these things are hard (no pun intended). I personally didn’t do this shit and just got cialis. This was kind of the short term bandaid fix and I’ve only had sex with cialis which is not a great spot to be in. But also like, it’s not like you’re doing cocaine or some shit lol, if you become psychologically dependent on it to have sex, all that will happen (mostly) is sex won’t become as good enough for you as it could be, but taking cialis one time doesn’t doom you to this. Would prob recommend getting the cialis and doing all the other shit I said, but setting a “hard cut off “ to when you won’t take the cialis again regardless of what happens

DeadOfKnight · 2025-05-14T00:06:36+00:00

Have you considered not using a condom?

Don’t listen to me, I give terrible advice.

originalgainster · 2025-05-15T19:16:28+00:00

this is not about seduction.

Unlikely-Hornet8022 · 2025-05-20T03:04:53+00:00

Use Cialias. Then maybe do Angion method or kegels and your dick will be hard with or without anxiety

jfl at responses

thedrinkmonster · 2025-05-12T14:55:16+00:00

Just raw dog it, homie.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2025-05-12T18:25:31+00:00

You are 29, dude. You should be waking up rock solid. If this isn't a medical issue, it's psychological. You may not be into penetrating a vagaina.

AtDaLastMinute · 2025-05-12T12:00:53+00:00

Are you thinking about her past when you're about to penetrate?

Asking because I sometimes get like this.

FatherSun · 2025-05-13T08:40:26+00:00

Condoms kill the mood regardless of situations. Safe sex is never great sex. Go raw or go home

Aur_Mummy_kaise_he · 2025-05-12T15:32:49+00:00

How she has more experince 😉🧐

Individual_Piece8146 · 2025-05-12T15:37:20+00:00

You need Viagra or Cialis. If that doesn't work, the injections (it doesn't hurt too much) of Trimix will definitely work. Then, as you get comfortable with her and start having regular sex, the body will respond better. It will get used to the sex and erections will improve. That was my experience.

Also, condoms are terrible for men with ED. Ask her if you/she can use another method.

Title	29 year virgin ED on first try
Author	Koftehor1
Upvotes	63
Comments	54
Date	May 12, 2025 10:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kkp0jt/29_year_virgin_ed_on_first_try/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/29-year-virgin-ed-on-first-try.1552019 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552019

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